Oblivious to being a mistake

Okay... we can do this. We got this, Kemly. 화이팅."

Three more years before facing reality.

Well... you're probably wondering who I am and why I'm hyping myself up this early in the morning.

Truth is... I need to be better.

I'm just a girl—

Nah. That sounds weak.

I'm a woman.

Okay, calm down, Kemly. It's literally just the first day of school. No big deal.

High school.

Or, as they call it here in Nigeria, senior secondary school.

Honestly... what can I say?

I just came back two years age after years of being away.

I miss my family.

Well... most of them.

I have five siblings — three boys and two girls. Including me, that makes six children in total.

But deep down, I know we were supposed to be more than that.

Sorry. I'm thinking too much again.

Anyway, it's just me, my mom, and my siblings now. My small little family.

"Kemly!" my mom shouted from downstairs. "You're going to be late for school! Aren't you done yet? Your sister is about to leave!"

"I'm coming!" I yelled back.

I stood in front of the mirror and forced out a small laugh before staring at my reflection again.

My room was still messy from last night. Clothes scattered everywhere. Books  on the floor. Half-finished poems which I thought I was in the mood to write but ended up becoming

A complete disaster.

Just like my thoughts.

I grabbed my bag and rushed toward the door before suddenly freezing.

"Wait... did I use mascara today?"

Oh no.

I quickly ran back to my mirror and reached for it immediately. Mascara always made me feel more confident.

Even if I wasn't sure whether confidence could really come from something outside me.

The school was only about a five-minute drive from home. I sat in the car with my sister and my nephew, who is just five years old. He was cheerful, completely unaware of the nervous tension building inside me. He attends the same school as I do, and somehow that made everything feel even more real.

What made it even more surprising was that my sister works there too. So it wasn't just a school trip for me—it felt like everyone around me already belonged there except me.

As we got closer, I could feel it. That nervousness crept over me like a blanket I couldn't shake off, no matter how hard I tried. I stared out of the window, watching the school gates slowly come into view, my thoughts getting louder than the world outside.

What if I don't fit in?

What if I'm rejected or something goes wrong on my first day?

I tried to calm myself, but my hands still felt tense, and my chest wouldn't relax. I kept telling myself that it was just school—nothing more—but my feelings didn't listen.

By the time the car slowed down, I knew there was no escaping it anymore. I had to go in, face it, and find out what this new chapter of my life would really be like.

So I took a breath ....