My delulu
I put on my slippers to walk out. The weather was cold enough that I could feel my shoulders shaking by itself. I could notice a burned out campfire few metres away left with few sparks still glittering out in the dark.
I followed my way through and sat on the bench beside it. I managed to collect few logs of wood and threw it inside to ignite the flame. I slowly started to catch fire.
"Couldn't sleep?" Anjana asked standing behind me.
"Hmm...or I might me sleep walking" I said watching the flame getting brighter now.
"I don't remember you sleep walking before, do you?" she asked. I felt her seating herself beside me and her warm shoulder was colliding against me. I smiled a little.
"You smell never changes" I said, inhaling her scent which is much stronger than the smoke. Pretty intoxicating smell she has.
"Really? your remember that?".
"Some things can't be erased from here" I said pointing my head. Her lips widened creating a beautiful smile and her cheeks gets the dimple which adds more beauty to her face.
"Hmm..hmm...You sound more like a writer now, nice choice of words" She said and her hands wrapped through my forearm. I felt her head leaning against my shoulders, her soft hair brushing my neck area a little.
"All because of you" I said.
"I didn't expect you to be here, Banglore...Dandeli.."
"Hmm....How's your study? MBA?"
"Pretty good, I've become a class topper, gained few friends...etc"
"Hmm...that's cool. Seems like you're socialising nowadays" I said and our fingers interwined with each other.
"None of the bond feels like us Vignesh..none ever could be" She said. Those words brought a smirk on my face, A proud one. I didn't talk much, the silence between us was soothing more enough.
"I saw your instagram, you've been to Madurai too?" She asked.
"Yep, there was a training. Beautiful city" I said.
"Hmm...I miss Madurai" She said.
"I know, I could feel your presence when I was there"
"Really? what else did you feel?" She asked turning towards me, her chin resting over her fists looking at me with those damn eyes.
"Hmm...random things. Like...Anjana would've walked in these streets. Anjana likes green tea, she would probably stop by this shop. Anjana would've check out the books if she was with me in Vishal mall,etc..." I said. Her lips stretched again and she tugged her face on my shoulders in blush.
"You kept thinking of me for the entire time in Madurai?" She asked.
"The thing is...I never stopped thinking of you Anju, till now..." I said. Our eyes met when I said it. I could see the reflection of the flame through her pupil..Her face slowly faded infront of me..
***
I closed my diary after hearing the door been knocked desperately. Vaani was on the other side. I stood up from my table to unlock it.
"What were you doing? I said to keep your door open" She said. I sighed. Her eyes fell on diary on the table.
"What is that?" she asked and moved towards it.
"Nothing Vaani, I was just writing..."
"About Anjana? right?" She cut me at the mid scentence, stretched her hands to take the diary.
"Vaani please.." I pleaded. She glared at me. To be honest,I'm a bit scared of her glare. I withdrew my hands allowing her to take it from me.
She read the whole chapter starting from the campfire part where I and Anjana talking. Her face became furious in seconds.
"Is this why you've been nagging me to come to banglore and dandeli? To feel that bitch again?" Vaani exploded.
"Vaani, watch your tongue" I said.
"Orelse what? Idiot. I trying my best to get you out of this for months Vignesh, do you ever care how hard it is? do you even think of me?" she screamed.
"Vaani...please calm down, people may hear us"
"Oh..fine then. let them hear,let your Anjana come to dandeli. Atleast I could face her now and tell her to get the fuck out of your Vignesh's life" She said,her eyes became moist in an instant. Her legs trembled and she sat aside in a chair.
"Hey...hey Vaani, Are you okay?" I ran to her and knelt down infront to check her. She slapped my hands when I tried to touch her.
"I'm good, you're the one who is sick here" She said in her squeeky voice, I couldn't control my smirk there. She may be angry,but still cute.
" Vaani, you're best friend nahh? please calm down, I beg you" I tried to convince her,my cheesy talks never failed to calm her down.
She slowly wiped her tears with her palm and let out a deep breath.
"You can't be like this forever Vignesh" Her voice sounds more serious this time.
"Vaani...Anjana was.."
"Anjana is dead,she is not anymore. You have to accept that...there is no other go" she said and held my shoulders both sides, her words struck deep into me.
"You may go to Bangalore,Madurai or whatever place she lived in the past. You can't find her anywhere dude. These kind of writings about her, it's like a poison to yourself" she said and threw away that diary on my bed.
"I know Vaani, she is dead. I knew that more than you do.." I said.
"Then why are you doing this to yourself? I'm worried about you Vicky, I promised your parents to get you out of this. I'm afraid to face them, if you keep on continuing these things" She said. Usually she loses her mind when she gets angry. But now her flow of words were pleasing and her point was clear.
Few drops of tears fell on my wrists when I held her hands. I wiped her cheeks with my fingers.
"I miss her so much Vaani..." I said. Vaani tried to interrupt, but I placed my forefinger on her lips to keep her silent till I finish.
"I know.., I can't get her back. She is way for from me now. The only way I can feel her presence is by this.." I said pointing at the diary on the bed as I continued.
"She gave me everything more than I deserved. She gave me hope Vaani, she made me a writer. How could I just throw her away like that?"
"But you have to move on, It's more important. Your life is more important for us more than hers" She said. I felt lucky to have Vaani there, she cared for me more than me myself.
"I will. I don't wanna feel her absence in all of a sudden. That's why I keep on travelling to the places she was related to...Bangalore,Madurai.." I said and sighed.
"It makes me feel her around me,her breath is still around in those air. It's my happiest memory...I just write down whatever we wished to have in future. Sadly she is no more, atleast I could write down our desires so that her soul becomes happy reading it somehow" I said.
Vaani was looking at me the entire time. Took a few minutes for thinking.
"Promise me" she said atlast.
"Promise what? to kiss you?" I asked in a playful note. She pinched my left ear.
"Ahh..hey..."
"Promise me that you'll move on soon" she said. I smiled and placed my palm over hers and dragged it over my cheeks as an act of assurance.
She got up to leave to her room. Dandeli resorts allow unmarried couples,but I don't wanna stay with her and induce people to gossip us as a couple.
"Was that just your imagination? or you're hallucinating her too?" she asked when she reached the door.
"oh..yeah yeah. Actually she is here in this room you know, only visible to me. Like that movie 'Sarvam Maya' remember" I said playfully. She hit me on my shoulders.
"Good night,idiot. Don't stay up for long. We have to go for jungle safari in the morning" She said and left giving me a hug before leaving. I closed the door and locked it from inside.
"She cares for you" A voice appeared. I turned around and smiled. There she was, Anjana.
'Actually she is here in this room, only visible to me'
"Yeah..after all, that's what best friends do. Isn't it Anju?" I said and walked to my bed.
"So what am I now?" Anjana asked.
"What every writer has..A memory, a motivation to writing, A Delulu." I said.
"So where are we?" I opened the diary and continued writing...
