Idol Protocol

The humid August heat of Iowa was thick enough to choke on. Krista sprawled across her bed, towel-drying her long, wavy, dark brown hair. Outside, the crickets were screaming, and inside, her phone was buzzing incessantly on the nightstand.

When she picked up, Jules was practically vibrating on the other end, “DUDE. Shut the fuck up and look at the link I just sent you. I am not kidding; I am actually going to throw up.”

Krista dragged herself to her desk and opened the link. The laptop screen flickered to life, revealing a low-res Flash animation of a spinning silver moon.

STARGATE ENTERTAINMENT. 2013 GIRL GROUP DEBUT PROJECT. GLOBAL AUDITIONS OPEN NOW.

“Okay, I know what you’re going to say,” Jules said, her voice high and manic. “You’re going to say it looks like a front for a human trafficking ring. But look at the producer! It’s that guy who worked on, like, one B-side for SHINee three years ago. He’s legit! And they’re doing video submissions first. We don’t even have to go anywhere yet.”

She huffed, sounding offended that Krista hadn’t responded yet.

“Come on, dude. We’ve been doing those dance covers in your garage since middle school. You’re better than half the girls in that video, and you’re actually…you know, tall. And you don’t look like a thumb. If we stay here, we’re just going to end up like your sister or something, worrying about fucking prom themes for the next three years. Don’t you want to do something that isn’t… this?”

“First of all, I’m like 5’2”, Jules, I’m nowhere NEAR tall. Also, hello? I’m, like, the heaviest girl in our class. I’d NEVER be considered. You’ve lost your goddamn mind,” Krista responded, listening to Jules on speaker. “Even if we did try this, what would we even audition with? We barely know any Korean. Unless we wanna do something from that new group, Fifth Harmony.”

“Oh, fuck off with the ‘heaviest’ shit, Krista. You have curves,” Jules snorted. “And Fifth Harmony? Hell yes! We do ‘Anything Could Happen.’ The website says they want English speakers! Think about it. We record the video in your garage. If they say no, who cares? Nobody ever has to know.”

“We might not even get Mr. Henderson this year. We’re doing American History this year, remember? Anyway, my mom would kill us, and Victoria? She’s a senior this year! Imagine what’ll happen if she sics her little clique on us if we do this stupid shit. Remember, I LIVE WITH MY MOM, and so does Victoria. We’d literally have to go to my dad’s new house, like a town over, and neither of us can drive yet,” Krista scoffed, putting on a tank top and pajama shorts. “And what if they want us to do separate audition videos? Like, sure, we could MAYBE apply as a duo, but knowing these companies, they’d also want separate solo songs or whatever. What am I gonna sing, huh? Also, choir singing isn’t exactly what they’d be looking for.”

“Ugh, don’t even say the word ‘History’ to me. I’m already mourning my free time. And who gives a fuck about Victoria? She’s a senior, she’s basically dead already. In nine months, she’ll be off at some state college trying to make ‘fetch’ happen in a sorority. Let her clique bark; they’re just mad they’re stuck in the suburbs while we’re… potentially… not.” Jules replied.

Krista then suddenly heard the sound of Jules aggressively typing on a keyboard.

“Okay, I’m looking at the ‘FAQ’ section. It’s written in really broken English, like, ‘Please to be showing your soul voice,’ but yeah, they want individual videos. But we can film them at the same time! And don’t give me that ‘choir’ bullshit. You have pipes, Krista. You just hide them behind the alto section because you don’t want the attention. If you sang something like JoJo’s ‘Too Little Too Late’ or even some Adele? They’d lose their minds.”

She paused, the fan on her end whirring loudly.

“And your dad’s house is perfect! It’s like a thirty-minute bike ride, or we just tell your mom we’re going to the library and then take the bus. Your dad actually likes us. He thinks we’re ‘creative.’ He’ll just think we’re making a YouTube video for fun. He doesn’t have to know it’s being sent to a basement in Gangnam.”

Jules’ voice dropped, losing some of the manic energy and sounding almost… hopeful.

“Look, I know it’s a long shot. I know I’m the one who’s always ‘out of my goddamn mind.’ But look at the groups that are coming out right now. They aren’t all perfect dolls anymore. It’s 2012. Everything is changing. If we don’t try now, when are we going to? When we’re twenty and working at the mall? Just… one video. If they don’t reply in two weeks, we delete the link and never speak of it again. I’ll even buy you those overpriced nachos from the movie theater. My treat.”

Krista massaged her temples in frustration, then lowered her voice into a whisper. “Fine, but we CANNOT mention ANYTHING about it at school Monday, unless it’s just the two of us; we can’t risk Victoria or her cronies hearing us, like…” she gagged before saying, “Tonya. That bitch thinks she’s more Italian than actual Italians, even though she’s actually from Long Island and her family moved to Iowa here like, six years ago.”

Jules let out a muffled scream of victory that she had clearly tried to smother into a pillow, “YES! Oh my god, Krista, I love you. You won’t regret this, I promise. And oh, God, Tonya. Don’t even get me started. If I have to hear her say ‘gabagool’ one more time like she’s in a low-budget Mafia movie, I’m going to throw myself into traffic. She’s about as Italian as an Olive Garden breadstick.”

Krista heard her scrambling around, probably looking for a notebook to start ‘planning’ their world domination.

“Deal,” Jules said, “Absolute radio silence at school. If anyone asks, we’re just… I don’t know, obsessed with some new Tumblr aesthetic or something. Victoria would probably just laugh herself into a coma if she found out anyway, so we’re keeping this locked down tighter than Victoria’s Spanx.”

She lowered her voice too, mimicking Krista’s conspiratorial tone.

“Okay, so this weekend. Saturday morning. We tell your mom we’re going to that ‘big’ Starbucks by the mall to study for the first quiz of the year, but we take the 42 bus out to your dad’s place. I’ll bring my iPod with the tracks loaded. You just bring… your voice. And maybe that one black top you have that makes you look like you’re in a music video instead of a pajama party.”

A beat of silence passed between the two girls, then Jules spoke again.

“We’re really doing this, aren’t we? Like, for real? I’m gonna start practicing my ‘signature’ for the fan signs. Do you think I should use a heart or a star? No, a star is too basic. Maybe a little lightning bolt…”

Jules was already spiraling into the fantasy, completely ignoring the fact that they hadn’t even touched a camera yet.

“See you Monday at the lockers? Try not to look like you’re plotting a secret escape from the country, okay? Just act normal. Or as normal as you can around Tonya and the Pizza Brigade.”

“Girl, slow down. We might not even make it past the auditions, and what if…” Krista started, then trailed off, not wanting to mention it, but knowing she’d have no choice, she’d have to snap Jules back to reality, and sooner rather than later, “one of us makes it, and the other doesn’t?” The line went quiet. It was the first time all night that Jules hadn’t had a mile-a-minute comeback ready to go. The only sound was the faint, rhythmic whir of her laptop fan over the speaker.

That was the unspoken ‘death blow’ for every friend group that tried to do this. The K-pop industry didn’t care about the Buddy System. They were looking for specific archetypes to fill a slot, and ‘Best Friends’ wasn’t a role; it was a liability.

“Don’t do that,” Jules finally said, her voice sounding small and a lot less confident. “Don’t go all… realistic on me yet. We haven’t even filmed the stupid thing.”

She sighed, and Krista imagined her staring up at her ceiling, the glow of her laptop casting shadows on her posters.

“Look… if that happens,” she started, then paused, “then we deal with it then. But honestly? They probably want a ‘set.’ If they like one of us, they’ll probably see the potential in both of us. We have chemistry, right? We’ve been doing this together since we were ten. You can’t manufacture that.”

It sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince Krista.

“But if it comes down to it… I’d rather one of us get the fuck out of here than neither of us. Even if it’s just you. I’d be your number one fan. I’d be the one running your fansite and fighting people on Twitter.”

She let out a shaky little laugh.

“But that’s not gonna happen. We’re a package deal. Stargate Entertainment isn’t ready for the Iowa duo. Go to sleep, Krista. You’re thinking too much, and that’s when you start getting all ‘logical’ and boring. Just… dream about being rich or something. I’ll see you Monday.”

She hung up before Krista could poke any more holes in the plan, leaving her in the humid silence of her room with the image of that sketchy, galaxy-themed website still burned into her retinas.

The following morning, as Jules and Krista walked into their school, the smell of floor wax and Axe body spray signaled the start of sophomore year. They noticed Tonya was already at the water fountain, her orange-tinted tan glowing under the fluorescent lights.

“Hey, Krista! Did you see what Victoria posted on Facebook last night? Your sister is, like, literally a goddess. I don’t know how you guys are even related, honestly. Must be the water in your part of the house or something.”

“Oh, you know, I’m not sneaking around on Pro-Ana Tumblr like you and Tori are, maybe that’s why I don’t look like…that,” Krista said, glaring at Tonya, and a couple of ‘oohs’ were heard, even from the people surrounding her.

Before Tonya could even respond, the giant metal doors swung open, and in strutted Victoria, her long, soft hair shining under the fluorescent lights as she flipped it over her shoulder, “Now, now, Tonya, why should we waste time on the Sophomores? I heard we’re getting some Asian exchange student today.” Then she glared sharply at Krista as if to say, ‘You owe me big, don’t expect me to cover your ass next time.’

“Now, now, Tonya, why should we waste time on the Sophomores?” Victoria said. “I heard we’re getting some Asian exchange student today.” Victoria lazily flipped her hair over her shoulder and led her ‘court’ away, though Tonya was still huffing like a bull.

Jules, who had been trying to blend into the locker like she was part of the metal, suddenly lunged for Krista’s arm. Her fingernails dug into Krista’s sweatshirt, and she was vibrating with so much energy that she looked like she might vibrate out of her sneakers.

“Did you hear that?” Jules hissed, her voice a frantic, low-register squeal. “Seoul! From Seoul! In this fucking cornfield wasteland? Krista, this is a sign. This is a literal goddamn sign from the universe.” “It’s just an exchange student, Jules,” Krista muttered, though her heart was thudding in her chest. “Probably some kid whose parents want him to experience ‘real America’ before he has to go work in a cubicle for the rest of his life.”

“No, look!” Jules gripped Krista’s chin and physically yanked her head toward the main office window.

Standing there, talking to the bored-looking secretary, was a guy who looked like he’d been edited into the scene by a professional colorist. He was wearing a black hoodie that probably cost more than Krista’s entire wardrobe and slim-fit jeans that made everyone else’s baggy Levi’s look like potato sacks.

“He looks… expensive,” Jules whispered, her jaw practically on the floor. “He looks like he just stepped out of a music video. You have to talk to him.”

“Absolutely the fuck not. Now come on, let’s get to our homeroom,” Krista snapped, dragging Jules away.

At lunch, the cafeteria was a humid roar of voices and the smell of lukewarm tater tots. Krista and Jules were at their usual ‘safe’ table in the corner, but Jules wasn’t eating. She was scanning the room like a hawk.

“There.” Jules nudged Krista so hard she almost knocked over her water, “Table five. By the window. Victoria already moved in.”

Sure enough, Min-Ho was sitting at a table, looking like he was trying to phase through the wall. Victoria was sitting across from him, leaning forward with her hair perfectly draped over one shoulder, clearly doing her ‘Welcoming Committee’ routine. Tonya was next to her, nodding along like a bobblehead.

Min-Ho looked polite, but his eyes were darting around the room, eventually landing on his phone again.

“He looks miserable,” Krista noted, picking at her salad. “She’s probably explaining the ‘social hierarchy’ of the pep squad to him right now. Poor bastard.”

“Go over there!” Jules hissed. “Tell her your mom needs the house keys or something! Use an excuse! We need to talk to him before she brainwashes him into thinking we’re the ‘weird’ ones. Look at his phone, Krista; he’s using Kakao. I saw the yellow icon! He’s definitely talking to someone back home.”

“I already told you, I’m not gonna go over and TALK to the guy and have Tonya or Maddie insult me to my fucking face again. At least Victoria is just, I dunno, telling him shit,” Krista snapped.

Before Jules could shove her over there, the boy got up and she heard him say, in a very British accent as if he’d gone to school in the UK or something, “My apologies, but, I have to call my little brother. He’s…potentially doing something reckless. But, I may ask for help later.”

As he walked past Krista and Jules, he nodded. Then Krista saw him hit the ‘call’ button on a name in Hangul she couldn’t read and heard him talking in rapid-fire Korean mixed with English. Jules’ jaw practically hit the table as Min-Ho’s posh British voice drifted over them. She watched him walk past, her eyes trailing him until the cafeteria doors swung shut behind him.

“Did you… did you just hear that?” Jules whispered, her voice cracking with pure shock. “A British accent? He sounds like he should be in a Harry Potter movie, not this dump.”

She leaned in close, her eyes wide and frantic, ignoring the fact that half the cafeteria was now staring at their table after his dramatic exit.

“And he’s calling his brother! ‘Something reckless,’ Krista, that has to be trainee shit! He’s probably telling his brother to stop skipping practice or not to sign with a sketchy company! This is a literal gift from the gods!”

Jules started shoving her notebook and half-finished lunch into her backpack, her movements jerky and desperate.

“We have to follow him. He’s right out there in the hallway! If we can just hear a name… or if he says ‘Stargate’… we’ll know if we’re actually about to get scammed or if we have a shot! Come on, we can just pretend we’re going to the library early!”

She stood up, pulling on her backpack straps, waiting for Krista to make a move. Over at the ‘royal’ table, Victoria was staring at the closed doors with a look of stunned offense, her mouth slightly open. It was clear she wasn’t used to being walked out on mid-sentence, and Tonya looked like she was waiting for a command on how to react.

Krista looked between her pizza, Jules, and the guy who just walked out, and she grabbed Jules’ wrist, dragging her back down to the seat in the cafeteria. “Jules, are you fucking insane?!” she whisper-yelled, “If we follow him out there, he’ll think we’re stalking him!”

Jules hissed as her wrist hit the table, but she stayed down, her eyes darting between Krista and the swinging double doors. She looked like a cat that had just seen a bird and was being physically restrained from pouncing.

“I’m not insane, I’m proactive!” Jules whispered back, though she didn’t try to stand up again. “Did you hear the rapid-fire Korean? He was talking so fast I thought his tongue was going to fall off. And he looked stressed, Krista. Like, ’my-brother-is-about-to-ruin-his-life’ stressed.”

She leaned in even closer, her voice barely audible over the roar of the lunchroom, “If his brother is aiming for the Big 3, of course he thinks it’s reckless. Everyone knows SM and JYP are like… elite tier. But if he’s trying to talk him into somewhere else? That means he knows the industry. He knows which companies are actually legit and which ones are just basements with a dance floor.”

Krista glanced over her shoulder at Victoria’s table. Her sister was currently stabbing a piece of fruit with a plastic fork, her expression thunderous.

“Look at Victoria,” Jules hissed, pointing out Krista’s sister, “She’s pissed because she couldn’t even get him to stay for the ‘tour.’ If we just act like we’re passing by on our way to the counselor or something, we can catch a vibe. I’m telling you, Krista, if we don’t use this guy, we’re going into that audition blind. We won’t know if ‘Stargate’ is a name people actually respect or if it’s a joke.”

She let out a frustrated huff, her neon-pink gum snapping loudly, “Fine. We don’t follow him like creeps. But we have to find a way to talk to him. Maybe in theater or something? Or do you think Victoria has already marked her territory so hard he’ll be afraid to look at another human being?”

“If you wanna be a fucking weirdo, fine, we can walk past him or something. Since the next block is our free period, we can go to the courtyard or something. But DO NOT STARE like he’s some alien creature, just…casually eavesdrop,” Krista replied, finishing her pizza, and the two of them headed out.

As they walked past him, Krista heard something along the lines of, “Seung-Won, do NOT go to SM, gaemeongcheonghan saekki, have you SEEN how they treat Sulliand Krystal?! Go to, I don’t know, Cube or Starship or something! At least you probably won’t be gaecheoleom gulmjulin or something.”

Jules didn’t say a word until they were well past Min-Ho. She waited until they were tucked behind a row of oversized trophy cases before she rounded on Krista, her face looking a little pale.

“Okay,” Jules whispered, her voice tight. “I didn’t understand a single word of the Korean stuff, but did you hear the names? SM. Cube. Starship. Those are real companies, Krista. Like, the big ones we see on the internet. He was spitting those names out like they were poison.”

She swallowed hard, her manic energy replaced by a nervous, shaky kind of tension, “And he sounded… really fucking scary, honestly. I’ve never heard someone sound that pissed off while talking that fast. He looked like he was about to punch the brick pillar. Whatever his brother is doing, Min-Ho clearly thinks it’s a death wish.”

Jules looked at Krista, her eyes wide with a new kind of realization, “If he’s that stressed about his brother going to the famous companies, the ones with all the money… what the hell does that say about the industry? It makes our little garage audition feel like… I don’t know. Like we’re playing with fire.”

She leaned back against the trophy case, the glass rattling slightly behind her, “Suddenly, the ‘cheap’ look of the Stargate website doesn’t feel like the scariest thing about this anymore. It was the fact that a guy like him, who looked like he had everything, was having a mental breakdown over it.”

“I mean,” Krista started, still whispering, “he did say his brother was doing something reckless. It sounded like he was telling his brother to GO to Cube or Starship. I don’t know much about them, other than they’re, like, medium companies? So, he’s not completely shutting the idea down, just…telling his brother to go anywhere that ISN’T the Big 3. This is exactly what I mean, Jules. We have NO IDEA how Stargate treats its people. What if it’s just as bad as the Big 3?”

Jules bit her lip, her eyes shifting toward the floor. The manic ‘world star’ glow in her eyes had dimmed, replaced by the kind of sobriety that only came from hearing a real person have a breakdown in a language neither of them spoke.

“Right,” Jules whispered, her voice a little hollow. “He was definitely steering him toward the other ones. So it’s not the whole industry that’s a nightmare… just the ‘factory’ ones, maybe?”

She looked up at Krista, her brow furrowed as she tried to wrap her head around the logic of a company she knew nothing about, “I mean, we don’t know anything about Stargate. For all we know, it’s just some guy in an office with a dream, too. Maybe because they’re small, they’d actually… I don’t know, have to be nice to people? Because they can’t afford to lose anyone?”

She gave a small, shaky shrug, her optimism sounding a lot more desperate than it had last night, “But you’re right. We have no idea. We’re just looking at a website with a spinning moon on it. It’s not like they have a Yelp review page for ’How much does this CEO suck?’”

She gripped the straps of her backpack, looking back toward where Min-Ho had been, “But that’s why we need him. If he’s over here having a heart attack about SM and Cube, he probably knows which names are ‘safe’ and which ones are… whatever he was shouting about in Korean. We just have to figure out how to talk to him without Victoria or Tonya breathing down our necks and making us look like losers.”

“Girl, he was telling his brother to GO to Cube, and NOT audition for SM. What the hell are you talking about?” Krista asked, raising an eyebrow. “Anyway, he didn’t look too thrilled to be by Victoria, Tonya, and Maddie. So…MAYBE we can talk to him? But I swear to god, if you mention that we heard him talking to his brother, I WILL strangle you with your Hello Kitty choker tonight.”

Jules reflexively put a hand over her Hello Kitty choker, her eyes wide. She knew Krista well enough to know that wasn’t an empty threat, especially not after a morning this stressful.

“Okay, okay! No mention of the ‘reckless brother’ or the Korean meltdown. I promise!” Jules whispered, her hands up in a ‘surrender’ gesture. “I’ll be the picture of discretion. I’ll just be… I don’t know, a friendly Iowa girl welcoming him to the land of corn and misery.”

She glanced down the hallway, her mind already plotting the next move, “But you’re right, he looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole when Victoria was talking. She probably started explaining the difference between ‘creamy’ and ‘crunchy’ peanut butter or some other stupid American thing. If we just act normal… if we just treat him like a regular human being instead of a ‘project’ or an ‘expensive’ accessory… maybe he’ll actually talk to us.”

The warning bell for their next block rang, a sharp, echoing buzz that made them both jump, “Okay, free period. Courtyard? Or do you think he’s going to hide in the library for the rest of the day to avoid the ‘Royal Court’?”

Jules started walking, her pace quick and expectant, “We just need one opening. One ‘Hey, sorry, my sister is a lot,’ and we’re in. You do the talking, though. My ‘friendly’ voice usually sounds like I’m trying to sell someone a magazine subscription.”

“He might not even have a free—” Krista started, and Min-Ho walked into the cafeteria again, looking confused.

He spotted the two girls and approached them, “Sorry to ask, but, um, can you lot direct me to the,” Krista watched as he glanced down at his schedule, “Home Ec class? This building is…bigger than I’m used to. I was told everything in America was bigger, but I…clearly underestimated how big it actually was. And your passing periods are abysmal. Five minutes, in this place? Outrageous.”

“I, um…” Fuck, Krista thought, I’ve never done the Home Ec class, but…it’s by the choir room, right? She cleared her throat and said, “Let me see your schedule.”

The young man handed her the schedule, and she took it and read it. ‘Room 117,’ yeah, it was right by the choir room, just like she remembered. Finally, she said, “Yeah, um, it’s right next to the choir room. We can show you, my friend and I. Our free period is next, so, we don’t need to be anywhere.”

The boy sighed in relief as Krista handed him the schedule back. “Thank God, you’re a lifesaver.” Then he paused for a moment, looking Krista up and down. “Are you that Victoria girl’s little sister? You look similar.”

Krista froze and looked over at Jules, shooting her a pleading look to help her out.

Jules’s eyes went wide, and she looked like she wanted to burst into a frantic explanation of how different Krista and Victoria were, but she caught Krista’s pleading look and managed to dial it back, though her voice still jumped up an octave, “Yeah! I mean, yes, she is,” Jules said, stepping a little closer and trying to look helpful without looking like a total fangirl. “But she’s way different! Like, the ‘cool’ kind of different. I’m Jules, by the way. And this is Krista. We were just headed that way anyway!”

Jules started walking, gesturing for Min-Ho to follow them into the hallway, her gum snapping with every step, “Don’t worry about Victoria,” Jules added, shooting a side-eye toward the royal table where Victoria was still holding court. “She just thinks everyone needs a personal tour guide. And yeah, the five-minute passing periods are a joke. It’s basically a track meet every time the bell rings.”

As they turned the corner toward the fine arts wing, Jules leaned in a bit, her curiosity getting the better of her despite Krista’s earlier threat, “So, you’re from Seoul, right? That’s like… a massive city. Coming here must be like moving to a different planet. Do they even have Home Ec over there, or are you just here to learn how to make, like, boxed brownies and aprons?”

Min-Ho let out a dry, short laugh that sounded more like a huff of air. “We have similar things, but it’s more… intense. Here, it seems more like a social hour. But I need the credit to graduate, apparently.”

Jules nudged Krista with her elbow, a silent ‘See? He’s talking!’ message that was about as subtle as a car crash, “Room 117 is just past the choir room,” Jules pointed toward a set of heavy wooden doors where the faint sound of a piano was drifting out. “Krista practically lives in the choir room, so she knows this wing better than anyone.”

Krista glared at Jules, a look that very clearly said, ‘Jules, what the fuck?!’ Then she laughed awkwardly and said aloud, “She’s exaggerating, but, um, yeah, just…follow me,” and she led him to the Home Ec class.

That night, when she got home, she sent a short text to her dad.

Krista: Hey, dad. Um, so, Jules and I may be doing something really, REALLY stupid, but, um, can we use your garage?

Dad: Define stupid and then I’ll think about it.

Krista: Um, so, we might be auditioning for a K-Pop Agency and…we need the garage to film our audition videos.

She cringed as she hit ‘send,’ realizing how stupid it sounded, and she fully expected him to say no, but then, his response shocked her.

Dad: Do you understand that if you make it, you will be alone in a completely new country you do not know the language of, at 15?

Krista: Yeah.

Dad: And that you’ll spend your 16th Birthday in April away from family?

No, Krista hadn’t thought about it, and she stiffened up in fear at the realization. She’d be moving from Cedar Rapids to Seoul, possibly alone, and possibly not even allowed to talk to her family on her birthday, if Stargate had rules like that. She bit her lip, then finally texted her dad.

Krista: I hadn’t before, but…I realize that now.

Dad: And you still want to do it?

Krista sat in the darkness of her room for a moment. It was a chance to get away from her mom, from Victoria, all of it. Even though she’d miss her dad, and maybe Jules if they didn’t make it together, it sounded like the best escape ever.

Before she could think too long about it, her fingers tapped along the screen in a response to her dad.

Krista: Yes.

Dad: Then, yes, you can use the garage.

Krista’s heart leapt into her throat and she took a screenshot and sent it to Jules.

Krista: He said yes!!!!!

Jules: YES! Operation: Become Idols is a go! See you Saturday!

Krista: See you Saturday!