From the Ashes

Prologue

“How did I miss the signs? How did this happen?” Paula kept repeating these questions repeatedly in her mind. Laying in the bed she shared with her husband of almost twenty years and not only unsure of the answers to the questions running through her mind but having no idea what to do next.

They had been high school sweethearts that got married right out of high school at eighteen years old. She had found out she was pregnant with Ryan right before the wedding. But they were getting married before they knew about the baby.

It was one cold fall night and Paula’s husband Malcolm was out with his friends, or so she thought. She was up on the home computer working when she found the photos. Malcolm and some woman in a hotel room. The dates of the photos showed that the pictures were taken the weekend of his business trip to Hartford, Connecticut. Shock flowed, then denial and then the ‘why question’ was shouting at her. It was in what seemed like a split-second that all these emotions and questions hit at the same time. What if one of their kids had found the photos while doing their homework? It’s almost Christmas, Do I leave, or do I stay? Do I confront him before or after the holidays? Then do I leave after I confront him or stay and fight for my husband, my family, and my marriage? But I don’t believe in divorce.

The pressure of all the emotions started taking place. The anxiety was overwhelming. The questions kept coming. What do I tell my kids? What do I tell my family, and my friends? How do I tell everyone that my husband had an affair and my marriage is over, my family is destroyed, and I don’t know what to do? Why do I feel so ashamed about his indiscretion?

Just make some decisions Paula. She kept telling herself. Decide and stick to it. Decide and start the healing process. And why do I feel so ashamed of his indiscretion? As she said the words to heal and move on, she knew she wasn’t close to being ready to accept what she was seeing, much less make any decisions and start healing.

Three days later, she made one decision, it wasn’t all the decisions she needed to make, but she chose to wait to tell him that she knew. She would wait and confront him until after the holidays.