Angel

Angel

This is the story of Angel

You are my Angel

Come from way above

to bring me love

-Massive Attack

Me and Voices were tight since day dot. I first met him in nursery. It was this small nursery by Brixton hill next door to some flats. I was playing with a toy car- I remember it being a black sportscar, and he snatched it away he then pushed are toy monster truck in my face. He wanted to play; he had a beaming smile and big brown eyes. We became best friends from that day on.

Me and him both came from single parent households. His dad randomly left his mum for another woman, whereas mine just gradually breezed in and out of my life. I stopped seeing him past the age of 5. As we became friends, so did our mums – even realising that they lived close by each other.

There was a playground we used to play in. It had swings and a jungle gym. We used to play cops and robbers and football with another group of boys. Voices had an interesting personality he was cheeky but quiet. He was observant a lot. He was so intelligent though, you could even say calculated. He could be loud and outgoing but he had eyes that looked like they were thinking many thoughts. At times he would go quite and zone out, he was a deep thinker. He loved making music. He had an uncle that produced music and had a makeshift studio 15 minutes from where me lived. We used to spit bars and make tracks for fun.

I was a bit louder and funnier. You could even say I was a bit goofier to a certain limit. and hench, no bragging. I made many friends and seemed popular to an extent but really a lot of the time, these people just used to be faces I’d frequently see. I knew about them, but I didn’t know them. I had my circle which I kept quite small but sometimes it was hard, living on an estate meant we were known. It also meant people would come in and out of our group bringing drama. Or trouble.

As we got older into our teens, we became cheekier- pushing limits to which we often ended up in trouble- sometimes even with the law. I hated being broke so always wanted to make money. We would work apart-time job but also engage in criminal activity at night to get money.

Me and Voices loved going to raves and events. I loved the pounding Bashment music and the thumping bass. The smell of Lemon Amm in the air and Courvoisier. I loved having girls dance on me and stare at me with desire and lust in their eyes. During parties I would pick one I’d like most- usually the sexiest or most intense one which would arouse me the most. I’d take her somewhere quiet and fuck her, or I’d take her in my car, and she’d give me phenomenal head.

Me and Voices would brag about girls, film them and have our fun with them. He was usually the most popular with the ladies- I often felt like the wingman. We loved girls but we loved making money even more.

Me and him were often on the roads a lot. We were like celebrities around our area and we didn’t care, we had each other’s backs, and our bond especially was tight.

Overtime we wanted to get more into our music. I got into making beats and mixing tracks and he was a monster lyricist and could spit the coldest bars- often leaving me gassed or with chills down my spine. As we got older through our struggles with people, we deemed enemies intensified. This ranged from people who owed us money to our names getting brought up in conversations, getting arrested and girls.

Sometimes it would keep me up at night, it was scary- not knowing what tomorrow would bring or just constantly feeling on edge or someone was out to get me. I would bun with voices at night and we’d chat about it. I always appeared light-hearted about it, like water off a ducks back. He on the other hand took it deeply like it really affected him I could see it in his eyes. We had heard about guys- some who often rolled with us getting hurt. We used to mask it with music, weed or girls .Often, we just used to bang out making money.

Being like celebrities in our area came with a price we often attracted Opps or people who were jealous or envious of the status we had. Our circle always was close knit but sometimes we had people try to come in. We were cool for the most part, keep it pushing and just move on because if it would escalate further- BOOM.

Our Block housed a lot of people ranging for single mums to dealers to ex criminals no further info needed. As kids me and the boys I grew up with used to see older boys and feel inspired. The looked so cool with their fresh trainers and designer garments. They used to be the celebrities then. I thought of my mum quite a lot and my little sister and brother. I loved them man- I didn’t like them talking to just anyone I had to ensure we were cool with these people.

I was quite smart I did well in school and college. I was good with subjects like Mathematics and Science. Voices was even more intelligent often possessing a very cold mind that made it hard to figure out what his next step would be. He could scary- He just used to make me, nervous- I cant describe it. He would be calm and deliberate in his manner of doing things but would make me feel off balance. If anyone troubled him he would sort it.

We sometimes shared the deepest times- often going hungry together or trapping or even chatting about our issues with girls. We used to be a bit mad with it. Overtime Voices started becoming more bait- he was always bait online- like a celebrity. Many times people tried to create problems or involve him in mixup which used to really irk him. He brushed it off but I could see it in his cold eyes.

People would be introduced into our world some that meant danger. We would get mixed up in a world full of greed stemming from power and jealousy and envy. I concealed so much of my insecurity and hurt through my laughter and booming voice. My beaming smile and cheeky antics. My inability to stay out of trouble but I didn’t mean any harm.

There was this one time a girl got introduced to us. She had a cousin we used to be cool with on the estate. We used to have fun times but issues popped up when we got close to her. Her cousin ,a person who we were once cool with became withdrawn and started having weird behaviours. This included getting involved with an enemy of ours. This immediately wounded our group and caused a rift. She was a cool girl, no issues but for some reason her cousin just changed.

He became a prick to us for no reason whatsoever. This alarmed voices, he immediately became threatened and met with him one night. He met him to understand what the issue was - why he was starting to behave strange and morph into someone we could no longer trust. Was this guy planning something? Was he gonna do something to one of us that he would later come to regret? We all had eachothers back for the most part. I just think Voices got stressed out with it.

So Voices met with him that Summer night but little did he know it would spark a chain of heart wrenching events that would lead to him meeting Angel.