Chapter 1 : moving
The house looked strangely empty without all the things that had made it ours.
My bedroom was the worst of it. The walls that had once been covered with photographs, little decorations, and things I'd collected without even remembering why were almost completely bare. Boxes were stacked against the walls, my clothes were folded into suitcases, and my desk looked unfamiliar without the usual mess covering it.
I stood in the middle of the room, turning slowly as I tried to decide whether I was actually going to miss this place.
I'd lived in Texas for as long as I could remember. It was the only home I'd ever really known, and now, after graduating high school, I was leaving it behind.
Not because I wanted to.
At least, not completely.
"Oklahoma," I muttered to myself.
Even saying the word felt weird.
Five hours away.
Dad had repeated that part enough times over the past few weeks. Five hours wasn't that far. We could come back whenever we wanted. It wasn't like we were moving across the country.
But five hours was still five hours.
It meant leaving the people I knew, the streets I could drive through without thinking, my favorite café, and the little park I'd practically grown up in. It meant starting college somewhere I had never even imagined living.
And, apparently, it meant moving into a house that had been sitting there for years after a fire.
I didn't know much about the house.
I'd seen old pictures of it once or twice, but Dad never really talked about it. Whenever I asked, he'd simply say that it had been badly damaged in a fire when I was little and that the family had left Oklahoma afterward.
Now it had been renovated.
According to Dad, it barely looked like the same house anymore.
I wasn't sure whether that was supposed to make me feel better.
A knock came at my door.
Before I could answer, John pushed it open.
He stood there in his little shorts, holding his stuffed dinosaur by one leg.
"Lexi."
I smiled. "What's up?"
He walked inside without answering and looked around my room.
"Dino wants to see."
I raised an eyebrow. "Dino wants to see my room?"
John nodded.
I crouched down so we were at the same height.
"Well, Dino has excellent timing. I'm almost finished."
He looked at the boxes.
"All?"
"Almost."
He thought about that for a moment.
"Where's my box?"
I laughed. "You don't have a box."
"Why?"
"Because you're coming with us."
His face brightened.
"Yes."
"Unfortunately."
He frowned.
I smiled and ruffled his hair.
John was only three, which meant he didn't understand why everyone had been so stressed lately. He didn't understand why Dad had been working late or why Kristine had spent days organizing things around the house. He certainly didn't understand why I had been walking around with the strange feeling that I was leaving something behind.
But maybe that was a good thing.
At three years old, the biggest problem in John's life was whether Dino got to sit in the front seat.
"Lexi!"
I looked toward the doorway.
Mom stood there.
"Your father said the car is almost ready."
"Okay."
She looked at the suitcase beside me.
"Is that everything?"
I glanced around.
"Yes."
She raised an eyebrow.
I knew that look.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"No, what?"
She sighed. "You said the same thing yesterday."
"Because it was true yesterday."
"And then you found another three bags."
"They were important."
"Of course they were."
I crossed my arms.
"They were books."
"You have enough books."
"Nobody has enough books."
John looked between us.
"Books?"
I smiled at him.
"Exactly. Books are important."
She shook her head.
"You two are going to be impossible."
She turned toward the hallway.
"Ten minutes, Lexi."
"I'll be down."
She left.
I waited until she was gone before making a face.
John copied me.
I laughed.
"Don't do that."
He immediately did it again.
I picked up one of my pillows and threw it gently at him.
He squealed and ran out of the room.
"John!"
His laughter echoed down the hallway.
For a second, I forgot about moving.
Then I heard mom's voice from downstairs.
"John, don't run!"
His footsteps became even louder.
I smiled to myself and grabbed my last bag.
My relationship with my mom had always been complicated.
I didn't hate her.
That was the problem.
Hating someone would have been easier.
She had been there for most of my childhood. She knew what food I hated, what time I liked to wake up, which subjects I was terrible at, and exactly how annoyed I'd get when she told me to clean my room.
She cared.
I knew she cared.
Sometimes I just didn't want her to.
There were moments when I wished she'd stop trying to be involved in every little thing I did. Especially now that I was eighteen and starting college.
I didn't need someone constantly reminding me what I should and shouldn't be doing.
And she had a way of making even simple conversations feel like arguments.
I picked up my suitcase and carried it downstairs.
The living room looked almost unrecognizable.
Boxes covered the floor, furniture had been moved around, and the walls looked strangely bare.
Dad was standing near the front door, checking his phone.
He looked up when he saw me.
"Finally."
I smiled. "You're welcome."
He laughed.
"You ready?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Not really."
"Then yes."
He took the suitcase from me.
"I'll get this."
"I can carry it."
"I know."
He carried it anyway.
Dad had always been like that.
He could be serious, distracted, and completely consumed by his work, but whenever he was around me or John, he tried to make time.
Being a detective probably didn't make that easy.
His phone buzzed.
He glanced at it.
I watched his expression change.
"Work?"
"Yeah."
"Already?"
He put the phone away.
"Just a message."
I knew better than to ask.
Dad had been working on a case in Oklahoma for a while. That was the main reason we were moving. He said it would be easier to handle everything if we were actually there instead of him constantly driving back and forth.
I didn't really understand why the case was important enough for him to uproot all of us.
But whenever I asked, he'd say the same thing.
"It's complicated."
That phrase was practically his favorite.
"Are you sure about this?" I asked.
He looked at me.
"About what?"
"Oklahoma."
For a moment, he didn't answer.
Then he smiled.
"It'll be good for us."
"That's what everyone keeps saying."
"Because it's true."
I looked toward the window.
The Texas afternoon was bright and warm, exactly the way I expected it to be.
"I've never even lived there."
"You'll get used to it."
"And college?"
"You'll get used to that too."
"And the house?"
His smile faded slightly.
"The house has been renovated."
"I know."
"It'll be different."
"I know."
He studied my face.
"You'll like it."
I wasn't convinced.
But I nodded anyway.
"Okay."
A small voice came from behind us.
"Go!"
John stood beside the door wearing his tiny backpack.
Dad looked down at him.
"Are you ready?"
John nodded enthusiastically.
"Dino ready."
"Of course Dino's ready."
Kristine came downstairs carrying a handbag.
"Everything is in the car."
I looked at her.
"Everything?"
"Everything."
I narrowed my eyes.
She smiled slightly.
"Yes, Lexi. Your books are there too."
I smiled despite myself.
"Good."
We stepped outside.
I stood on the driveway for a moment, looking at the house.
I hadn't expected leaving to feel like this.
There was no dramatic goodbye. No tears. No sudden realization that I was going to miss everything.
Just an uncomfortable emptiness.
Like I was supposed to feel something bigger.
Maybe I would later.
Maybe I wouldn't.
Dad locked the front door.
"Lexi?"
I looked at him.
"Coming."
I opened the car door and climbed in.
John was already in his seat, holding Dino against his chest. Mom sat in the front beside Dad, and I settled into the back.
A few minutes later, the engine started.
The house became smaller as we drove away.
I watched it through the window until I couldn't see it anymore.
Then I turned around.
Texas disappeared behind us.
Oklahoma was five hours ahead.
And I had absolutely no idea what kind of life was waiting for me there.
