Chapter 1
Confused Love
Jay was a typical teenage boy—careless, messy with his feelings, and constantly changing his mind. One moment he wanted one thing, and the next, he wanted something completely different. He could never just stand firm on a single choice.
Then came a girl who was everything he wasn't. Anushka was sincere, focused, and always had a bright, playful smile. It wasn't love at first sight, but as days went by, he found himself drawn to her. True to his nature, though, he couldn't figure out his own heart. Was it a real crush? Was it just a strong attraction? Or was she simply a very dear friend?
He loved looking at her. Whenever she walked past, his eyes would get completely glued to her, unable to look away. And every single time she noticed him watching, she would give him a soft, warm smile that made his heart leap.
Because he liked her so much, he started looking for any small excuse just to catch a glimpse of her. One day, he gave her a delicate bracelet—a small gift that brought a real, bright smile to her face. In return, she gave him a keychain with the first letter of her name on it. He held onto it like it was his most precious possession.
Yet, things weren't always smooth between them. On her birthday, he sent her a message online, but when she was standing right in front of him in the room, he couldn’t bring himself to wish her out loud. She felt hurt and distant. When he later asked why she was upset, she looked at him and said softly that when a friend is right there in front of you, a real wish in person means so much more than a plain text on a screen. Still, she didn't stay mad at him. When his birthday arrived, she went out of her way to wish him seven times throughout the day, leaving him feeling deeply cared for and no longer alone.
On another day, during a school trip, she asked to take a photo together. But a sudden rush of extreme shyness came over him, and he panicked, saying no. The moment passed, but a sharp feeling of guilt stayed in his chest. He kept asking himself over and over, Why did I say no? Why did I push her away?
After that, he fought a daily battle with his own mind. A part of him felt he was on the wrong path and needed to step back. 'Why are you changing?' his mind kept telling him. 'Just be free, ignore her, and stop replying to her texts.' But his heart simply wouldn't listen. No matter how hard he tried to distance himself, the moment he saw her face or felt his phone buzz with a message from her, all his rules melted away—and he would instantly text her back.
He spent an entire month trapped in this roller coaster of feelings, wondering if she felt something special too, or if he was just another good friend.
Finally, one day, he decided he had had enough of running away from his thoughts. He wanted to make one clear decision and stick to it. He walked up to her in the school lobby, took a deep breath, and let out the words he had been holding in.
Jay: "I think I have a crush on you, or maybe... I love you. I know this might hurt you, make you sad, or even make you angry with me. I already know your answer is 'no'... so you can just ignore me."
The girl looked at him calmly, a warm, sweet smile spreading across her face.
Anushka : "Hatt yaarr, why are you talking like this? We are just good friends."
As she walked away, something unexpected happened: a wave of deep relief washed over him. He didn't feel broken, and he didn't feel angry. For the first time in a very long time, his mind was completely quiet. The heavy fog of overthinking was finally gone.
He had faced his fear, stopped running, and found the truth. Life doesn't always go the way we hope, and expectations will not always be on your side. But as he stood there watching her walk away, he realized that losing an expectation gives you something even better—it gives you the freedom to finally be at peace with yourself.
