Chapter 1 A girl with a big dream 😇
The alarm went off at 5 a.m.
She opened her eyes and looked at the clock. For a few seconds, she stayed in bed, thinking about the day ahead. Then she got up, folded her blanket, washed her face, and went to help her mother.
The house was quiet in the morning. She helped with the small household work, filled the water bottles, packed her school bag, and got ready for school.
It was a normal morning, just like every other morning.
She was seventeen years old and came from a simple middle-class family. Her parents worked hard and wanted their children to have a better life. They believed that education was the best way to build a good future.
That was why they had sent her to an English-medium school.
They often reminded her of it.
“We are giving you a good education.”
“We did not get these opportunities when we were your age.”
“You should make good use of what you have.”
She understood what they meant. She knew that her parents were spending money on her education because they wanted her to do well.
But knowing that did not make things easier.
She tried to study, but she often struggled to stay interested. She would sit with her books, read a few pages, and then suddenly find herself thinking about something completely different.
Sometimes she wanted to study.
She really did.
But she could not always make herself focus.
English was another problem.
She could understand many simple things, but speaking English confidently was difficult for her. She was always afraid of making a mistake.
Before speaking, she would think,
Is this the right word?
What if I say it wrong?
What will they think about me?
Because of this, she often stayed quiet even when she had something to say.
Her problems were not only about school.
She was confused about many things in life.
She wanted to be a good daughter. She wanted her family to be proud of her. She wanted people to like her. She wanted to be helpful and kind.
But she also made mistakes.
Sometimes she forgot something.
Sometimes she misunderstood what someone meant.
Sometimes she tried to help someone but ended up creating another problem.
And whenever something went wrong, she blamed herself.
People did not always understand her.
Some people thought she was pretending to be innocent.
Others said, “You should understand these things by now.”
Sometimes they told her, “You cannot be this innocent all the time.”
She never knew how to explain herself.
She was not acting.
She simply did not always understand people or situations the way others expected her to.
Because of this, she started thinking too much before making even small decisions.
Should I say this?
Should I do that?
Will they get angry?
What if they don't like it?
She always thought about other people first.
Slowly, she started forgetting to ask herself what she wanted.
Every morning, she made a promise.
“Today will be different.”
Today she would study properly.
Today she would speak more confidently.
Today she would not make mistakes.
Today she would make her family proud.
But somehow, the day never went exactly as she planned.
Then came the exam results.
She came home with her result in her school bag.
She already knew her marks were not good enough.
When her parents saw them, the questions started.
“Look at your cousins.”
“They studied in Hindi-medium schools, and they are still doing better than you.”
“We are spending so much money on your education.”
“And what are we getting?”
“Your English is still not good.”
“Your performance is not improving.”
“If you continue like this, how will you get a good and stable job?”
She stood there quietly.
She wanted to explain.
She wanted to say that she was trying.
She wanted to say that she also wanted to do well.
But she did not know how to explain what was happening inside her.
So she stayed silent.
After a while, she went to her room.
She closed the door and sat near the window.
Her books were on the table. Her school bag was lying on the floor. Her result was still in her hand.
She looked at it for a few seconds and then placed it on the table.
She felt tired.
Not only because of the result.
She was tired of always feeling like she was behind everyone else.
Tired of comparisons.
Tired of thinking about every small mistake.
Tired of trying to be good enough for everyone.
She looked outside the window.
The evening sky was slowly changing.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
And then, as always, her mind took her somewhere else.
Her room disappeared.
The noise disappeared.
The pressure disappeared.
She entered her own world.
A world she had created inside her mind.
There, everything was different.
She was confident.
She could speak English without fear.
She studied what she liked.
She had a career she was proud of.
She could make her own decisions.
Nobody compared her with anyone.
Nobody made her feel that she was not good enough.
She imagined a peaceful home where people listened to her.
She imagined a family that understood her.
She imagined a future where she was independent, respected, and happy.
She even imagined meeting people who would accept her for who she was instead of judging her by her mistakes.
In that world, she did not have to worry about every little thing.
She could simply be herself.
For a few minutes, everything felt perfect.
Then she heard her mother calling her from outside.
She opened her eyes.
The beautiful world disappeared.
She was back in her small room.
Her books were still on the table.
Her result was still there.
Nothing in real life had changed.
She looked out of the window again.
A small thought came into her mind.
“Can I ever bring this beautiful world into my real life?”
She stayed quiet for a moment.
Then she asked herself,
“If I can… how?”
She did not know the answer.
Not yet.
But somewhere inside her, she wanted to find it.
And maybe that question was the first step toward changing everything.
