Mine

Here I was looking at the child that I had given birth to a few hours ago. She was little and so precious... a gift that I didn't deserve. You see, nine months ago I decided to have a one-night stand. I didn't even know the man's real name. When I found out I was pregnant, I tried my best to kill the child, but she survived it all, and now I was trying to decide whether to keep her or give her away.

I wasn't ready for a child, nor did I want one... not this early, but someone thought that I did. She was a part of me, and I didn't think I wanted to let her go...

"Ms. Stevenson, have you made your decision yet?"

"No, can I have the night to think it over? It's hard to decide."

"I see the way you look at her. That’s love... don't do something that you will regret in the future." The nurse spoke before leaving the room. She gave me something to think about, and I did love my child. I mean, she grew in my womb for nine months. I was attached to her. So, I had a decision to make, and it was leaning toward keeping her.

"You're a little cutie, and to think I could give you away. I can't do that, Zaveah." I spoke as I picked her up and held her in my arms for the first time as she opened her eyes. They were the same as mine. She had one blue eye and one brown, and I knew that was a sign. After that, it was hard to put her down.

But now I had a problem: I hadn't bought her anything because I thought I had chosen to give her away. I had to make a move, and I had to do it fast, so I called the one person I hated to ask anything, but I sucked it up and put on my big girl panties and called my Mom.

"Mom, I need a favor."

"Zaliyah, I haven't heard from you in months. Now you call for a favor. Child, you have money...."

"I had a baby!"

"Excuse me? What the hell are you talking about? You had a baby? By whom? Is this the reason you've been hiding from me for all these months? What do you need?"

I sighed, knowing Mom was about to curse me out when I told her everything because I wasn't planning on keeping her. I stayed away all those months because I knew she would try to talk me out of giving her away. However, I was the one who decided it.

"Everything. I wasn't planning on keeping her, but I can't let her go."

"Fine, I have a nursery set up here, and I’ll bring a car seat and clothes to the hospital."

"Wait, why there? I'm perfectly fine to go home." I argued, but it was a lost cause. In the end, Mom won, and now I had to listen to her and Dad yell at me because I risked my health and more.

"Good morning, Zaliyah. I will be your nurse today. My name is Tanya... may I?" She points at Zaveah; I nod, and she walks over, checking her as she talks to Veah and me.

"Have you made your decision?"

"I'm going to keep her."

"Great choice, babies need their mothers, and she's a precious baby girl. Did they tell you that you will be released today?"

"They did, and my Mom is on the way with everything I need." After our talk, I took Zaveah into my arms as the nurse asked whether I wanted to breastfeed or bottle. She was getting bottle fed, and I would like it to stay that way and an hour later, Mom showed up. She didn't ask me anything as she quickly walked over to Zaveah, taking her in her arms.

"I remember when you and your siblings were this little. All I could do was hold you and rock y'all in my arms. Zaliyah, whose the father?"

"I don't know."

"Zaliyah... you know what? I don't care. This little bundle of joy is going to be spoiled; your mother won't be able to stand it. You're Grandma's little angel. Her name."

"Zaveah Nicole Stevenson."

"I love it. Thank you for giving me this great joy. But I am still disappointed in you Zaliyah. How don't you know who her father is? Were you sleeping with multiple men?"

"No... It's hard to explain." I said as she looked at me with that disappointed look that made me feel like a little girl again. How could I tell her I had a one-night stand with a man I didn't know? I didn't even remember the name he gave me. All I know is he lied about the condom, and nine months later, I was holding his daughter in my arms.

"You're going to have to tell me one way or another, but I'll leave it alone for now. Let's get you home." Yeah, she meant her home somewhere I didn't want to be because of Dad and his orders. I was going to try to tell him what happened, and I knew how he got mad.

"I'd rather go home. I know how Dad is, and I don't have the time to argue with him. You can still help me..."

"That's where I'm taking you. I should have told you I wanted to surprise you... And I'll be staying there to help you with Zaveah. You must remember your siblings, and I will always have your back." I spoke as I saw the bruises on her arms. He was still beating her, and she chose to stay.

You should make it permanent. I'm going to need a lot of help; you and Dad had six of us."

"Funny, but I got to go back home sooner or later, but for now I'll take you up on your offer." I was happy to hear that I needed all the help I could get because I didn't know what the hell I was doing.

I needed her to teach me what I should and shouldn't do, and how I could keep my house in order. She knew I had to keep things in a certain order or I would freak out.

"Oh, this house is going to have to be baby-proof. It has too many things that could break or hurt her. You and I are going to have to go through that." That I knew, but I didn't know what I should get rid of because I loved my things. Nevertheless, I had to get rid of it before Zaveah started to explore.

"I know, but I wasn't planning on keeping her, but after holding her and seeing her eyes. I saw that she was a part of me, and I couldn’t allow someone else to raise her because of my mistake and in the end, I would be looking at every little girl thinking she was mine. I sound crazy, don't I?"

"No, you sound like a mother who loves her child." She spoke as someone knocked on my door. I was sure it was one of my siblings, but to my surprise, it was my best friend, with an armful of baby clothes in hand.

"Girl, when you told me you were going to keep the baby, I thought your ass was lying, but when I found out for sure, I had to spoil my niece. Where is she? I need to hold her." Mom and I both laugh as I turn the car seat around, causing her to drop everything to pick her up.

"It's not my business, but please tell me she’s not his."

"Eric's? Hell no, and I don't want to talk about it." I knew what she was doing and it wasn’t going to work. She knew I was embarrassed about how I became pregnant, which led to me having her, but I was more ashamed of thinking about giving her away. But was I ready to tell my friend the full story of what happened yet? No. It was hard to trust Mom with that information, and I know she wouldn't tell anyone it was just my shame.

"Girl, you know I got your back. I don't care how you got pregnant, but I'm pissed that it took you six months to tell me. Or that I didn't notice... I'm a bad friend, aren’t I?"

“Wait she knew and you didn’t tell me?”

"No, I didn't want you to know. I didn't want anyone to know at first. However, my little bundle of joy is home, and I'm going to need all the help..."

"Yes, I will move in with you!"

"That will not be needed. Zaliyah has all the help she needs, and what she needs is her family." Leiana spoke, and Ember and I looked at each other, then at her. I didn't ask her to be here, but I knew once they learned I had a baby, they'd be here. I thought Mom would give me a few days before she opened her big mouth, which also meant Dad knew.

"Not to be rude or anything, Ember, but what Leiana was trying to say was that Zaliyah had her family to help with Baby Zaveah. However, you can come over anytime to help." Aulani said as she walked over to Ember with her hands out. I knew she couldn't wait to get her hands on her. Aulani and Leiana loved babies, but Leiana was having trouble conceiving.

"Leiana, you know you don’t have to do this. I know you and...."

"He left me, so let's not talk about that. I'd rather be here with you, helping with my niece, than thinking about the one thing a man wanted from me."

"I tried to tell you that," Aulani said as I shrugged. She spoke the truth, but Leiana could never see that. I know he would leave one day, and he did because of one stupid thing.

"Mom told us that you were planning on giving her up. I'm glad you didn't, because if you had, we wouldn't be able to hold this sweet baby girl. Did Mom tell you that she looks a lot like you when you were a baby? Plus, she has your beautiful eyes."

"I want to know who the father is? We know she's not Eric's because I'm quite sure she’s mixed or something."

"I’m going to ignore what you just said and say don’t start with me. I fucked up but you don’t have to rub it in my damn face Aulani. You want the best for me because I’m your little sister but that doesn’t mean you have to be so nosy about things. Put yourself in my shoes and I was the one questioning you about your child because the color of her skin. How would you feel? You’re not normally you’re not the who says shit to put someone else down. You always was in my corner. Can you just be my sister today and stop being a hypocrite? Neither of us are on a pedestal.” I must have been having mood swings still because I never argued with Aulani but today she was pissing me off. She wasn’t acting like herself

"This is why the four of us cannot be in the same room now. Two of you are always fighting...."

“Shut The Fuck Up Onyx!” The two of us yelled. No one could say anything around him and like Aulani he was always saying something to piss one of us off. “We can get along as long as y’all can keep your mouths shut. Plus, it’s about how one of us always start cussing out the damn problem in the room. Today that problem is Aulani. Look I love that you want to stay here Aulani, but you have other responsibilities so Leiana and Ember will be fine." Really, I didn't want trying to take over. It was all she knew how to do maybe because she was the eldest girl and in her mind Leiana and I were her children.

"I know exactly what you’re trying to say, and that's okay. I know when I'm not wanted. All I was trying to do was help my little sister which I’ve been doing from the beginning of your pregnancy, but you rather have her here to help instead.”

"Ember been here from the beginning as well. You were the only too who knew and you know it. I’m not trying to upset you, but facts are facts and right now you’re not thinking about the bigger picture. I’m living in a three-bedroom apartment. If I allow you and Leiana to come you both will be fighting. Then I know you; you would be trying to take over my duties. Veah is my baby and I need to learn how to take care of her. Not… I was out of line a few moments ago, but you need to learn when to leave things along. I told you from the beginning that I didn’t remember much from that night. I was drunk…. Just earn to stop questioning people. I love you, but you're nosy as hell."