Invitational
“Whew,” said Nora, making her way into the living room and setting down her backpack.
“Hey, hon,” said her mother. “How was school?”
“It was all right,” said Nora, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. “But the weather is really getting warm. ”
“Yeah, well, I find it exciting. It means your graduation is right around the corner,” said her mother. “You want something cold to drink?”
“Oh yes, please,” said Nora, flouncing down on the sofa and stretching out her legs.
“I just made a pitcher of iced tea,” said her mother. “Let me go pour you a glass.”
As soon as her mother departed for the kitchen, Nora picked up the remote control and switched on the TV. As she surfed through the channels, she fanned the hem of her skirt in an effort to try and cool down.
“Here you go,” said her mother a few moments later, handing her a glass. “Oh, and try to keep it down. Your brother is still feeling under the weather.”
“What?” exclaimed Nora. “Are you serious? I was wondering why I didn’t see him at school today.”
“Well, honey, he’s got a sensitive heart,” said her mother. “Going through a breakup can affect you just as much as catching the flu or something like that.”
“No, no, this is ridiculous,” said Nora, jumping to her feet. “He’s been hiding up in his room for days.”
“I know honey but...” said her mother.
“But what, Mom?” said Nora. “The Invitational is next week. No way. I’m going to go talk to him.”
“Okay, but go easy on him, all right?” said her mother, her words trailing off as Nora stomped her way upstairs.
Marching straight to the dweeb’s room, Nora knocked on his door and then barged in without waiting for a reply. Despite the warm day, he was in bed and under the covers.
“Hey!” said Nora, her nostrils flaring. “You gonna be a coward and hide out here for the rest of your life?”
“Leave me alone,” said Elias, not even bothering to look up from his phone.
“I’m talking to you, asshole!” said Nora, grabbing the edge of the blanket and yanking hard.
“Hey!” exclaimed Elias, clutching onto the blanket in order to keep himself covered. “What is your problem?”
“My problem is that the National High School Chess Invitational is next week, duh,” said Nora.
“And so what?” said Elias with a scowl.
“Are you serious?” spluttered Nora. “You told me you’ve spent years playing in tournaments to improve your ranking enough to get a chance to participate in this thing.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not feeling well,” said Elias. "I'll compete next year."
“Look, if you want to throw away an opportunity like this, I don’t care,” said Nora. “But there are going to be all kinds of people there from universities, scholarship foundations, and educational software companies.”
“Uh-huh,” said Elias, turning his attention back to his phone.
“Hey!” said Nora, swiping and nearly succeeding in grabbing it out of his grasp. “Did the break-up leave you retarded as well? If you don’t play chess, those people aren’t going to stick around for my demonstration. My app is my one shot at getting off the waitlist at Harvard and Princeton.”
“Meh, not my problem,” said Elias with a shrug.
“Well, it’s about to be your problem, bud,” said Nora, hauling back and delivering a solid punch to his upper arm.
“Ouch!” whined Elias, giving her a baleful glare.
“Look, I know your ex is gonna be there at the tournament,” said Nora. “But it’s time for you to grow up and be a man. She’s just a girl, dude. One more fish in the sea.”
“No, she is not!” said Elias, sitting up in bed, revealing his bare torso. “Vivian Chen is the love of my life.”
“Yeah, well, the love of your life broke up with you. Time to get over it,” said Nora with a snort.
“Easy for you to say,” said Elias with a scowl. “You don’t even have a boyfriend.”
“Well, that’s something I’m working on,” said Nora, her face growing warm. “Anyway, I’ve just been focused on getting my app ready. You know, so I can demonstrate it at the Invitational, the event that you’re determined to tank!”
“Look, what do you want me to do?” said Elias.
“I want you to get out of bed and quit moping around,” said Nora. “And then I want you to go back to school and tell Mr. Chesteron and everyone else that you’re going to compete in the Invitational so as not to spook all the sponsors and attendees.”
“But I can’t,” moaned Elias. “I just can’t face Vivian.”
“But why, though?” said Nora, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. “I thought you and her were as thick as thieves.”
“We were. I love her with all my heart,” said Elias, pausing for a long moment. “But she... she didn’t want that.”
“Did you cheat on her or something?” said Nora.
“Huh? No way, sheesh!” said Elias, his eyes wide with surprise.
“Okay, did she cheat on you then?” said Nora. “Because, I mean, she is a little hottie. Practically every nerd in school has been drooling after her.”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but no, she did not cheat on me,” said Elias, a look of contempt on his face. “In fact, the opposite.”
“Huh?” said Nora. “What does that mean?”
“She told me...” said Elias, unable to meet her gaze. “She told me that our relationship was a distraction, that she was losing focus on her chess game. Playing well at the Invitational could get her a full-ride college scholarship, and her parents are really obsessed with her education.”
“All right,” said Nora with a nod. “So maybe you don’t hang out with her every day. But breaking up seems a little extreme.”
“It wasn’t...” said Elias. “Nevermind.”
“No!” said Nora, giving his leg a hard whack. “I need this resolved, and I need it resolved NOW. Tell me exactly what she said.”
“She said lots of things,” said Elias with an indignant sniff.
“No,” said Nora, trying to control her temper. “Because I’ve seen you two together. For whatever reason, she was really into you, so there has to be a damn good reason why she broke up with you.”
“I told you. She said she needed to focus on her game,” said Elias.
“Dude!” said Nora before taking a deep breath to try and calm herself down. “Pretend like I’m five years old, okay? What, exactly, did this girl say the last time you two talked?”
“She said...” said Elias, his face turning bright red. “She said I’m too horny.”
“Too horny?” said Nora, taken aback.
“Yeah. I mean, you’ve seen her. She’s gorgeous. And her tits? My god, they’re so perfect. They fit right into the palm of my hand, and when I squeeze them...” said Elias.
“I get the picture,” said Nora, cutting him off. “Okay, so she didn’t like having sex with you. I mean, I get that. You’ve got the body of a 12-year-old boy.”
“Hey!” protested Elias. “And just so you know, she did like having sex with me. She loved it, in fact. She was obsessed with my cock.”
“Then what’s the problem?” said Nora, noticing a slight bulge under the blanket right where his midsection was.
“I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this shit,” said Elias, his cheeks two spots of bright pink. “But I need it, like, every day.”
“Need what?” said Nora.
“Sex,” said Elias, his voice a near whisper. “I just get so horny whenever I’m around here. I can’t help it! She’s just so frigging hot.”
“Ah,” said Nora, finally putting together all the pieces of the puzzle. “So you wanted to bone every day, and she only wanted it once a week or whatever?”
“Something like that,” said Elias, averting his gaze.
“So why can’t you be like a normal teenage guy and just jerk off?” said Nora with a chuckle.
“I tried that!” said Elias. “But it didn’t work. I’m telling you, all it takes is one look at her and my dick gets as hard as a rock.”
“Eww, way too much information, dude,” said Nora with a grimace. “Hang on. So the reason you’re up here moping in bed is because you’re afraid you’re going to get a hard-on if you see her at the Invitational?”
“Yeah,” said Elias, his face turning beet red.
“So what’s the solution then?” said Nora. “Because as much as I hate to say it, I really need your scrawny ass to participate. My entire future is riding on it.”
“There is no solution,” said Elias. “I did some research on the internet, and all I can do is wait until I’m older for my hormones to subside.”
“Good grief,” said Nora with a sigh. “So let me see if I’m getting this straight. You’re a horny pervert who is refusing to play a game of friggin’ chess because you’ll get a boner onstage when Vivian Chen is around?”
“Um, kinda, yeah,” said Elias.
“Well, what if I called her? Maybe you two can make up,” said Nora, wracking her brain.
“I told you. She’s under a lot of pressure to succeed in t,” said Elias. “As much as she enjoys making love to me, doing good at the Invitational is more important.”
“Oh, I know. What if you jerked off, like, five minutes before the Invitational?” said Nora with a shudder of disgust. “Jeez, I can’t believe I’m even saying such a thing.”
“It won’t work,” said Elias. “I’ll just get another erection. The only thing that keeps my system in check is if I have sex with someone.”
“Aha! Well, that’s it then,” exclaimed Nora. “We just got to get you a new girlfriend. Then you can bang her and problem solved.”
“Are you nuts?” said Elias. “How am I going to get a new girlfriend in less than a week? It took months of flirting with Vivian before she’d even let me kiss her.”
“Shoot, you’re right,” said Nora, lapsing into silence.
“On the internet, it says that the body knows when it’s being touched by someone else,” said Elias. “Kind of like how you can’t tickle yourself, you know?”
“Yeah,” said Nora. “I mean, that makes sense I guess. Dang it! What are we going to do? Hire a prostitute or something?”
