when i look

I don't know how to sing these feelings.

When the rain falls,

I only feel more alone.

I search for something

to fill the empty,

but all I find is weight,

heavy and crushing,

so much that my skin can't hold it.

I never thought

I would hurt myself in this way.

The pain inside

feels louder than the blood.

The marks stay with me,

stains I can't wash away.

I try to look into others' eyes.

All I see are mirrors,

my own reflection, cracked,

staring back at me.

I'm tired of bleeding.

I want to feel like I'm here,

really here,

not beneath my skin.

_salomi