Breathe

Breathe in, breathe out. Darkness. That's all I see. No light. No sound. Total solitude. I can't move. My body is numb. I open my eyes, but there is nothing to see. I let my thoughts roam.

In my mind, I see green fields and a bright blue sky. White fluffy clouds float across my vision high above me and trees dot the Earth. I stand in the middle of this beauty and I don’t move. I won’t disrupt the peace this land has. Breathe in, breathe out.

Peace, what an unusual concept. I’ve never had that feeling before, which is strange. One would think I would have peace if I was just lying in the dark alone. One would think the silence is peaceful. The solitude calming. It’s not. Peace is when you feel the safest and have no worries. That Darkness has no Peace. Breathe in, breathe out.

I strain my ears to hear any sounds around me. There is nothing to hear but myself breathing. I sigh. My mind can create the most beautiful and realistic scene, but there is nothing to hear. Just like that room. In that Darkness. Breathe in, breathe out. Why do I even try anymore? One would think the total silence and solitude would cause a frail being like me to go mad. I have not. I have kept my sanity through these visions I create in my mind’s eye and tell stories to myself. Not vocally of course. Even if I could speak, they would hear me. Breathe in, breathe-!

A gasp escaped me as my eyes flashed open in a panic. My chest was on fire, pain searing through my entire body, the burning spreading to every nerve. A body was above me, its face looking down at me as it held itself above my own form. Darkness covered his features from me, but I could feel his hot breath on my face as he breathed heavily, my bare skin touching rough cloth. I felt the sharp blade move within my flesh, the metal twisting, tearing muscle and skin, blood pouring out of the wound. Breathe in, cough, breathe out.

Precious ichor seeped from the violent wound, the dark garnet liquid soaking my bare skin. Why is this happening? Did I do something to anger them? I… I can’t breathe. I’m choking on my won blood. Cough! Cough! I need to breathe! I try moving my arms to push the attacker off of me but I can’t. I can’t move. Why did I even try? Wasn’t this what I was waiting for? I wasn’t expecting this… this pain. This torture.

Cough, breathe in, cough. This is it. I’m going to die. I am finally going to be free. Free to roam perfect green fields. Free to chase any small animal as I please. Free to do anything I wanted. Free to be with my family once again. Free.

Cough, cough. I feel the darkness pulling at my mind but it wasn’t familiar to the Darkness that surrounded me. Instead, this darkness was peaceful. Calm. Comforting. So unlike the room I was dying in. I was with my family. My long dead family. Running in green fields. Laughing. Smiling. Happy. Alive. I want to join them. I will join them. I see them waving at me, my little brother and sister, my parents smiling at me with their arms around one another. My eyes close and the peace swallows me. Breathe in, breathe out.