Chapter 1. Who Am I?
Pain. As if someone had spent the entire night trying to beat her brains out through her skull. So intense that the slightest movement, the shallowest breath, and a hellish flame of agony would ignite inside you. And within it, you tried to balance on the fine edge between life and death.
I don’t want to die...— the thought flashed through her mind, but even it made the infernal pain worse.
No movement. Breathe as slowly and as rarely as possible. How much time had passed since that hell began? Unknown. But at last, the pain started to recede. Her breathing normalised; her fingers clenched hesitantly, testing whether a new wave of pain would follow the motion. But nothing happened. Frowning slightly, the girl finally opened her eyes, momentarily blinded by the bright light. And then she saw a grey ceiling, covered in cracks.
Where am I?— was the first question.
Slowly rising from the bed, the girl massaged her temple with her fingers and glanced at the mirror standing beside the bed. For a while, she stared at her reflection, as if trying to remember or recognise the one looking back at her through the glass surface.
Who am I?..— came the next question.
Cold fingers touched her pale cheek; brown eyes studied her own reflection, as if seeing a stranger. Rising from the bed, she straightened her straight black hair, which fell to her shoulder blades. Her scrutiny of the reflection and the room was interrupted by a knock at the door, followed by a low, spine-chilling growl that had nothing human about it.
Beasts don’t know how to knock...
The doorknob turned downward and creaked open. And at what she saw, the girl couldn’t hold back a scream of genuine terror. A black creature, taller than an ordinary man, was staring at her. A viscous, black substance dripped down its twisted body, vaguely human-like, but every part of it was broken. From its empty eye sockets, something white began to ooze. A crooked, unnaturally wide grin bared sharp teeth.
— Leila... — another horrific growl, through which it was difficult to make out human speech.
The girl stepped back. The air caught in her throat, and everything before her eyes began to swim. The monster lunged toward her, triggering a fresh wave of panic that completely clouded her mind. Her trembling legs took another step back — and then she fell. She didn’t even have time to register what she’d tripped over before a sharp pain shot through the back of her head from the impact. A dull crack echoed, a white flash before her eyes, replaced by darkness and an unnatural silence.
Opening her eyes, the girl sat up sharply in bed, breathing heavily. Her whole body trembled with fine shivers, and her heart pounded against her ribs as if trying to break through them and escape, hiding under the bed. Reflexively, her hand reached for the back of her head — but she felt nothing. No wound, no bump from the impact. Only a phantom pain that was rapidly fading away. Turning her head toward the mirror, she met the gaze of a girl with a bloodless face, eyebrows raised, eyes wide and filled with fear.
— A nightmare? Did I dream that? — the knock at the door made her flinch and grip the blanket tighter. — No! Don’t come in! — she screamed at the door in a trembling voice.
— Leila... — she heard the same growling voice from behind the door, which made her stomach twist and nausea rise to her throat. — Take your medicine.
The girl quickly scanned the room, not lingering on anything, until she noticed a glass jar with small white pills standing on the nightstand. Her trembling hand reached for it; after not opening the lid on the first try, she took out one pill and threw it into her mouth, swallowing with effort, holding back the urge to vomit.
— Can I come in? — asked a gentle voice from behind the door, which had nothing in common with that growl from a moment ago.
— Y-yes... — her attempt to steady her voice failed.
The doorknob turned downward as if in slow motion. The disgusting creak struck her ears, and Leila froze, her eyes fixed in horror on the movement of the wooden barrier. From the doorway, a young-looking woman was looking at her, but the serious, blue eyes and the fine wrinkles around them betrayed that she was not as young as she appeared at first glance. Honey-coloured wavy hair with incredible volume was loose and fell to her waist. As she stared intently at the woman of extraordinary beauty, Leila didn’t notice how she had come closer.
— How are you? — the gentle voice seemed to envelop the girl, granting her calm after the hellish nightmare. Leila was about to answer, but the woman leaned in, peering at her with piercing eyes. — Did you forget me again?
Leila flinched at the question. The thought that she was being read like an open book was somewhat unsettling. Pressing her lips together, the girl simply nodded, to which the woman opposite smiled such a tender smile that warmth appeared in Leila’s chest — warming her heart and soothing her soul.
— My name is Airen. Your guardian. I make sure you continue your treatment. — The woman straightened, folding her hands before her. Her movements were so smooth and elegant that Leila involuntarily watched every single one. — Today we have a trip to the doctor scheduled, so get yourself ready. We’ll have a bite on the way to the hospital — I’ll make you a sandwich. — Airen headed for the exit, but suddenly stopped and looked over her shoulder at the girl. — It’s cold outside, dress warmly, alright?
— Alright. — Leila nodded, and the woman smiled and left the room, leaving the girl alone with her thoughts.
Rising from the bed, Leila glanced at the medicine jar, which she was still clutching tightly in her hand. Turning it over and examining the unremarkable pills, she sighed quietly, then carefully placed the jar back on the nightstand. Approaching the time-worn wardrobe with a broken leg, she slowly opened the door. But Leila’s caution didn’t help. The hinges gave way; a crash echoed through the room, but she managed to catch the door and prevent it from falling completely. Propping the piece of wood against the wall, she turned her gaze to the contents of the wardrobe.
Frowning, Leila pulled out some rags that barely resembled clothing. Torn cast-offs of what had once been decent attire. Her hands began sifting through the grey rags, trying to find at least something she could wear outside without blushing. The image of Airen appeared before her eyes. Her elegant dress, accentuating her slender figure with beautiful curves. That outfit was nowhere close to what Leila was holding in her hands now. An unpleasant smell hit her nose. Sniffing, the girl brought the rags closer to her nose, then quickly turned away, grimacing.
God, were these stripped off a corpse and brought to me?
Tossing the stinking, torn clothes toward the broken door, Leila wiped her palms on her night shorts. With a heavy sigh, she decided to ask Airen for help. Surely her normal clothes were just in the wash, and this old wardrobe wasn’t hers at all. Leaving the room, the girl looked around hesitantly. She had no idea where to go. Hearing sounds coming from a half-open door, Leila made her way down the hallway toward the source. She peered through the gap and saw Airen standing by the kitchen table, slicing ham for a sandwich.
— Airen... — the girl opened the kitchen door, drawing her guardian’s attention. — I can’t find any normal clothes...
— Ah, you don’t remember where they are. Come, I’ll show you. — Quickly wiping her hands on a cloth, the woman headed toward Leila. Something in her behaviour was different from how she had acted before. Her face was grim, and the cloth had become... stained with something red when she wiped her hands on it. — Leila. — A harsh voice called out, as if warning that any misstep would cost her dearly — that her already fragile mind would be shattered beyond repair.
Leila slowly raised her gaze and cried out, recoiling backward. Airen’s beautiful face was now disfigured with ragged wounds, from which blood flowed, staining her dress and the floor. At the sight, the girl’s breathing quickened. A battle between fear and common sense began in her mind. Fear screamed that she needed to run as far as possible from this cursed house and hide where no one would find her. But the rational side of her consciousness remembered the pills on her nightstand. Springing from the spot, Leila ran into her room and grabbed the jar with a trembling hand. Quickly swallowing a pill, she dug her palms into the edge of the nightstand, staring with wide eyes at the wood grain, trying to calm her frantic heartbeat and steady her erratic breathing.
— Leila? — hearing the alarmed voice, the girl closed her eyes and crouched down, covering her face with her palms. Airen gently placed a hand on Leila’s shoulder, kneeling beside her. — How are you? — seeing that the girl only shook her head slightly, Airen pursed her lips and quickly left the room.
After a while, the guardian returned, holding a stack of clothes. Placing them on the bed, she approached Leila, who hadn’t moved from her spot. Taking the girl by the shoulders, Airen carefully lifted her to her feet and sat her on the bed.
— Let me help you get dressed, and we’ll hurry to the doctor, alright? — waiting for Leila’s nod, the woman began to undress her and help her into clean, warm clothes. Thick, dark trousers; a warm khaki sweater; black boots; and a short burgundy coat.
Leila didn’t even notice how Airen had changed her, and they were already riding in an old, battered taxi. The girl looked out the window and saw bright yellow leaves on the trees, happy people going about their business. A group of guys in an alley were cheerfully discussing something, laughing almost to tears. Life in the city was bustling, full of joy and happiness. And watching all of this, Leila involuntarily began to smile herself.
The car stopped near a large hospital building. Quickly stepping out of the taxi, the smell of wet asphalt immediately hit her nostrils. Leila surveyed the building and followed her guardian, who walked ahead confidently, knowing the route like the back of her hand. On the grounds and inside the hospital, it was very clean and bright, smelling of medicine. First, they took off their shoes, placing them in locked cubbies, and put on special disposable slippers. People in white coats walked through the corridors; in some open wards, patients were visible, with nurses setting up IV drips or checking their pupils. The place left a very positive impression, and the hope that she would be cured grew stronger with every passing second.
After waiting in the corridor for some time, they were finally admitted to the doctor’s office. Inside, Leila first noticed a large, dark-brown desk cluttered with papers, writing utensils, folders, and a beautiful hourglass. The way the grains of sand fell — the top portion growing smaller and smaller while the bottom grew larger — was mesmerising.
— Leila. — Called a low, slightly hoarse male voice. The girl looked up from the hourglass and only now noticed the man sitting behind the desk. Leila froze, staring at his unusual appearance. The man’s skin was sickly pale; his long, straight white hair was tied in a low ponytail; his features were sharp, and behind the round lenses of his glasses, pale-blue eyes looked at the girl with a slight squint. White, straight eyebrows and long white eyelashes.
Could it be... an albino?— the thought flashed through her mind, as she looked with surprise at the man’s appearance, which seemed magical to Leila. When the man shifted his gaze to Airen, and under the lamplight his irises took on a violet hue, the girl exhaled slightly in admiration but managed to collect herself in time.
— Again? — the doctor asked the guardian. Receiving a nod in response, the man sighed heavily and massaged the bridge of his nose with his fingers, then looked carefully at Leila again and gestured toward the soft sofa opposite him. Waiting for them to sit, the man spoke. — My name is Taylor. I’m your doctor, so I ask that you answer all questions truthfully and don’t hesitate to tell me everything that troubles you. Agreed?
— Alright. — Leila agreed, unable to tear her gaze away from the doctor’s appearance, at which he smiled slightly and shook his head.
— Every time you react the same way. So. — Folding his fingers on the desk, Taylor stared intently at Leila. — Is anything troubling you, worrying you?
— Yes... I see terrible things... — Leila recounted her nightmare in detail, and how she had seen her guardian wounded and bleeding. The doctor listened attentively, never interrupting or stopping her. Airen looked at the girl with undisguised shock, making Leila shrink slightly.
— I’ll prescribe a new medication schedule now. I’ll have to increase the dosage. — The doctor took a form and began writing something on it. Leila tensed, pressing her lips together.
— Is it that bad? — a hesitant question escaped the girl, causing Taylor to look up at her, stopping his writing.
— I’ll be honest with you, Leila. — The doctor twirled his pen in his hand. — The situation is not pleasant. You’re not losing your memory for the first time. And each time, your episodes become more frequent and more severe.
— More severe?
— Last time, you told me you were seeing terrifying emotions in people. Unnatural ones that frightened you. You also saw a razor as a toothbrush, and so on. And before that, you only complained about frightening shadows and silhouettes darting past you. No monsters, no blood — none of that existed, do you understand?
Having listened to the doctor, Leila lowered her helpless gaze to her hands, which she clasped on her knees. Hearing these words was difficult; each word morally destroyed her hope of salvation from this hell. A terrible thought crept into her mind: what would happen after the next memory loss? Would she stop being able to tell who was human? Would the pills stop helping even temporarily? Would she herself cease to be human and become the monster she had seen in her nightmare?
— Should we change the medication again? — Airen asked anxiously, to which the doctor shook his head.
— This is the only one that suits her in this situation. If the new dosage doesn’t help, I’ll have to admit Leila to the hospital under constant supervision — until she gets better. — Having finished writing the new schedule and dosages on the form, as well as what to exclude from her diet and what to add, the man handed the sheet to Airen. — If the situation worsens, bring her here immediately. Otherwise, routine check-up in a week. — Taylor turned his worried gaze to Leila, then smiled, gently squeezing her shoulder in a gesture of support. — The main thing is to be strong, follow the diet, and take your medication on time. I’ll do everything in my power to cure you.
Leila gave a strained smile and thanked the doctor, then dejectedly followed her guardian. Getting into the car, Leila noticed some of her personal details on the form, including her age. Twenty-two years old. Right now, she could be living an ordinary life. Working, walking, dating. But instead, she had to survive.
Leila didn’t notice when she arrived home. Lost in thought, she headed straight to her room. At her guardian’s request to take her medicine now, the girl merely hummed in agreement, then locked the door. Taking the jar in her hands, she climbed into bed, sitting against the wall with her knees pulled to her chest. Twirling the glass vial in her hand, examining the dull-looking pills, Leila sighed heavily. Her hand covered the metal lid; a short click sounded.
— I wouldn’t recommend taking them that often.
Hearing a beautiful male voice, Leila flinched and quickly looked up. Before her stood a young man. Fear awakened, beginning to freeze every movement. Who was he? And how did he get here, if just a minute ago she had been completely alone? Swallowing the lump in her throat, Leila took out one pill.
He’s just another hallucination.— She reassured herself inwardly.
— I’m not a hallucination.
The pill in her hand stopped at her lips. Leila looked up at the young man again. He really didn’t resemble the hallucinations she had seen before. Too handsome for a monster. His ash-brown hair was of medium length, symmetrically parted on both sides. Broad eyebrows, expressive blue eyes that seemed to look straight into her soul. Thin lips and a slight bump on his nose.
— Who are you? — Leila stared at the young man intently, and he smiled in response.
— Your guide in this temporal anomaly.
— Who? — Leila frowned.
— A guide. — The stranger repeated calmly.
— In what?
— Haven’t you realised you’re in a time loop? — the young man raised an eyebrow.
— Wasn’t that just an ordinary nightmare? — Leila’s body tensed with strain.
— A dream that repeated itself in reality, down to the last detail, after death? Are you really that naive?
— Only the knock repeated.
— With the same interval, the same volume, the same voice from the monster, and the same words. — Seeing the girl’s confusion, the young man continued. — Leila, I’m the most real thing out of everything you see and hear. Trust me, those pills aren’t as good as they seem.
— And what are you offering me? To go mad from my own visions? — Leila looked at the young man, lost.
— I can help you break out of the loop. You need to complete a few tasks, and then not only will the loop disappear, but so will all your hallucinations.
— Are you telling the truth right now?
— I don’t know how to lie. — The young man’s lips stretched into a charming smile.
— What’s your name?
— Deimos.
— What kind of tasks? — Leila asked hesitantly, putting the pill back into the jar and closing the lid. She placed the pills back on the nightstand.
— First, we need to get an amulet that will help get rid of the anomaly. Without it, nothing will work. But it’s located in an abandoned shop in the Cursed Court. That’s what they call the criminals’ territory.
— You want me to walk into the lion’s den and stick my hand in its mouth? — the question came out too harsh and sharp, but Deimos didn’t seem bothered.
— You should only fear death because you’ll have to start all over again. Other than that, you’ll manage. I’ll be right there beside you. I’ll help with everything, don’t worry.
— Alright... — Leila sighed, looking away and massaging her temple, which had started to ache from the constant tension and intense stress.
— Great, then we’ll head out closer to evening, once it starts to get dark. That way, there’s a better chance of sneaking in unnoticed. And wear black clothes. — Deimos said, and with a wave goodbye, he dissolved into the air like smoke.
— Wait! — but the young man was already gone. A knock came at the door, and Leila flinched in surprise.
— Leila, come eat. You’ve been hungry since morning. — Airen’s voice came through.
— Yes, coming...
Scanning the room, Leila headed for the exit. Her mind was consumed by the mysterious young man and his task. Finding herself in the kitchen, the girl sat down at the table, thanking her guardian for the food. The cool metal of the fork was pleasant against her fingers. Leila looked at her plate and pressed her lips together. Omelette with mushrooms. Eggs made her nauseous, and she simply hated mushrooms. The perfect repulsive combo. The girl carefully lifted her gaze to Airen, who was eating calmly, staring at an open book on the table beside her plate.
Does she really not know I can’t eat this? Or did she do it on purpose?
— I don’t want to sound rude, but is there anything else to eat? The omelette is making me nauseous, sorry. — The girl spoke carefully, not wanting to hurt or offend the woman.
— But you love mushroom omelettes. — Airen’s gaze fixed on Leila. — If you’re feeling nauseous right now, I can offer you chicken soup. Would you like some?
— Yes, thank you... — Leila lowered her gaze.
Did I really love this before? Then why do I feel differently now? The mere smell of eggs already makes me nauseous.
The plate of untouched food before her disappeared and was replaced by a new one with aromatic, steaming soup. With an awkward smile, Leila looked at her guardian and thanked her again, this time taking a spoon and dipping it into the soup. It smelled wonderful, and it tasted just as good.
— Mmm, Airen, this is simply delicious. — The girl said sincerely, continuing to eat.
— I’m glad you like it, even though you used to hate soups. Though tastes do change over time. — The woman replied, then returned to her own meal, lowering her gaze to the text of her book.
Leila shot a quick glance at Airen, then stared back at her plate. The strangenesses kept pursuing the girl, stretching her nerves tighter and tighter, like a string. How many more strangenesses could they endure before snapping? After finishing the soup and thanking her guardian once again, Leila cleared the table and washed the dishes, sending Airen off to rest and read.
Until evening, the girl managed to give herself a mini-tour of the house, peeking into every room and every drawer. In her own room, Leila decided to tidy up and bring a couple of her belongings from Airen’s room, choosing predominantly black and grey colours. Placing on the neatly made bed the clothes she planned to wear for the amulet expedition, Leila stared thoughtfully into space.
— What are you thinking about?
Leila flinched at the unexpected voice in the empty room. She looked at the young man behind her, who was watching her attentively, his head tilted to the side. There was something animalistic about him — like a creature toying with its prey for amusement.
— Why ask when you can just read my thoughts? And stop sneaking up on me!
— Don’t be so jumpy — I don’t bite. — Deimos chuckled.
— I get startled from surprise, not because I think you bite.
— Then I’ll just appear right in front of you. — Seeing the girl frown and slightly twist her lips, Deimos continued. — What? How would you like me to appear? With a performance?
— I don’t know... I’ll think about what works better.
— Well, think away. As for reading minds — I don’t like poking into people’s heads. There’s too much... unnecessary stuff in there.
— But you poked into mine. — Leila reminded him, crossing her arms over her chest.
— I was curious what you’d think when you first saw me. — Seeing Leila open her mouth to say something, Deimos raised his palm, stopping her. — I won’t promise I won’t ever go into your head again.
— Why not?!
— Leila, is everything alright? — the girl heard Airen’s voice from behind the door, followed by a creak, and the worried woman appeared in the doorway. — Were you talking to someone?
— Me? — Leila shifted her gaze from her guardian to the young man, who waved at her with a smile, then back to the woman, who was looking only at Leila. — No one. Just chatting with myself.
— If you feel like talking, you can come to me.
— Thank you, but I... — Leila noticed the book in Airen’s hands and quickly continued, — I’m just coming up with a plot for a story, trying to act out a dialogue.
— Ah, creativity is good. You can tell me what you came up with later. — Airen smiled; her previously tense shoulders relaxed, and the woman glanced around. — You tidied up your room? I’m glad to see you have the energy for your own things.
— Yes, I’ll definitely tell you. Thank you for your care, Airen. — The woman nodded at Leila’s words and closed the door. Waiting until the retreating footsteps faded completely, the girl turned her gaze to Deimos. The young man was grinning widely, pressing his fist to his mouth to hold back laughter. — You find this funny?
— You should have seen your face — your confusion was simply wonderful.
Leila turned away from her guide, focusing on the clothes laid out on the bed. Her peripheral vision caught a small, dark silhouette — as if a low, hunched creature had darted past. The girl tensed and quickly turned toward the creature. But there was no one there. Her heart began to beat faster, and the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. Deimos’s amusement faded, and he glanced at the door where the girl was now looking.
— What’s wrong? — the young man stepped closer, as if to show he was there and would protect her.
— Something ran past there. — After a moment, Leila answered in an alarmed voice.
— There was no one there. You imagined it. Get ready — we need to move out soon.
— Alright... — Leila glanced at the young man and frowned slightly. — Are you just going to stand there?
— What?
— I need to change.
— So change. — The young man replied, as if he genuinely didn’t understand what the problem was with him being there.
— I’m not changing with you watching.
— Oh, I forgot humans are so modest. If you can’t see me, would that make you feel better?
— What matters to me is thatyoudon’t seeme. — Leila hissed, wanting to raise her voice but afraid Airen would hear her again.
— Got it, I’ll just turn around then. — Deimos turned his back to Leila, and she frowned.
— And what were you planning to do before that? — Leila began changing quickly.
— Just become invisible to you.
— I see. — The girl’s body tensed as she pulled on black jeans and a hoodie. Her mind couldn’t quite grasp how powerful the being currently standing with his back to her really was. It was frightening. — Who are you? — Leila asked when she was fully dressed.
— Your guide, name’s Deimos — already forgotten? — he said with mockery in his voice, still standing with his back to the girl.
— I’m human. — Leila walked around the young man and stood in front of him. — But who are you?
— ... — Deimos was silent, staring intently at the girl’s face. Leila squinted slightly — was he really thinking that long about what to answer? — I don’t know how to explain it to you. I call myself a guide.
— What, you don’t know yourself?
Deimos frowned, turning his head to the side. A shadow fell over his face, and his blue eyes turned cold as ice. Unconsciously, Leila took a step back. Questions surfaced in her mind. Why was he helping her? What if it was just out of pity? And what would happen to her if she angered him? Swallowing the lump in her throat, Leila decided to change the subject.
— We should probably head out now, right? Is that shop far?
— Not really. About fifteen minutes’ walk. — The answer wasn’t long in coming. Deimos smiled again, but this time somehow strangely. There was none of that mischief in his eyes; the smile didn’t reach them, which remained just as icy, and from that gaze, a chill spread through Leila’s body.
— Let’s go?
Receiving a nod in response, Deimos headed for the exit of the room. Leila started to follow, but hesitated. Her gaze stopped on the jar of pills. Without thinking long, the girl took the vial and hid it in her pocket, then hurried after the young man. Passing through the spacious living room, where Airen sat in an armchair reading a book, Leila paused in the doorway.
— Airen, — waiting for the woman to look up at her, Leila continued. — I’m going for a walk? I took my pills with me. — The girl showed the medicine jar.
— It’ll be dark soon. Maybe tomorrow morning?
— I want to take them before bed, to help me fall asleep easier.
— Then I’ll come with you. — Airen placed her pen between the pages and closed the book, rising from the armchair.
— No, you don’t have to. — Leila hurried to stop her, raising her hands in front of her as if that could freeze her guardian in place. — I want to be alone, to think more about the plot for my story.
— I don’t want to let you go alone.
— I promise I’ll stay near the house — I won’t go far. — Leila looked at the woman with pleading eyes and pressed her palms together at her chest. — Please.
— Alright... — Airen sighed heavily. — You’ve become too independent lately. I hope that’s for the better. Just, please, be careful.
— Thank you, I will. I’ll be back soon. — Leila said with a smile and quickly headed for the exit, before Airen could change her mind. Outside, Deimos was waiting for her, leaning his back against the fence bars, arms crossed over his chest.
— I thought you’d slip past quietly.
— I don’t want to make Airen worry if she notices I’ve disappeared.
— But you lied so easily about staying near the house. Humans never cease to amaze me.
— It was a...
— A white lie? — Deimos interrupted, rolling his eyes. — Yeah, I’ve heard that one. Only no lie ever brings any good. You’re just trying to soothe your conscience — if you have one, of course.
Leila said nothing. She walked behind Deimos, watching his confident stride and straight back. People walked around them, but the girl didn’t really care. All her thoughts were about the mysterious being — the guide, who couldn’t even answer the question of who he was. Just like Leila couldn’t answer it.
Who am I? A person who’s sick with something. But what else can I say about myself? Nothing. Who was I in the past, before the memory loss? Before the illness?— Leila sank into her thoughts, not even noticing how she had already found herself in a dark alley.
Goosebumps ran down her spine. The darkness pressed down on her, making her imagination play cruel tricks, distorting the silhouettes of objects and turning them into monsters. Her breathing became ragged. The barely visible silhouette of her guide loomed ahead, like a ghost. It felt as if there wasn’t enough air; Leila sensed danger from all sides.
But Deimos is right there. If something were threatening me, he’d say so... right?
They emerged onto a dimly lit, grimy, and empty street. Walking behind her guide, Leila kept glancing around and flinching at every rustle. And then she heard footsteps behind her. Distinct, heavy, hurried. Stopping breathing for a moment, Leila looked back over her shoulder — and her eyes widened in horror. Behind her walked a terrifying, tall creature with long arms that dragged along the asphalt behind it. Its large head hung down on a broken, elongated neck. From its empty eye sockets, black fluid oozed out, and something was writhing in there... maggots. Grey skin was torn in many places, exposing raw flesh. And where hair should have been, there was nothing. Literally nothing — not even a skull. Leila could see the brain, which somehow hadn’t fallen out of the dangling head.
The stench of rotting flesh hit her nostrils. So revolting that the girl felt nauseous. The monster quickened its pace; its intentions were clear — it was advancing straight toward her. Leila wanted to bolt, panic seized her mind, but then memories of past hallucinations surfaced in her consciousness. With trembling hands, Leila pulled out the pills, continuing to walk forward at a brisk pace. Her legs were giving way.
— Don’t drink it, just run! — Deimos shouted, but Leila was too frightened. She didn’t want to run, panic, and feel that fear for a long time afterward. The pill could give her the peace she craved. — Run, you idiot! — she heard him yell before she threw the pill into her mouth and quickly swallowed it on the move.
Walking a bit further on trembling legs, Leila looked back again. The monster was gone. Instead, a young man was hurrying toward her, holding a small bouquet of wildflowers in his hands. Slightly dishevelled black hair, light, kind eyes. He was breathing heavily. Leila exhaled in relief. It was just a simple hallucination, and there was no danger. This flower boy had such a pleasant appearance and such a friendly face that the girl involuntarily relaxed.
— Miss, wait. — The stranger asked. His voice was so innocent and soft that Leila couldn’t help but smile.
Was he really hurrying after me just to give me this bouquet?
The girl stopped and even took a couple of steps toward the young man. The stranger came closer, blushing slightly, averted his gaze, and extended the bouquet to her. Leila smiled sweetly and sincerely thanked the young man — when suddenly a sharp pain pierced her abdomen. Exhaling, she looked down. The flower stems had vanished into her stomach. Her vision blurred, filled with static, and now instead of flowers she saw a knife disappearing into her belly. Stopping breathing, Leila looked up and saw a horrific, crooked grin baring rotten teeth. The previously sweet young man had become different. Dishevelled dirty hair, a mad stare that looked at her without blinking, drinking in the victim’s last emotion. Not a trace of the sweet appearance remained.
Gasping, Leila staggered. The psychopath twisted the knife in her stomach, causing hellish pain. The scream caught in her throat, her legs buckled, and she collapsed onto the wet asphalt. The killer loomed over her, raising the knife again. Second blow, third, fourth. And then — darkness.
Jerking her eyes open, Leila sat up in bed and clutched her stomach, breathing heavily. Tears streamed from her eyes, her whole body trembled and convulsed with retching urges. The pain in her stomach pursued her, refusing to let go. Leila lay on the bed in her room and covered her face with her palms, no longer able to hold back the sobs. Her shoulders shook with every whimper. The terror from the encounter with the psychopath hadn’t faded. A knock came at the door. Leila remembered that now she would see a monster — and she didn’t want that at all right now.
— Don’t come in. — Her voice trembled, but the girl made every effort to sound as calm as possible.
— Leila, take your medicine. — The growling voice from behind the door spoke. Leila looked at the pill jar with tear-filled eyes, and her stomach twisted, the nausea growing stronger. — Can I come in?
— No. I don’t want to see anyone right now. — Leila lay back down on the bed, curling into a ball and hugging herself.
— Alright... we have a trip to the doctor scheduled for today. Dress warmly, and we’ll leave in twenty minutes, alright? — Through the growling, the girl made out the words.
— Yes... — hearing the retreating footsteps, Leila closed her eyes and began biting her lower lip, trying to calm down.
— Satisfied? — Deimos didn’t keep her waiting long with his appearance. He loomed over the bed, coldly watching the girl’s suffering. — What part of “run” wasn’t clear to you?
— I wanted to get rid of the hallucination... — she whispered in a trembling voice, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill out.
— And then why did you have to walk toward a stranger? — Deimos hissed. His anger made Leila feel even worse, and she whimpered again.
— I saw a nice young man who was handing me a bouquet of flowers. — Through her tears, she whispered in fragments.
— I told you it’s better not to take the pills too often.
— But you didn’t say why...
— ... — Deimos silently studied the curled-up Leila, who was trembling from sobbing and the terror she’d experienced. Closing his eyes and exhaling heavily, the young man spoke. — Yes, sorry, my fault. I should have told you earlier. — Deimos sat on the edge of the bed. — You go from one extreme to the other. Either you see hallucinations during episodes, or you take the pills and see everything through a haze of cheerful dust. You’re simply choosing between two kinds of hallucinations. Either good ones or bad ones. But I recommend you choose the bad ones — because then you have a better chance of surviving. It’s better to sense danger than not to sense it at all, especially when it’s really there.
— I’m going to go insane...
— That’s why we need to complete all the tasks quickly and free you from your suffering. Listen to me, and it’ll be easier for you. — Deimos’s hand lowered onto Leila’s trembling shoulder, squeezing it lightly in support. — You can do this, you just need to be more careful and more obedient.
— Alright...
— Try not to take the pill before the trip to the doctor. — Deimos stood up and looked down at Leila. — Unfortunately, I can’t accompany you to the hospital. There are some places I’m unable to enter.
— Why?
— Humans aren’t the only ones with limitations in life. Now pull yourself together and go get ready — unless, of course, you want to make Airen worry. — The girl looked at the young man, who dissolved into the air before her eyes.
Leila sighed heavily and headed to Airen’s room. There she quickly changed into her black outfit, then went to the kitchen, where the woman was standing by the kitchen table, slicing ham for a sandwich. Leila stood in the doorway, watching the precise and confident movements of her guardian, who hadn’t noticed the girl’s appearance in the kitchen. The sharp knife easily cut the meat into thin slices; the blade glittered under the lamplight.
Airen set the knife aside — its blade was stained with something red. The woman assembled two sandwiches and wrapped them in a small paper packet. Her fingers were covered in blood, staining everything she touched. Goosebumps ran down Leila’s spine. The memory of what had happened in this moment in her previous life struck her mind.
— Leila. — The same harsh voice called out, making Leila’s body tense and her stomach twist.
Shifting her gaze from the bloodied hands to Airen’s face, which had once again become disfigured with ragged wounds, the girl tried to suppress the urge to flee. Her heart launched into a frenzied dance, pounding out a rapid rhythm that throbbed painfully against her temples. Looking away, Leila drew in a breath, catching the smell of rot and metal.
— Yes? — Leila asked, looking anywhere but at her guardian.
— How are you? — the woman asked, her voice bearing little resemblance to that gentle melody, now like thunder in a clear sky heralding a storm.
— Didn’t sleep well. — Leila answered, looking to the side, trying to steady her ragged breathing.
— You can rest after the hospital. Let’s go — the car is waiting for us.
Airen stepped closer, and the girl was enveloped by a nauseating smell that made her have to suppress the urge to vomit. A bony hand extended a bloodstained paper packet with the sandwich. Leila swallowed the lump in her throat and took the packet with a trembling hand. The woman walked past Leila and headed for the exit. Her gaze fell on the bloody trail Airen had left behind her. Squeezing the packet with trembling fingers, Leila closed her eyes, trying to bring her fear under control.
It’s Airen. She won’t hurt me.
But these thoughts could do little against the anxiety when her eyes saw such horror. Biting her lower lip until it hurt, Leila followed the bloody stains after the woman. Airen was already standing by that same battered taxi. The terrible wounds and the blood had vanished. She was, as before, beautiful and with a kind gaze. Leila looked back, staring at the clean wooden floor. Not a drop of blood. Her shoulders relaxed; closing her eyes, she exhaled with relief.
Getting into the taxi after Airen, the girl stared out the window, watching the grey and gloomy city. A rainy autumn morning; all life had drained from the dark-orange leaves; grim-faced people went about their business. In an alley, a group of guys had cornered one young man and were roughly interrogating him about something, followed by a brutal blow to the tear-streaked face of the unfortunate man being questioned. Not a single smile, not a single joyful glance. And watching this, Leila felt a lump form in her throat.
— Leila, — Airen called, and when the girl turned to face her, the woman continued. — Felix stopped by while you were sleeping. He said hello and asked me to tell you he won’t be able to see you for a while due to personal problems. He apologises for it.
— That’s alright, I understand. — Leila turned back to the window.
I don’t even know who that is anyway. And for now, I don’t really care. I need to deal with my own problems.
The car stopped near the hospital. Leila and her guardian walked through the already familiar corridors. The same people in white coats, patients in the wards having IV drips and their pupils and mouths checked to make sure they’d definitely taken their medicine. Nothing in the hospital had changed since her last visit here in her previous life.
Again, waiting in the corridor. Out of boredom, Leila began fidgeting with her fingers, looking at her hands. But suddenly her gaze fell on the inside of her right wrist. She hadn’t really paid much attention to the strange scar before. Doubts crept into her mind. In her memory were fleeting glances at her arm, noticing a scar in the form of two vertical parallel lines. Now there were three. Chalking it up to inattentiveness, Leila entered the doctor’s office.
The first thing her gaze fell on again was the hourglass on the desk. Leila frowned slightly — for a second, it seemed as if the sand was falling not from top to bottom, but the other way around.
— Leila. — The doctor called, and the girl quickly looked up at him. His unusual appearance no longer surprised her as much as the first time, but it still didn’t cease to fascinate her.
— Doctor Taylor, good morning. — Leila said calmly.
— Good morning. — The man gestured toward the sofa. As soon as they sat down, Taylor continued. — How are you feeling? — the doctor folded his hands on the desk, interlacing his fingers. His pale-blue eyes stared intently at Leila, as if trying to get inside her head and read what she was thinking.
— Fine. — The girl shifted her gaze to the hourglass. Now the grains of sand were falling as they should — from top to bottom. But it was strange that the sand at the top hadn’t decreased, and the bottom hadn’t increased by a single grain.
— Is anything troubling you, worrying you? — the doctor continued asking questions, rising from his seat and walking around the desk toward Leila. His voice was calm, without any haste.
— Nothing except the hallucinations. — The girl answered quickly. She didn’t want to waste time here.
He can’t help me anyway.
The doctor came closer and took a small penlight from his pocket. He checked her pupillary response to light, carefully examined her face, and asked her to stick out her tongue. Taylor gave her a few simple math problems, which Leila solved without any difficulty. Next came a memory test, a request to touch her nose with her finger, to stand up and walk along a straight line. After the examination, the doctor and the girl returned to their seats.
— Hallucinations. Are they the same as before? Or has something changed in them? — Taylor took a sheet of paper and placed it before him.
— The same. — Leila answered quickly.
— Has your reaction to them changed? What do you feel when you see them?
— Nothing has changed.
— Leila... — the doctor’s serious voice and his piercing gaze through the lenses of his glasses made Leila tense up. The room had dim lighting, and at that moment it seemed to grow even darker. Warmth gave way to coolness, causing goosebumps. The girl lowered her gaze to her hands, resting on her knees. — I’m going to ask you a question now, and you must answer me honestly. — The doctor continued. Receiving no answer, he narrowed his eyes slightly, watching every fleeting movement Leila made. — Have you made a new friend that only you can see?
How...— Leila froze, her eyes widening slightly.He couldn’t know about that. Or is it just a standard question I simply don’t remember?
— No. — The lie escaped her mouth along with a puff of steam. The girl flinched. Something was wrong here. Her gaze fell on the hourglass, inside which the sand was swaying from side to side, like a raging golden sea. Gritting her teeth so they wouldn’t chatter against each other, Leila looked at the doctor, who hadn’t taken his eyes off her. His eyes, shifting from blue to lilac, seemed to glow in the dimness of the office.
— Leila, I strongly urge you not to do anything foolish. If someone tries to make you do strange things, don’t obey. Tell me about it. Together, we’ll handle it.
Her head began to ache. Leila closed her eyes and felt someone squeezing her shoulders with icy hands, making her flinch. The girl spun around quickly — but there was no one behind her. Her breathing became ragged, heavy, and her body began to tremble, whether from the cold or from fear — or perhaps from both at once. She turned her bewildered gaze to the doctor. Taylor stared back without blinking.
— Keep taking the pills. Four times a day. And don’t listen to those only you can see.
Time seemed to stand still. Leila glanced at Airen, who had been sitting motionless on the sofa since the strangeness began, like a decoration. The girl swallowed and nodded to the doctor, agreeing with his instructions. Taylor adjusted his glasses and began writing something on the form. The room immediately grew warmer; the sand in the hourglass calmed down and began to fall peacefully. Airen quietly sneezed into her hand and, apologising, took out a handkerchief to wipe her nose and palm.
— Routine check-up in a week. — Taylor finished writing and set down his pen. Rising from his desk, the doctor walked toward the sofa. Airen stood up first, taking the form Taylor was handing her with the medication schedule. Leila stood up after her. The doctor smiled at the girl. — The main thing is to be strong, follow the diet, and take your medicine on time. And don’t listen to any invisible friends.
— Alright... — Leila smiled and headed for the exit after Airen. The doctor’s visit left a strange aftertaste.
They travelled back in silence. Arriving home and mumbling in response to her guardian’s request to take her medicine, Leila went straight to her room. Locking the door, she surveyed the mess and smelled an unpleasant odour within her four walls. She had no desire to clean. Collapsing onto the bed, the girl stared at the ceiling, realising that very soon she would have to repeat the foray into the criminals’ territory.
— How do I avoid that killer... — she whispered to herself, throwing her mind a task that needed to be solved soon. Leila closed her eyes, sinking into her thoughts.
— You could have just run away from him, like I said from the start, but you chose those rotten pills instead. — Leila flinched at Deimos’s voice, and her heart skipped a beat. Even though she had expected his arrival, the guide’s sudden appearance still caught her off guard.
— They’re not rotten, they don’t smell of anything. — Leila said, ignoring the accusatory tone in the young man’s voice. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at Deimos, who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.
— They don’t need to smell of anything to be rotten. By the way, want an interesting fact? — having asked the question, Deimos immediately continued without waiting for an answer. — Glioblastoma and other brain tumours are accompanied by phantom sweet smells. There’s a reason for you not to take the pills — what if you suddenly smell something sweet and can’t tell whether it’s from the pills or if you have a tumour. — His face lit up with a sweet smile that had nothing in common with the dark things he was saying.
— I see, — Leila mumbled and looked away at the ceiling. Goosebumps ran down her body. Her head began to ache.
The doctor says not to trust invisible friends and to take the pills. Deimos says not to... and who to believe? What if Deimos really is just a figment of my imagination?— Leila massaged her temple with her fingers.I’m like a moth caught in a web of doubt and fear... and the only one who can help me escape is...
— Are you alright? — Deimos’s worried voice interrupted her thoughts. The guide’s face blocked out the ceiling. His blue eyes studied Leila’s pale face, and she wanted to drown in those depths and forget everything.
— My head hurts. — The girl didn’t try to dodge the question, studying the young man’s face in return.
Too beautiful, like an angel — but is he really one?
— Badly? You’d better rest and gather your strength before the trip. I’ll wake you later — or your guardian will do it for me. — Deimos straightened up and moved away from the girl, about to disappear.
— Deimos, — Leila stopped him, looking at the already semi-transparent young man. — Are you really real?
— What’s with the question? — his straight brows furrowed.
— I... I’m confused. I don’t know what to believe. What if you’re just a part of my sick mind, which created you so it wouldn’t go completely insane... what if...
— Hush, Leila, I’m not a figment of your imagination. — Deimos regained his full form and sat down beside the girl, squeezing her shoulder and leaning his head closer to look into her dark, anxious, and lost eyes. — Trust me, I don’t lie — I don’t know how... I really want to help you break free from the loop and end your nightmare.
— Alright... thank you...
— Get some sleep. You need your strength.
Deimos stroked the girl’s shoulder with his thumb and gave her an encouraging smile. Leila forced a smile in return, watching as the guide pulled away from her and dissolved. She sighed heavily and lay on her side, closing her eyes and trying to drift into the land of Morpheus, hoping that at least there she could find peace for even a moment.
The darkness was dispelled by a persistent knock at the door. Leila half-opened her eyes, casting a sleepy glance at the wooden surface, behind which her guardian’s voice could be heard. She couldn’t make out the words — Leila felt as if she were under a thick layer of water, with a ringing in her ears. Rising on her elbows, the girl shook her head, shaking off the remnants of sleep. The voice behind the door came again; her guardian’s indistinct speech was becoming grating. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Leila got up from the bed and walked toward the door on cottony legs. Taking the doorknob with a trembling hand, the girl closed her eyes, ready to face anything behind the wooden barrier. Opening the door, Leila saw Airen. As always, beautiful, composed, and without a single flaw.
— Airen?
— Did you take your medicine? You look exhausted.
— Yes, I took it, — Leila lied easily. — My head hurts and I’m overcome with weakness, but other than that, I’m fine.
— Maybe some fresh air would make you feel better? I need to go get some vegetables anyway — I want to make your favourite dish to cheer you up, since you’re more sluggish than usual today.
— Mmm...
— I can go, and you can sit on the bench in the park near the house, just to breathe some fresh air. — The woman continued, not letting Leila answer right away.
— Alright. — The girl sighed, watching the worried expression on her guardian’s face give way to a relieved smile.
— Get ready and come out — I’ll wait for you at the entrance.
Watching Airen walk away, Leila headed toward the bathroom. The smell of cleaning products hit her nostrils; the tiles cooled her feet, sobering her up and seemingly reminding her that she was still alive. Approaching the sink and turning on the cold water, Leila washed her face and looked at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. A gaunt face, hollow cheeks, red eyes with dark circles and small bags beneath them. Too pale. Touching her cheek with cold fingers, Leila pressed her thin lips together.
Was I this emaciated in the last cycle?— Turning off the water and wiping her face and hands on the white towel, which became stained with red, Leila trembled and closed her eyes.Again...— exhaling raggedly, Leila hid her trembling hands in her hoodie pocket and headed for the exit, staring at the floor.I don’t want to see the horrors... I don’t want to!
And so she left the house with Airen, looking only at her feet. They walked a short distance from the house, and Leila clenched her teeth, balling her hands into fists in her pockets so tightly that her nails dug painfully into her skin. Around her, she heard terrible growling; out of the corner of her eye, she caught black, distorted silhouettes, and in some places the ground was stained either with black clots or crimson blood, the smell of which made her nauseous.
— There’s a bench over there. Wait for me there. — She heard a harsh growling voice nearby. Leila swallowed and, nodding quickly, headed toward the bench.
Sitting in the park, Leila stared down with wide eyes. Her right leg twitched nervously. Her heavy, ragged breathing just wouldn’t calm down, despite all her efforts to keep herself under control. The urge to run and hide in her room was unbearable.
Why did I even come out if it started back at home?! Because I wanted to face my fear and get used to it... too overconfident of you, Leila!— the girl mentally scolded herself, until she heard a horrifying growl. A bone-chilling cold enveloped her body in icy embrace.
Leila froze, holding her breath, when dark-grey, crooked legs — as if woven from thick smoke — entered her field of vision. She wanted to disappear, to sink through the ground and be completely alone. But Leila didn’t know how to do that. As if in slow motion, the girl raised her terror-filled eyes. Catching Leila’s gaze, the creature smiled crookedly, baring its sharp fangs. At that unnaturally wide grin, the hair on the back of the girl’s head stood on end. Eye sockets full of darkness stared at her, and a thin, bony hand with long, spider-like fingers reached toward Leila’s face, frozen in utter terror. The scream caught in her throat, and before her eyes, the surroundings began to blur, highlighting only the hand slowly reaching toward her. A nauseating smell of rot hit her nose.
Dodging the clawed, gaunt hand, Leila bolted toward the house. Her trembling arms wrapped around her shoulders as she maintained her brisk pace. Dark shadows moved around her, as if hunting specifically for her. Paranoia consumed her mind. Danger emanated from everywhere — as if the very air was saturated with acrid smoke, trying to suffocate her. Her head began to spin.
— Deimos, help... — Leila whispered in a broken voice, struggling to hold back her tears.
A ringing sound struck her ears, causing a headache. The girl glanced toward the sound and noticed a huge creature resembling a bear made of copper, its body wrapped in writhing live worms. It was charging at Leila with furious speed. She made a dash to avoid the attack — and then felt a sharp pain, and darkness filled her eyes.
Jerking her eyes open, Leila gripped the blanket with trembling hands. Her nightclothes clung unpleasantly to her body; her face was covered in cold sweat; her chest rose and fell rapidly with quickened breathing. A frantic pulse pounded against her temples with sobering pain. Above her was the familiar ceiling. Biting her lower lip until it hurt, Leila covered her face with her palms, sobbing with tears she could no longer hold back. Again... again she had failed everything! The hope of returning to a peaceful life was slipping away from her as quickly as water through her fingers. And Leila could do nothing to hold on to even a little of it.
— Leave me alone! — Leila screamed hysterically at the knock on the door. — Don’t touch me today — I don’t want to go anywhere!
An indistinct growl came from behind the door. If Leila had been in her right mind, she might have been able to make out the worried words of Airen asking about her condition. But for the girl, even the faintest growl from the monster triggered a fresh wave of fear, mixed with anger and a desire to kill. To destroy that creature that frightened her, to make it disappear from this world once and for all.
— Shut up! Close your mouth! — Leila screamed again, grabbing the first object she could reach and hurling it at the door. The clock hit its target with a crack; the face shattered. With a crash, it fell to the floor, clattering loudly.
Breathing heavily, Leila stared at the closed door with anger in her eyes, behind which there was silence. Good. Leila didn’t want to waste her nerves on any more events today. And she wasn’t going to the doctor. Rising from the bed, Leila grabbed the irritating alarm clock, whose ringing was driving her to smash this damn room. Her gaze fell on the inside of her wrist, where her scar was. Now there was one line there, followed by the English letter V.
Roman numeral four?— Leila frowned. All her fury vanished instantly, leaving behind only confusion and a slight trembling from the terror she’d experienced. The realisation of what that scar might mean sent goosebumps down her spine.
— What happened? — the unexpected question made Leila flinch and quickly turn toward the guide, who was standing behind her in his usual pose. Arms crossed over his chest, his piercing gaze fixed on the girl, as if penetrating her mind to find answers to his questions.
— What happened? — Leila repeated the question, and a quiet, nervous laugh escaped her throat. Her trembling fingers brushed the dark strands falling over her face, tangling in her hair. A spark appeared in her previously extinguished eyes — one that promised to grow into a huge flame of hatred and rage. — You answer instead — where were you when I needed you? I called for you!
— Don’t I have my own things to do? — Deimos answered darkly, staring at the exhausted girl with an icy gaze. For a moment, the young man froze, lost in thought, then closed his eyes and let out a long sigh, regaining his imperturbable composure. — I was busy. It’s not in my power to be with you every second. I heard your call, but I didn’t make it in time. Now let’s calm down and talk sensibly.
— I went for a walk with Airen. — After a moment of silence, Leila spoke. — I started seeing monsters. I felt like I was suffocating... I thought I was going to die, so I ran home and... I don’t know what happened — a monster attacked me at high speed.
— A car hit you or something? — Deimos suggested. Receiving in response a look from the bewildered girl, who shrugged uncertainly, the guide sighed heavily. — Let’s agree on this: until I say otherwise, don’t leave the house. Your resurrections are affecting your condition badly. Your body is wearing out, and we’d better not risk finding out if you can still walk properly in the fifth life. Imagine that if you die even one more time, you’ll stay in your nightmare forever.
Leila nodded, glancing at the scar in the shape of a Roman numeral four. So her guess was right — the scar showed which life she was living in this damn loop. Deimos noticed her gaze and stepped closer, squeezing her shoulder so firmly as if to let her know she wasn’t alone. Or... that she was now under his strict and watchful supervision?
— Rest before the trip to the shop, and don’t leave your room unnecessarily.
— What if I die again? — Leila asked quietly, staring at the scar with an empty gaze.
— If you listen to me, you won’t die.
— Alright...
Deimos nodded and released the girl’s shoulder, leaving behind a faint warmth from his touch. When Leila looked up, she was alone in the room. Her body collapsed limply onto the bed; her extinguished eyes stared into the space before her, noticing nothing but emptiness and a blurred, meaningless background. She wanted to run away, to hide from everyone, and finally live without fear and anxiety. And for that, she had to obtain the amulet from the shop in the Cursed Court.
Leila turned her head toward the mirror, looking at her sickly pale, exhausted face. How she had changed since her first life, since that stupid death. But not only her body had changed. Her soul had changed too — as if it had been drained along with her physical shell with each resurrection, growing stronger. The fear in her eyes had been replaced by resignation, acceptance... and a hidden malice that had yet to find its true strength.
Who am I? With each time, I seem to lose my true self, and a completely different person takes over my body.
— Lost one... — Leila whispered to her reflection. — I’m a lost one in a nightmare...
