Chapter 1
Jace woke up afraid.
He’d been back only three days from the facility.
Every time he woke up, he was in tears, expecting to see another day of white ceilings and white lab coats.
But it was just his baby blue bedroom ceiling, dark gray in the middle of the night.
He curled back up in his sheets, breathing harshly, gripping the blankets shakily in his sweaty palms. His body was cold, hot tears rolling over his nose and onto the bed.
He was at home. Safe.
That’s what he tried to tell himself.
—
There were only four more days until school started. Jace tried to act normally around his family, pretending he couldn’t hear their thoughts at will. They kept prying, asking what had happened to him while he was gone for two years.
Not a word came out of his mouth. Someday they’d stop asking. He hoped.
How was he supposed to go to school? Everyone he’d ever known and been friends with was there. His ex-girlfriend Taylor. His best friend Spencer.
Then Imani, his girlfriend, would be going there too.
He sat down on the edge of his bed, hands gripping his curly hair hard enough to make his head hurt.
He couldn’t do this.
—
“Ready for your first day?”
Jace folded his arms from the passenger seat, scowling, one of his hoodie drawstrings in his mouth. “I guess.”
“Just do your best, dear. Remember to call me if you need anything.” Renee shifted the gear of the car, and they pulled out of the driveway, their cookie-cutter white house disappearing in the rear view mirror. “Your lunch is packed with your favorite sandwich.”
“Thanks,” he muttered, his grip tightening around himself. He hated being treated like a kid. But last she took care of him… he’d only been sixteen, so he couldn’t blame her. He couldn’t believe he’d become an adult in the facility.
The school approached ominously, and Jace gripped the armrest as they pulled in.
Oh, get over yourself, Jace. It’s just school. Man up.
But he couldn’t. What if the scientists grabbed him again?
He just… wouldn’t walk around alone. Yeah. That would work.
He felt the buzz of thoughts push against his mind as his mom pulled up to the curb.
“Have a good day, honey,” she said, and he nodded bravely, sincerely hoping everything would go fine.
He was not optimistic.
—
Everyone stared at him as he walked in, lots of eyes widening. It made Jace stop at the door, his hands gripping his backpack straps.
“Is that Jace Walker?” someone whispered, and he immediately wanted to leave and go home. There were so many people. A sea of thoughts pushed against his head. Lockers slammed, and the lights were bright, and people were moving and jostling around, making him feel sick.
“I thought he swapped schools?”
“Didn’t he get homeschooled?”
Jace stepped forward, unsure where to go or what to do or how to act. How had he used to act? Rambunctious… joking… overly brash and confident… he just couldn’t be that guy right now.
“Jace! My man! Look who’s back,” a familiar voice said, and Jace turned, relieved to see Spencer. His childhood friend, who kind of had the scoop. He knew Jace had been missing, not at another school.
He rested an arm around Jace’s shoulders, showing him into the hallway. “I know it hasn’t been long, but let me give you a tour of the place. Here’s the smelly lockers, the dirty floors, and the piece of gum that still hasn’t been removed from the ceiling—“
“I know where I’m going,” Jace said, miffed, shoving him off with a light roll of his eyes. Spencer grinned cheekily at him, his dimples evident. Though now he looked… older. A little more mature.
Though not by much.
“No, you don’t. Do you even remember your locker?”
Jace shook his head, smiling just slightly, irritated but glad for Spencer’s ridiculous and distracting antics.
He followed Spencer closely through the halls, the weight of people’s stares pressing down on his shoulders. He breathed tightly. Were there always so many people at school?
His vision blipped out, showing him the empty halls of the facility, and he nearly froze in place. Then it vanished, and he walked quickly after Spencer.
Stupid scientists. Stupid flashbacks.
He made it to his locker after what felt like a year, startled by the guy next to him, who poked his shoulder.
“Are you Jace? Where the hell have you been?” the guy said, his freckled face breaking out into a grin, and Jace panicked, thinking of a facility worker who looked just like him.
“Ah, Justin. He’s just been away. Why don’t we leave Jace alone, how about that?” Spencer said, and Justin smiled tightly, looking between the two of them. Fortunately, he left.
Jace hurried to put his stuff away, just wanting to get out of the crowd. It was just. Too loud. And his heart was hammering.
“Which class do you have first?” Spencer asked him.
“Math,” Jace said, in a burst of air. He wasn’t even sure if Spencer heard him.
“Sick! That’s my first class too. Thank God, I thought I was going to be bored to death.”
Jace allowed a chuckle, slamming his locker shut and locking it, then darting off down the hall.
“Hey! Wait up!”
—
He felt like it was a miracle he made it to Math. His eyes searched for Imani, but she didn’t seem to be there.
Spencer followed him as he went to the back corner, plopping down by the window and folding his hands over his head.
“I’m so glad to have you back,” Spencer said, clapping him on the shoulder.
Jace mustered a smile. “Glad to be back.”
“Really? You don’t look so good. Super pale.”
“Splendid,” Jace muttered, tugging on his hoodie drawstrings to pull his hood around his face. He hated the looks he was getting. Spencer’s included. “I’m fine.”
“I mean, if you say so. But you’ve been acting kind of weird. Not like the guy I know.” He snapped his fingers. “Oh! You know what? There are soccer tryouts next week. You got to get on the team, I bet you’re still a pro.”
Jace snorted, though he managed a smile. The words felt good. And he was a natural at soccer, that was for sure.
—
Lunch was hellish. The room was so loud. Clamoring, chatting voices. He almost couldn’t find Spencer, and stood frozen in front of a lunch table full of familiar people.
“Jace?” Taylor breathed. She looked so different. She had so much makeup on, and her braces were gone, and her hair was dyed blonde. She had on a low cut pink top. “God! You’re really back. You know, I’m really sorry about…”
Jace rapidly shook his head, anger suddenly boiling up. He still remembered how she’d cheated on him!
He finally spotted Spencer, and ducked away, sitting in the seat next to him as soon as he could.
He looked up to see Imani, who fiddled with her braid, looking just as overwhelmed. He felt the slightest bit better, although indignant that they both had to suffer like this.
“So uh… how’s your first day been?” Spencer asked him.
Jace made a face, offended he’d even asked. “Horrendous.”
“Same here, but I’m happy to be in school,” she said, her eyebrows raising at Jace. “I feel like we’ve missed a lot. It’ll be hard to catch up.”
“Oh, thanks for the vote of optimism,” Jace said sarcastically, grabbing one of his drawstrings and thinking back to the earlier math class. All the numbers and formulas were swimming in his head. Whatever, he could just fail math or something, he didn’t need it to become a soccer pro.
Though he didn’t even know if that’s what he wanted to be. What was the point in pursuing a future if the scientists could kidnap him again? Not that Imani understood, she already had a path planned out in criminal justice.
“I didn’t say it was impossible. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” She picked at her food. “How’s your head been?”
“Just fine,” Jace snapped, his face warming. Spencer wouldn’t understand! He could never tell him about the mind reading, how it would give him migraines…
“What about your head?” Spencer asked, and Jace groaned, putting his head in his hands. The day had hardly started and he was already completely exhausted.
—
Chemistry was the last straw. Following a line of students into the room, he stopped dead at the door, the person behind him crashing into him.
His heart pounded at the sight of lab coats hung on the wall, and his hands felt clammy, sweat beading on his palms. Why couldn’t he breathe? He felt like he literally couldn’t breathe. This room was a step away from a scientist going and taking one of the lab coats, drawing it over their body before they strapped Jace down to a table…
Someone lightly shook his shoulder, and he looked over to see Imani, who helped guide him into the room. He swallowed and was able to walk again, seeing how she was just as pale. He reached up and took her hand, needing to feel something.
They sat at the lab table, and Jace looked down at the black surface, feeling like he was about to throw up.
His mouth watered, and then he just couldn’t do it, getting off the stool and running from the room.
—
He ran into the bathroom, finding an open stall and shutting it behind him just as he threw up. It burned the back of his throat, and he couldn’t help but shudder and cry, feeling like he was just watching his own body. He felt awful. He was stiff and his stomach was churning and he just… He just wanted to go home.
He pressed his fingers into his eyes, angry with himself. He’d left his stuff in Chemistry. He couldn’t go home. He’d just have to go back in, looking like… this… It was so pathetic! On his first day.
His hands shook, but he wiped his eyes and his mouth, choking out the remnants of his stomach before he left the stall and swayed to the sink, washing his face.
He looked in the mirror, fixing his hair. He looked like shit, pale and droopy.
Angry and miserable, he went back to class, ducking in just as they took attendance. He felt Spencer and Imani’s eyes on him, but couldn’t look at them, hoping to pretend he hadn’t just run out like that. Embarrassment washed over him.
He felt other people staring at him, and drew his hoodie over his head, letting the selfish want to go home take over.
Just three more hours until the school day was over.
—
He got into the car, almost slamming it behind him, and sat down stiffly in his seat.
“How was your day?” his mother, Renee, asked him.
Emotion bubbled up at the question, and Jace felt like he was fraying, about to snap. His voice was thin. “Fine.”
Please don’t pry, Mom, for God’s sake.
“You saw Imani? Did Spencer find you?”
He groaned, putting his head in his hands. “I can’t do this…”
“Do what, Jace?”
He balled his fists into his eyes, every word grating against his nerves. He couldn’t do it right now.
“Did something happen? Jace, you need to tell me if it did.”
“No, I don’t,” he growled, then went silent, refusing to say anything else. He just couldn’t do it. His eyes stung, and he just… he just couldn’t. His mom stared, Spencer stared, Imani stared… everyone stared, seeing how messed up he was, and it made him feel so bad.
His mother sighed and started the engine, and they drove to go pick up his sister.
—
That had been Monday. He survived Tuesday and Wednesday. Then came Thursday, and he woke up hazily, eyes glued shut. He was confused. Was he really going to school again? Where was the facility?
They’re coming to get me.
He went to throw up in the bathroom, and called out sick.
—
Imani came to his house later that afternoon. He didn’t want to see anyone, sitting on his bed in his pajamas with a bag of potato chips, but she barged in anyway, hands full of notes.
“Thanks,” he said reluctantly, not excited to start copying them.
She sat down next to him on the bed, eyes searching his. She reached for his hand, her expression somber.
He looked away, gripping her warm fingers, letting their hands sway back and forth.
“What happened?” she asked him.
“Nightmares. Like in the facility. But now that I’m out, they’re scarier…” He sighed shakily, trying not to think about it. “Did we know anyone that had escaped and was… brought back? To the facility?”
Imani shook her head.
“But I’m sure it’s not impossible…”
“Jace,” she told him gently, but he frowned at the tone. “You’re worrying too much. We’re free, and we’re protected. The police are coming to talk to us soon and ask us for details.”
Jace searched her eyes. Her gorgeous blue eyes… which were always so logical! He adored it, but he also just… couldn’t relate. “How can you… not worry?”
“I went to therapy, Jace. I’m still going. You should go, too—“
“No,” he snapped, his nerves fraying, and he withdrew from her grasp. His heart was suddenly going a mile a minute. “No doctors.”
“Jace… it’s not like that…”
He heaved a breath, already picturing people in lab coats, questioning him, picking apart his feelings. “I can’t do it. Imani, I can’t do it.”
“No, no… no one’s going to make you. It’s just a suggestion.”
“Well stop suggesting it. God, you’re as bad as my parents.”
“Don’t raise your voice at me. I’m just trying to help. You know that.”
Jace leaned his head back against the wall, trying not to breathe so hard, even though he felt his eyes sting out of nowhere. He grabbed a pillow and hugged it to his chest.
“It’s just hard to watch you suffer,” Imani sighed, and he found her looking at him sadly when he was able to meet her eyes again. “We’re in this together. I may not have gotten powers, but I still… I was still there, and saw everything.” Her voice shook.
Jace pressed his mouth into a line, his nails digging into his palms. He got it. He really did. He just hated this subject.
She sighed. “Do you want to copy the notes? Or shall I beat you in Super Smash Bros again?”
Jace managed a small scoff. “You’ve never beaten me.”
“Well, why don’t we go and see if that’s changed…”
—
The rest of the week marched on. He hung out at Spencer’s house on the weekend. He had Imani over, and his parents chatted naturally with her at dinner. He had homework he didn’t understand. And at least one nightmare found him at night.
Monday came, and he realized soccer tryouts were on Thursday. He hoped he didn’t need to practice.
And yet, lunch came…
“Hey Jace, me and a bunch of other guys are practicing soccer right after our last class tomorrow,” Spencer told him, eyeing him. “Wanna join us?”
“Splendid,” Jace muttered, then fixed his face as Spencer raised an eyebrow. “What? I mean, of course I do. Jace never passes up an opportunity for soccer.”
“Right, that’s not in character. Is it just me, or do you always look pale and tired these days?”
Imani shot him a look, and Jace looked away, embarrassed. He just wanted to go back to normal.
Later that day, he asked his mom for sleep medication at night. He just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Why?” she asked.
He couldn’t tell her about the nightmares. He just said he had a hard time falling asleep.
“Just for tonight, but I use melatonin because I have menopause, Jace. Not just for trouble falling asleep.”
In that moment he almost snapped again. He’d sneak the stupid melatonin if he had to.
—
He showed up to the soccer practice the next day, tugging at his jersey and soccer wear. The shin guards didn’t really fit, and all he could wear were sneakers, since he didn’t fit his sixteen-year-old cleats.
Spencer chuckled at his outfit. “We’ll go shopping after this, how about that?”
“Great. More reminders of what changed,” Jace said under his breath.
“What was that?”
“I said, great idea, for sure.”
Spencer peered at him, then shrugged and waved him onward, taking them both onto the field.
Jace’s expression became pained as he saw the cast of guys. He knew all of them. He used to play with them, before… he was taken. There was Justin, and Harvey, and Cole…
He forced a smile when they all lit up, then Jace spotted a new guy, sitting on a bench with a book in his hand. He had black curly hair and looked fairly built, although he was also fairly lean. Jace wouldn’t have believed he was there to play soccer if he hadn’t been dressed in the gear. There was something formal and well-adjusted about him.
“Oh, that’s Marcus. Said he wanted to join us. I have no idea if he’s any good,” Spencer told Jace cheerily. “He’s a new student, and it’s his first year here. So you guys kind of have that in common.”
“Oh… really?” Jace said, feeling a bit relieved, all of a sudden. Though his heart quickly sank. There were probably all kinds of rumors floating around about him, so it wasn’t like this Marcus could be a complete stranger to his situation. He didn’t even get a fresh start with him-- he’d never get one with anyone. The past with the scientists would never leave him alone.
Marcus looked up, his ocean blue gaze landing on Jace.
Jace was startled and unnerved by his eyes, which looked like they did a quick scan of his soul. Other than that… intense aspect, he was fairly handsome, irritatingly so, in a pretty way, and Jace had a feeling that his position as the most popular guy… was about to be challenged.
And the guy was casually reading on a soccer field. Like a nerd. They were destined to be foes.
All I want is to be popular, without any rumors, or challenges, and just to be good at soccer and a normal guy, and then call it a day…
“Did someone say my name?” Marcus ended up asking them. He had a smooth, kind of melodic voice, which made Jace roll his eyes.
“Oh, yeah, I’m the culprit. I couldn’t help bringing you up, since you’re the new guy,” Spencer admitted, not the slightest bit sorry. He grinned.
“You were just gossiping?”
Spencer cracked up. “You got me. Yep! I’m Spencer, by the way.”
Jace didn’t introduce himself, turning away. He felt suddenly preoccupied about people’s thoughts of him. What had the other students been saying? He’d been tired and out of it all week— the night before was the first time he’d had good sleep, since he’d taken a melatonin gummy.
“Alright, guys, listen up. Time for drills!” one of the guys shouted.
Jace jogged through the drills, not getting out of breath, pleased with how he’d handled them. He’d found a place to go for runs in the facility, so at least he wasn’t out of shape…
Maybe he was still normal at soccer. He grinned to himself.
They split into groups, each a distance from a goal. They practiced kick positions, and Jace held his breath as he approached the soccer ball. The black and white pattern looked menacing.
He kicked it with all his strength, and it hid the net with a thwack.
He grinned, and Spencer clapped him on the back. “See, I knew we needed you back! I swear to God we haven’t been doing as well without you.”
“Well, obviously,” Jace couldn’t help but say, and the other guys laughed.
He looked back at the other group, a grin still on his face, and saw Marcus position himself behind the ball.
Jace blinked and almost missed seeing his kick, which sent the ball into the exact center of the net.
Jace narrowed his eyes, wondering if that was accidental, or if he really had that much skill.
They practiced dribbling in groups, and Jace was starting to get tired but didn’t care, since the air was warm and he hadn’t felt so alive for years. He even laughed.
Then they went for a game, and Jace took his position as forward, refusing to play defensive. He never played defensive. Only offensive.
He saw Marcus standing calmly as a defender, and he felt suddenly fired up, remembering that perfect kick of his.
He dribbled past the other guys, passing back and forth with his teammates, and found himself in a skirmish over the ball with the other side. He laughed, trying to get his foot around it.
Then someone sharply kicked the ball out, sending it to the opposite side offender.
Jace scowled, glancing briefly, and saw Marcus backing away. Of course. This new guy… what was his deal?
Jace raced after the ball, refusing to lose.
—
Spencer dropped him back off at home, both of them sweaty, and he grinned at Jace.
“There you are. I was starting to wonder if you’d lost the ability to smile.”
“I can smile just fine,” Jace protested, taking offense, and Spencer mock sighed, heading over to his place next door.
Jace trudged up the steps, feeling his adrenaline rush starting to fade. He was pretty sure he was still good at soccer. Right? He’d still make the team, for sure. And then he’d have something to look forward to each week, finally.
He did feel sorry for being so… out of it. He didn’t mean to. Maybe soccer could fix everything.
But he knew it wouldn’t, since the scientists were still out there.
He walked inside and dropped his bag on the couch, his stomach growling, and headed into the kitchen.
His father stood in there, and Jace offered him a smile, which… his father didn’t return.
“Jace, we need to talk.”
“About?” Jace retorted, misery creeping back in. He grabbed some Pringles from the cupboard and leaned against the counter.
His dad sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Don’t take that tone with me. Two things. The police will be stopping by next week. And, we’ve been getting calls from your school. You’re already falling behind.”
“Well, no shit, I missed two years,” Jace sputtered, and his father stood up straighter.
“Don’t curse at me. There’s plenty of space for you to get better grades. There are teachers who can help you, or Imani, or me. You just have to try, Jace.”
Jace clenched his jaw, folding his arms, his nerves fraying again. Everything felt tight, and it burned behind his eyes. It was just all so unfair!
“I know you have a bad attitude towards school, and always have, but your mom and I think it’s time for you to step it up. It’s your junior year.”
“I know that,” Jace snapped. He took a deep breath.
His father peered at him. “Jace, if you don’t start doing well in school, there will be consequences. If your grades aren’t good, no more soccer. I’m already skeptical that you can manage everything—“
“Oh, splendid. Thanks, Dad,” Jace spat, unable to talk to him anymore. His face was hot with anger, and his eyes stung, so he took his Pringles and grabbed his bag off the couch.
“We’re in the middle of a conversation, Jace!”
“Please just shut up,” Jace hissed under his breath, marching up the stairs. If he didn’t have any soccer there was nothing to live for. He wasn’t Jace without it.
He slammed his door behind him, then froze, seeing his little sister sitting on the floor waiting for him.
“Sorry,” he said, shame rushing over him.
Mila’s eyes were wide. Her voice was tremulous. “Um… What exactly did Dad say?”
Jace shook his head, groaning and setting his stuff on the bed. He offered Mila a Pringle in apology. “He said he’ll take away soccer if I keep doing bad in soccer.”
“That’s so mean! Why is he always like that?” Mila made a face, getting up and going over to give him a hug. He settled into the embrace of her thirteen-year-old arms. “Don’t worry about it. Mom could probably change his mind.”
“If I throw a hard enough tantrum about it, you mean?”
Mila giggled, shoving him away. “That’s not what I meant, you moron.”
Jace grinned down at her, glad to have her back. He’d only just gotten back and seen her when she left for the summer field trip. So it was nice to have her back for good.
He wondered what would’ve happened if the scientists tried to grab her while she was away without them. He felt a chill down his spine. They wouldn’t grab friends or family members, right?
“Jace? I set up Uno, do you want to play?”
Jace took a deep breath and nodded, trying to box his worries away.
Spencer texted him, asking if he still wanted to go and shop for soccer gear.
‘Tomorrow after class is a better time,’ Jace texted, irritated. His father was downstairs, and Jace would have to tell him where he was going. Stupid.
Though, he was playing Uno with Mila anyway. And that was also important.
