I Never Dreamed It Could Be Me
People say your first love changes you.
I used to smile whenever I heard that.
Love belonged in songs that played a little too late at night, in Korean dramas that made my heart ache, and in the countless Wattpad stories I secretly stayed awake reading long after everyone else had fallen asleep.
I was a hopeless romantic.
The kind of girl who replayed her favorite scenes over and over again.
Who smiled when the male lead remembered the smallest detail about the heroine.
Who cried when two people who were meant to be couldn't find their way back to each other.
I loved stories about love.
I just never believed one could happen to me.
Not because I didn't believe in love.
I did.
I believed in it so much that it scared me.
I was terrified of trusting the wrong person.
Terrified of giving someone the power to become my favorite person.
Terrified that one day they'd leave, carrying pieces of me I'd never know how to put back together.
So I convinced myself that relationships simply weren't for me.
Whenever my friends talked about crushes or dating, I'd laugh along, secretly relieved that I didn't have anyone occupying my heart.
Or at least...
That's what I wanted everyone to think.
Because the truth was much simpler.
Deep inside, I wanted the kind of love I'd only ever read about.
A love that felt safe.
A love where someone remembered the little things.
A love where choosing each other wasn't a question.
But whenever I imagined those stories...
I could never picture myself as the heroine.
I could picture every scene perfectly.
The stolen glances.
The accidental hand touches.
The late-night conversations.
Everything.
Except my own face.
Somewhere along the way, I had quietly convinced myself that love like that happened to other girls.
The prettier ones.
The confident ones.
The girls who walked into a room and naturally drew everyone's attention.
Never me.
I never thought someone could look at me and think,
"She's the one."
So I became a silent admirer of love.
Happy to watch it.
Happy to read about it.
Never expecting to live it.
If someone had told me then that one ordinary decision—to join a new company—would introduce me to the person who would change the way I looked at love forever...
I would've laughed.
Because some stories don't begin with fireworks.
Sometimes...
They begin with a boy wearing a maroon shirt.
