Chapter 1
Bad things happen to the people you love
And you find yourself praying up to Heaven above
But honestly I've never had much sympathy
Cause those bad things. I always saw them coming for me
I'm gonna run, run away ,run, run away, run away,
Run away and never come back
She knows- J Cole
"Call the police please! "I yelled hysterically, to my neighbours. fat tears poured from my eyes. I was shaking and it felt like I was in a furnace with my body burning almost like I was being cremated alive. It felt like pins and needles all over my body and my ears were humming loudly. It felt like my soul was shifting out of my body - my very vessel. I was hyperventilating and in shock.
A bunch of police and ambulance team entered my home and went upstairs where my screaming sibling and deceased mother.
I walked outside in tears wanting to escape and bumped into Cardo one of my neighbours.
I was hysterical and he stopped confused and held me and brought me back into his flat. I was screaming and he rubbed my back and tried to sooth me to no avail. "My mum, she’s dead! I don’t know what to do! She just died at home alone; she had a heart attack." I was screaming at this point.
He was a harder individual and he looked at me emotionless but then came up close and hugged me. He held me for a while as I sobbed and I locked eyes with him and I leaned in and kissed him. He stopped and shoved me off. I looked at him stunned at my actions and we just stared at each other for a brief moment before he came in close towards me.
Our lips then crashed into each other and we started to remove each others clothing. I took my knickers off and he positioned himself between my legs. I felt the tip of his penis on my entrance. He grabbed my breasts as he entered and gasped and entered. He then started thrusting and kissing me by this point I was still sobbing but they were more broken choppy sobs.
“fuck me, fuck me harder ” I sensually gasped to him. we locked eyes and he started sucking my breasts. I turned over and his started pounding into me from the side, doggystyle. It was quick and fast. I could feel him hitting the right spot but I still felt so numb at the same time. It was the most perplexing feeling. Just then one of his cats came in and we shared a broken chuckle as our sexes connected. I pulled him in closer and he started pounding into me further before I pulled him onto the floor and mounted him. I then proceeded to ride him harder than I had ever ridden any man before. My big double D breasts were swinging and bouncing and everything. I knew it was terrible that we were doing this, my flat just a minute away but I needed someone to just take away the pain for a little bit.
I rode him quickly and felt incredible in that moment. He started to meet my thrusts and then I felt him groan, he was having an orgasm.
“Oh fuck, move let me pull out." I got off and his semen started spurting out. I watched and instantly regretted doing this. "I shouldn’t have done this what was I thinking." He finished and then reality hit. I felt nausea hit me and wretched. I feel really freaked out and disturbed at myself. I backed away shaking and naked and felt the walls cave. Cardo tried just stood there in a daze probably wondering if he should just let me go or comfort me. He slowly came toward me and tried to calm me down. "Relax Billie, just calm down. Its okay, you're okay " he held out his hands in defence and backed away to give me space. His voice soft, seductive but had a hint of genuine empathy and care.
I cant believe what I've just done. My mum dies and I'm fucking my next door neighbour. I must be the shittest daughter in existance. I-I-I, I can't even face myself. " I've got to go, I-I I've got to leave, I cant stay here with you. " I said
"Where Billie, Where will you go? To hospital- To go speak to a bunch of doctors that can't change anything. Its done" He said calmly
I DON'T CARE GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME" I screeched. He just stared. He stood there motionless for a moment and came toward me with a soft throw and put it over me as I wept. I'm sick I thought. I must be.
He led me to the sofa where he consoled me and wrapped me in a hug.
“Look, I know someone who can help. My son lives in Hackney. He’s got a room you can stay in for a couple of days till you get back on your feet.” We were on the sofa cuddling.” I also have a daughter you know, she lives with him on occasion but I dunno what she’s doing now with her life to be honest. She comes and goes.” My son's name is Jordan. He'll be able to help you."
I sat in silence shaking.
The tv was on and we were fully clothed. He came up close and kissed me, he grabbed my face harder and kissed me again then he grabbed my legs and lifted off my thighs so my legs we in the air and my vagina and bottom were exposed. He then proceeded to lick my clitoris. It felt weird but after a few moments it began to startle me. It felt like intense liquid pleasure. His tongue was demonic, like a serpent- or a rattlesnake.
I felt odd - almost uncomfortable you know that feeling when you feel just a little bleh. I tried to get into it but just couldn’t. He started doing it with more force and then softly till it started to generate a deep orgasm. He kissed me over and over. I then closed eyes as I lay on the sofa with the throw wrapped around me. I fell in a deep sleep wanting to forget everything .
The next morning his son came in really early to pick me up. His son looked like him. He was not the most friendly. He was polite but stoic at the same time. I came to the conclusion that Ricardo wasn’t the closest with his son. I think they had a few issues, that needed sorting. I weakly half smiled and he greeted me. He had dreadlocks which was quite funny considering his dad was so bald his head actually shone in the light.
Jordan drove me to his home- a flat in Hackney. It was modern but it wasn’t super massive. I’d say it was the perfect size for 2 people. He switched on the light, and we entered the living room. He asked me if I’d like anything to eat or drink to which I politely declined. I didn’t feel like food or drink at that moment. I just wanted to sleep. I could sense he wanted to know more about me and had questions. Any person would, my mums just died, I’ve run away from home and now I’m staying with him.
"Where can I sleep? I'm a bit tired " I said weakly. Jordan led me to a small bedroom with a bed, a chest of draws and a white wooden cupboard.
I climbed in the bed and let sleep overtake me. I just wanted to forget.
