Chapter 1 — The Person He Couldn’t Lose
The cameras loved them.
That was the problem.
On stage, Tawan and Aran were everything people wanted them to be.
Perfect.
Unbreakable.
The pair that made every magazine cover shine.
Their smiles looked effortless. Their chemistry looked natural. Every photograph captured a story of two people who seemed impossible to separate.
And maybe they were.
That was what made everything harder.
Because behind the studio doors, away from the lights and cameras, they were no longer the perfect pair everyone admired.
They were just Tawan and Aran.
Two people who loved each other.
And two people who didn’t know how to stop hurting each other.
“Smile.”
Aran looked up.
Tawan stood in front of him.
His fingers gently adjusted the collar of Aran’s outfit before the photoshoot.
To everyone else, Tawan was flawless.
Calm.
Confident.
Untouchable.
But Aran knew him.
He knew the small changes in his expression.
He knew when Tawan was pretending everything was fine.
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
Aran looked away.
“I’ve been working.”
Tawan’s hand stopped.
“Working?”
“Don’t do this, Tawan.”
There was no anger in Aran’s voice.
Only exhaustion.
Tawan noticed.
His expression softened.
“Can we talk?”
Aran looked at him.
“About what?”
“About us.”
The room became silent.
For a moment, Tawan wasn’t the famous model everyone admired.
He was just someone afraid.
“Let’s have dinner tonight,” Tawan said quietly. “Just us. We can talk properly.”
Aran stared at him.
“You think dinner will fix everything?”
Tawan shook his head.
“No.”
A pause.
“But maybe we can start fixing it.”
Aran gave a small, painful smile.
“You always say that.”
“Because I mean it.”
“No.”
Tawan froze.
Aran looked directly at him.
“You mean it when you’re scared.”
The words stayed between them.
Because they were true.
Tawan loved Aran.
He loved him more than anything.
But his love was mixed with a fear he couldn’t control.
The fear of losing the one person who saw him as more than just a perfect image.
“You think everyone is trying to take me away from you,” Aran whispered.
Tawan stayed quiet.
Because he knew.
Every person who got close to Aran made him nervous.
Every laugh Aran shared with someone else.
Every new friendship.
Every moment where Aran looked happy without him.
It wasn’t because Aran had done anything wrong.
It was because Tawan was afraid.
“I love you,” Tawan said.
Aran’s eyes softened.
“I know.”
“But?”
Aran looked down.
“But you don’t trust me enough.”
Tawan stepped closer.
“That’s not true.”
“It is.”
Aran’s voice shook.
“You trust me. But you don’t trust anyone around me.”
Tawan had no answer.
Aran’s eyes filled with tears, but he refused to let them fall.
“I’m tired, Tawan.”
Those words hurt more than anger.
“I’m tired of proving that I’m not leaving.”
Tawan reached for him.
“Aran…”
But Aran stepped back.
That small distance felt like a wall.
“I don’t want to fight anymore.”
He picked up his bag.
“Aran, wait.”
“Don’t follow me.”
Tawan froze.
“Please.”
Aran looked at him.
His eyes were full of tears.
But his voice was firm.
“Don’t fucking follow me.”
The door closed.
And Tawan was alone.
For a few seconds, he just stood there.
Then his hands started trembling.
The person who could stand in front of thousands of people without fear couldn’t handle one person walking away.
Aran.
A broken laugh escaped him.
Not because anything was funny.
Because he didn’t know what to do with the panic inside him.
His eyes filled with tears.
The perfect model disappeared.
Only Tawan remained.
Someone terrified of losing the person he loved.
---
Aran walked until he found an empty room.
The moment the door closed, his strength disappeared.
He sat down and covered his face.
He wasn’t crying because Tawan didn’t love him.
That was the hardest part.
Tawan loved him.
He knew.
But sometimes love became painful when it came with fear.
A few minutes later, the door opened.
“Aran?”
He looked up.
It was Narin.
His assistant and one of the photographers at the company.
“I came to find you. The shoot starts soon.”
Narin looked at him carefully.
“Are you okay?”
Aran quickly wiped his face.
“I’m fine.”
Narin stared at him.
“No, you’re not.”
Aran looked away.
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
Then Narin quietly sat beside him.
He didn’t push.
He didn’t demand an explanation.
He just stayed.
And somehow, that made Aran’s walls fall apart.
“He loves me.”
Narin listened.
“But I don’t understand him.”
Aran swallowed.
“He’s always afraid someone will take me away.”
His voice became softer.
“I never gave him a reason not to trust me.”
Narin stayed silent.
“I’m still here.”
A tear slipped down Aran’s face.
“I never tried to leave.”
His voice cracked.
“I just want him to understand that he doesn’t have to fight everyone around me.”
Aran looked down.
“I want him to know that loving me doesn’t mean he has to hold on so tightly.”
For the first time that day, Aran stopped pretending.
He leaned forward and hugged Narin.
Not because Narin could replace Tawan.
Not because Aran stopped loving Tawan.
Because he was tired.
And he needed someone to remind him that he wasn’t alone.
The door opened.
Tawan stood there.
He had come back.
He wanted to apologize.
He wanted to tell Aran that he understood.
But he stopped.
Because he saw them.
Aran crying.
Narin comforting him.
Tawan’s expression changed.
His chest tightened.
His hand slowly curled into a fist.
Not because he hated Narin.
Because he hated the fear inside himself.
The fear that someone else could give Aran comfort when Tawan was the reason Aran needed it.
For a moment, nobody moved.
The perfect pair everyone admired stood on opposite sides of the room.
One afraid of losing.
One tired of proving he would stay.
And no camera in the world could capture the truth between them.
