Dream Big

Have you ever noticed that when we are born and start going to kindergarten, everyone tells us to always aim for the stars? To never give up and keep pushing, even when you can’t go on. To always stand your ground. To never let anything discourage you and to follow your dreams. I still remember a poster hanging on the wall in my kindergarten that said: Dream Big.

But then you get to school. And suddenly, everyone starts telling you that it’s not a game anymore. That this is important. This is for the ‘big kids.’ And when you tell them you want to be a doctor, an architect, an actor, a writer, or an astronaut, they tell you: ‘You need to study harder for that.’ ‘That’s a very difficult job.’ ‘That’s not for someone like you.’

As you grow older, the whole world gradually starts telling you that you aren’t good enough. That you’re just one of the herd. That you don’t have what it takes to achieve your goals. And you give in. You settle for what you have and let society decide your future and your plans. Because, after all, you have to fit in. You can’t stay on the sidelines. You have to conform to the expectations of those around you, because that’s what we are all taught to do.

The times we live in feel so strange to me. You have to be unique in some way; you have to stand out. You can’t be ordinary, because that’s boring, that’s a cliché—it’s ridiculous to some and sad to others. But you can’t stand out too much either. You can’t be ‘special.’ You can’t attract too much attention, because then people will either be afraid of you or hate you. You have to find a balance between these two extremes.

Today’s society glorifies being different and unique, yet at the same time, it condemns anything unfamiliar. Anything new. Everyone just wants to stick to what has been around for a long time—to those ‘normal’ kinds of ‘different’ things.

But then there’s me, living at the edge of the world, where nobody my age cares about the same things I do, and no one understands a single word that comes out of my mouth. I tried to fit into various groups in the past. I really tried. But I never lasted long anywhere. I couldn’t pretend to be something I’m not for very long. So I gave up on that, stayed true to who I really am, and kept doing what I actually enjoy. Whenever I tell someone about it, they just say, ‘Well, you can always dream.’ But isn’t that exactly what they taught me as a child?

But then my mother tells me I have to choose between being like her or like my father, because I don’t have any other option, and I get shaken by the reality I was born into.

I walk the streets, scroll through the internet, and everywhere I see rich, famous, popular guys my age, wearing the latest luxury brand clothes, with big muscles and expensive cars, looking perfect and flawless. And then I look in the mirror at my own strange, ugly face and wonder where I went wrong.

Where did I go wrong that I can’t enjoy myself in the company of those popular and well-liked people? Where did I go wrong that I can’t have fun at a concert where depressing, lifeless music plays, and everyone just sways mindlessly from side to side while puffing on vapes? Why does it feel like people nowadays don’t even know how to have fun, and everyone is just focused on the worst things in the world?

Lately, though, I’ve been realizing that I don’t really care about any of it anymore. I’m trying to work hard to get into a university in another country and finally enter a world of people I actually understand. At least, I hope so. I don’t know what kind of world this is that I live in, but I know I won’t let it discourage me from my dreams by trying to reprogram me into just another machine with no ideas and no plans. I admire people who managed to escape this crowd of mindless characters, and I am going to break free from it too.