Chapter 1: Pull
There’s something about seeing your friend's passion about finding love, that makes me want to open myself up to the opportunity and test water again. The glee and happiness radiating off her, bending me to her every word like I am too falling in love with her.
Lydia, one of my close’s friends, is dancing in her chair as she talks about a man she met at the grocery store almost a month ago. Her perfectly manicured fingers curled the red of her hair around while holding her Martini in the other.
Her six-foot tall prince helped her by grabbing an item from the top shelf. His chivalry caught her eye before his looks did. She couldn’t stop talking about how attractive he and his other tall friends were. Showing us photos that she had taken of him when he wasn't looking. She is right, he is handsome.
The moment they exchanged number, they would talk every night on the phone with him for hours until they would fall asleep and going on quick dates every chance they could get.
“Oh, Sel, I wish you were there with us! He was so handsome and sweet! Right guys?” Lydia asked the rest of our friend group. I felt a pang of jealousy watching as my friends all spoke at once talking about her new lover and his friends. Seems like they all met him besides me. “He invited all of us to his lodge at the end of this month. It’s near Apollo Cliffs. His friends will be there too and ready to mingle. Please tell me you’re going? ” she grabbed onto my arm pouting. Her perky red bottom lip quivering at me hoping I would jump for joy at this news.
“you’re telling me, you guys met this man and his friends at the grocery store less than a month ago and he invited all of us to go to his lodge with his other men friends in the middle of the forest… and all of you guys are okay with that?” I look between Lydia and the rest of our group concerned. One by one, each of their confident smile turn into questionable grief. “I’m sorry to burst everyone’s bubble but that sounds dangerous. You don't know their intentions.” I say uncertainly. My fingers squeezing each other under the table as I get uncomfortable from their annoyed silence.
“No, you guys, I think Selah is right.” Lydia whines and throws back her Martini. The rest of the group mutters how I ruin everyone’s hopes and dreams to finding their perfect husband.
My heart squeezes. I hate letting them down and dragging them back to reality. The reality check happens almost every three months when they plan trips. Last trip, I had to remind all four of them that they work and can’t impulsively go to a resort because they have projects due. I got booed by them for a week. Literally, every day they would send me thumbs down and a photo of someone yelling ‘BOO’.
“Okay guys, if we’re gonna go, we must have plans A-D just in case anything happens. We can’t split up and have to communicate. No ‘keeping things to myself to protect feelings’ stuff. Understand?”
I finally take my eyes off my glass of water and look at them. They immediately perk up, nodding their heads and began planning their weapons of choice for ‘what if’ situations. I smile in amusement with every sip of my drink knowing how easy it is to make them happy.
My friends were the type to lighten up the room they walked in. Their beauty was just as majestic and pleasant to look at. Their high spirits bringing in new people to meet wherever they go. Unfortunately for me, meeting new people was always hard.
Being told by family that my attractiveness lured in many but my blunt words pushed them away just as fast. My aura only attracting the broken and the needed.
I tried to fix myself for the liking of others; smiling all the time and chuckling when it's not needed, but the energy of it would run out quickly. Never understanding how my friends had the strength to want to entice others daily, striking conversations with everyone they crossed paths with.
Capturing my reflection from the dripping condensation that fell off the bottle of Rosé. Cringing at the lack of make up I decided to wear. My long wavy brown hair untamed from the absence of oil I forgot to put on after a shower. But today was not about me, so I ignored my insecurities for the time being.
Today we were celebrating Abigail's new nursing internship. She considered it an upgrade from working as a child care worker. Although I was a child care worker myself, I rooted for her upgrade.
The bar was busy on a Thursday night. People bumping into us as we sat near the back corner to avoid them in the first place. Music blaring over the chattering and laughter of people. Men approaching the table to only be shooed away by Esther. Free drinks making rounds every couple of minutes, but never for me.
My resting face usually intimidating for the men in our age group. Sometimes the one's who are truly interested, over come it, but even then I lose them with bad conversation starters.
Halfway through the night I was struck with the sensation as if someone was watching us. I know that this group can get lots of stares already, but this feeling was stronger than usual.
The string of my soul was being tugged at by stranger I couldn't find in the crowded bar. The usual glances were not enough for me to notice or give a second thought to besides the one that was already overcoming me.
after searching for a couple of minutes, green orbs observed us from the front of the bar. Tilting my body to get a better view of the person, only from people to keep getting in the way. Looking past Abigail’s blonde hair, a four of men quietly drank together. Not one person is facing our way except the green eyes that watched us intently. They sat at an angle making it impossible to make out a face. Those bright eyes shining in the dim bar as a glowed pathway.
Our gaze never faltering as we watched one another. The only movement coming from them is when they brought their glass to up to drink. Even then, they still peered over at our table.
My curiosity wanting the person in the way to slightly move so I can get a better. The warmth of the gaze wrapped me like a light blanket on my cold body. Were they looking at me or at one of my friends?
Hoping time doesn't hold me hostage as I wait for the reveal of the face I've been patiently wanting to see. Secretly watching for a while when they all got up simultaneously to leave the bar.
His large figure makes his way out the door, stopping midway to turn his head halfway to look back slightly. His lips curving into a smile before he walking out completely. Did I just get caught?
“Sel, are you okay?” Eliana grabs onto my sleeve. Everyone at the table side eyeing each other and then looking past Abigail's head to see what I was staring at. “I felt like if I didn’t grab you, you would lose yourself in your trance. Did you see someone you know? Was it Mark?”
I notice that I’m standing in front of Esther now and away from my seat. I quickly rush around the round table and sit down at my seat.
“Sorry, I don’t know what got into me. I just wanted to see who was staring at us.” My eyes darting back and forth from them and the exit.
“Girl no, you looked like you were about to holler booty out of here to follow who ever that was.” Eliana exclaimed. “Who did you see?”
“I saw absolutely no one I knew. I just saw these tall guys leave. But it was definitely not Mark.” I cover my face with my hands to hide my embarrassment. The separation of the trance made me feel weaker and dizzy. What is happening to me? “I think I just need to go home and rest. Worked a little too hard today.”
Mark. Mark. My chest aching just thinking about him. Once was someone who I loved dearly. I would've done anything for him to just want me like the way I wanted him. A man who pretended to love me when it benefited him for his own game. Wishing that loving him, didn't hurt this much. If only I noticed earlier that he was sleeping around with my friend Becca.
I sorrowfully looked at my friends before trading my water for the bottle of Rosé. They all screamed no and fought me over drinking the bottle.
“Let me pay the tab and take you home. I'm tired too.” Abigail grabbed her keys and brown purse. Agreeing, I went around kissing everyone’s cheek goodbye until next time.
Once in the car, I grab at my head trying to figure out what could’ve led me to get up unknowingly. “Hey, it’s okay. Have you been sleeping properly these days?” her long glittery black nails tapping on her steering wheel.
“Yeah, I think. Everything is blending in, but I feel fine.” I sighed softly. Looking out the window hoping to see those green eyes again. “I think I just need a break.”
“We all need a break. Good thing we have a vacation coming up soon.” She giggled excitedly in her seat. She turned on her car and sped out of the lot. Creating space between me and the laced curiosity.
“Too good to be true, don’t you think?” I questioned. Grabbing my phone to instinctively check the time. I sighed loudly as I noticed that it was two in the morning and I have work in a couple of hours. Tired teacher tomorrow I guess.
“Not really. I met Lydia's partner and I did not catch a single bad vibe. Plus it will be a fun summer week break. Think of it as a quick get away from screaming pooping children.” She clicks on her classical music and slaps my phone away. I grunt in agreement, hoping it will be safe and worth it.
Hopefully.
