Chapter One: Out of the Bubble
I was staring. Not at the ceiling, and not at the cute nails I had fixed just two days ago. I was staring at Simon and Hailey. For a moment, they made me believe again—believe that it could have happened differently for me, that I wasn’t the problem, and that my yang would finally find its yin. They were my version of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. Except, in this case, there is only one person.
I had hesitated. I told myself I knew better, but I went ahead and did it anyway. What if it works this time? What if things are different now? Maybe the timing was just wrong before? I kept making excuses—so many that my friends started to look at me with pity. Ever since then, I decided never to mention anything concerning him again. Instead, I choose to just stare. I'll stare and stare until I start deceiving myself into believing that love could ever find me—
"Milena! Hey, over here!"
A sharp voice snapped the invisible thread of my thoughts. I blinked, the crowded, bustling school cafeteria rushing back into focus. The heavy scent of gourmet paninis and coffee filled the air.
Lexi was waving at me from our usual table near the courtyard windows, her glossy hair bouncing. I pulled my backpack tighter over my shoulder and walked over to join them. This was our circle—a tight clique of six that had survived the treacherous waters of our elite private academy. Three guys, three girls, and enough family wealth between them to fund a minor country.
I took a seat next to Lexi, offering a small smile to the rest of the table. Simon and Hailey had already joined the group, sitting close enough that their shoulders brushed. The other two guys in our clique, Julian and Liam, were leaning over a flyer.
"Finally," Lexi said, sliding a bottle of iced green tea toward me. "We were losing you to the morning lecture fog. You're still human, right? Not an Ivy League-bound robot yet?"
"Working on it," I teased, cracking open the tea. My grades were spotless, my curriculum vitae was stacked, and my sights were locked firmly on the Ivy League. I could solve complex calculus in my sleep, but ask me how to get a guy to like me back, and I completely blanked.
"Good, because you need a break," Julian said, tossing the flyer into the center of the table. "Look at this. Highcrest Academy is hosting a massive collaboration party this weekend. It’s a joint senior bash. And since it’s Friday, we are planning our strategy now."
I looked at the sleekly designed invitation. "A party? You know that's not really my scene. I’ve been to exactly one high school party, guys. I'd rather study."
"Milena, please," Hailey chimed in, leaning across the table with an earnest look. "It's our final year of high school. We are practically out the door. You can't spend your last few months hiding behind textbooks!"
"I'm not hiding," I argued weakly. "I just don't drink like that. I mean, I can drink, but I'm not a drinker. And I definitely don't get drunk."
"Nobody is asking you to get wasted," Liam laughed, throwing an arm over Julian's chair. "We just want you there. It's at the Crestwood Estate. It's going to be huge."
"Come on," Lexi pleaded, nudging my shoulder. "We already worked it all out. Tomorrow is Saturday, so we’re all heading to Hailey's house in the afternoon. Her place is basically a resort anyway. We’ll get dressed there, do our hair, hang out, and then head out together."
As their voices bounced back and forth, finalizing the details of outfits and carpools, I zoned out again. I looked around the table at my friends. They were wealthy, confident, and secure in their lives. And here I was, trapped in my own head.
It’s my last year of high school, I thought to myself. How long am I going to stay locked inside this safe little bubble? How long am I going to let the fear of past 'what-ifs' keep me from actually living?
My own personal Kissing Booth, or any rom-com sequence I’d ever dreamed of, was never going to start unless I actually took a step out into the world. Love wasn't going to miraculously burst through my bedroom door while I was studying for AP exams. I had to give it a chance to find me.
I took a deep breath, interrupting the debate about who was driving which car.
"Okay," I said, a little louder this time. "I'll go."
The table went completely silent for a split second before Lexi let out a dramatic gasp.
"Wait, really?" Hailey beamed.
"Really," I nodded, a genuine spark of nervous excitement fluttering in my chest. "Tomorrow. Hailey's house. Count me in."
