Clover

Chapter One: Before I Met Her

My name is Aria.

I'm a second-year university student studying Management, and if someone had told me that my life would take such an unexpected turn halfway through my second year, I probably wouldn't have believed them.

I had always thought life was difficult, but I never imagined it could become this difficult.

I lost my dad to an unknown illness.

One day, he was there. The next, he was gone.

And suddenly, it was just my mother and me.

My mother became my only source of support throughout university. She did everything she could to make sure I stayed in school, even when I knew how difficult it was for her.

But life became harder after Dad died.

There were days when I genuinely wondered if I could keep going.

I thought about giving up more times than I cared to admit.

But I kept fighting.

Not because I was strong.

Sometimes, I simply had no other choice.

Whenever I went out with my friends, I tried to look normal. I laughed when I was supposed to laugh. I smiled when someone made a joke. I pretended everything was fine.

But deep down, I was fighting a battle no one could see.

Depression.

Anxiety.

Loneliness.

I sat on my bed that night, staring blankly at my phone screen.

There was nothing interesting on it.

I scrolled.

And scrolled.

And somehow, every video became more boring than the last.

Eventually, even holding my phone felt exhausting.

I locked the screen and tossed it beside me before staring at the wall.

I was turning twenty-two soon.

Twenty-two.

Yet I had no idea where my life was going.

No vision.

No motivation.

No real reason to look forward to tomorrow.

I didn't even have a boyfriend.

And to make everything worse, I was studying a course I had never wanted in the first place.

It was the course my father had chosen for me.

I swallowed hard.

Should I just end everything?

Would it finally feel peaceful?

For a moment, the thought seemed almost comforting.

Then another thought interrupted it.

Mom.

I closed my eyes.

Mom would be disappointed in you, Aria.

She had spent so much on my education. She had sacrificed so much just to keep me in school.

I was already so close to the finish line.

Why give up now?

That thought had always been there.

It came whenever I felt like I couldn't take another step.

But somehow, it was never enough to cure the emptiness inside me.

I cried.

Not for a few minutes.

Not for an hour.

I cried until my eyes burned and my chest hurt.

For almost two hours, I let everything I had been holding inside spill out.

Eventually, I wiped my face and forced myself out of bed.

I needed air.

Maybe going outside would help.

Maybe I could figure out something to eat while I was at it.

Although, honestly, I had no appetite.

I bought a few snacks anyway. At least I wouldn't go to bed completely hungry.

When I returned to my room, I turned on my phone and opened one of the few things that could temporarily make me forget reality.

K-dramas.

They had always been my escape.

Whenever the real world became unbearable, I could disappear into someone else's for a few hours.

I hoped it would work again tonight.

And somehow, it did.

I watched one episode.

Then another.

Then another.

Before I knew it, it was midnight.

I had a 7:30 a.m. lecture the next morning.

"I'm definitely going to regret this."

I dropped my phone beside me, pulled the blanket over myself and closed my eyes.

Sleep came quickly.

---

The Next Morning

I woke up feeling like I had barely slept.

I dragged myself into the bathroom, took a shower and got dressed for class.

I tied my hair up so it wouldn't get in the way while I took notes.

Then I grabbed my glasses.

I couldn't afford to forget those.

Without them, my eyesight became a personal battle.

I laughed quietly at myself.

"I'm literally fighting for my life just trying to see the board."

By the time I reached the entrance of my department, I spotted two familiar faces.

Elizabeth.

Eisa.

My only friends.

"Aria!"

I looked up and smiled.

"Hey."

We walked into the lecture hall together and took our usual seats near the window.

Our regular position.

For a few hours, I managed to forget everything else.

When the lecture ended, I went home.

That was basically my life.

School.

Home.

Movies.

TikTok.

Repeat.

I didn't have anywhere special to go or anything particularly exciting waiting for me.

Sometimes, when I had enough energy, I'd step outside and talk to the neighbours for a while.

Then I'd return to my room and disappear into movies and TikTok again.

It wasn't exactly a life.

But it was mine.

---

It was a Saturday morning when I called my mum.

I needed money for my Social Management textbook.

I stared at my phone for a few seconds before finally pressing the call button.

She picked up.

"Hello?"

The moment I heard her voice, something felt wrong.

Her voice sounded weak.

Tired.

"Mom... are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she replied quickly. "I'm just under the weather. Nothing serious."

I went quiet.

I had called because I needed money.

But suddenly, I couldn't bring myself to ask.

"Okay, Mom. No problem. I'll call you later in the evening."

"Alright, dear."

The call ended.

I placed my phone on the bed and stared at it.

Then I felt the tears gathering behind my eyes.

I blinked rapidly, trying to hold them back.

I couldn't ask her for money.

Not when she already sounded like she was struggling.

I had tried looking for a job before, but finding a part-time job that would fit around my lectures seemed almost impossible.

So once again, I picked up my phone.

TikTok.

My usual escape.

I scrolled through a few videos without really paying attention to any of them.

Then I saw a picture.

A quote was written across it.

«The only reason to look back is to see how far you've come. The future is going to be okay.»

I don't know why that particular quote caught my attention.

Maybe I needed to hear it.

Maybe I was simply desperate for something—anything—that would make me believe tomorrow could be different.

Then I noticed the name written beneath the quote.

Han So Jiye.

I had never heard the name before.

Curious, I searched for her.

And that simple search changed my life.

I didn't know it yet.

I didn't know that the girl staring back at me from my phone screen would eventually become the person I loved most.

The person I wished I could protect.

The person whose pain I desperately wanted to take away.

My escape.

My obsession.

My Saviour.

Han So Jiye.