Am I a Boomer, or Am I Getting Old? I

Am I a Boomer, or Am I Getting Old?

I have always found people fascinating.

One of my favourite things to do, especially when I am out on my own, is simply to observe them. Not judge them. Just watch.

Over the years, malls, restaurants and food courts have given me quite a collection of little human stories.

And lately, I have been wondering:

Am I a boomer, or am I getting old?

When I was young, even talking to a boy was enough to make parents nervous.

If school ended at 4.30 and I reached home at 5.10, there had better be a convincing explanation ready.

“Two buses went by, Amma…”

“That bus was full…”

“I had some extra class…”

Dating? Romance? Forget it.

Love existed, of course. But it had a certain choreography.

I remember schoolboys and girls walking together, but never too together.

The boy would walk with his bicycle. The girl would walk beside him. A friend would trail a few steps behind.

The first ever human privacy screen.

There was something rather beautiful about that distance.

Even old Tamil films understood it.

A hero looks at the heroine.

She looks away shyly.

Two flowers move in the background.

That’s it.

That tiny suggestion could create more excitement than showing everything.

Today, sometimes I watch a romantic scene and think:

“Oh. Okay. So this is happening. What next?”

Maybe I really do belong to the old school.

But I don’t mean the old school of “the husband should control the wife” or “women should stay within limits.”

Absolutely not.

What I miss is something else.

Tenderness.

That quiet glance between a husband and wife in a crowded place.

The unspoken question:

“Tea?”

“Coffee?”

“Shall we eat something?”

Sometimes two people who have lived together for years can say an entire sentence without saying a word.

A small smile.

A familiar gesture.

A quick glance across a crowded room.

That, to me, is romance.

I see young couples today who are completely comfortable being themselves in public. College students and working youngsters hold hands, laugh, eat and walk around together.

Good for them.

They are adults. Life has changed.

But occasionally I see very young schoolchildren doing the same thing, sometimes on weekday afternoons. They look far too young to be wandering around a mall by themselves.

Where did they get the money?

Where are the parents?

And when did childhood become so adult?

I don't have the answers.

Movies, social media, longer working hours, smaller families, instant information. All of them may play a part.

But I am not writing this to blame any generation.

Because in the same places, I also see something that makes me genuinely happy.

Older couples, well into their sixties and seventies, sitting quietly together.

Discussing their children.

Sharing a meal.

Shopping together.

Looking after each other.

For their generation, taking a spouse out for coffee or a meal may have been a luxury. There were no malls, no food courts, no weekend culture of “let’s go out.”

And yet here they are.

Still together.

Still talking.

Still looking after each other.

That, honestly, makes me happy.

At the same time, I notice another kind of relationship.

People who are married but looking outside the marriage for companionship, excitement or affection.

I am not saying they don't have reasons. Of course they do.

But somewhere along the way, cheating has become easier to explain.

“My family is happy.”

“I take care of my husband.”

“I take care of my wife.”

“I want my own life.”

“We are both adults. What’s wrong with having some fun?”

Maybe society has changed.

Maybe loneliness has become harder to tolerate.

But I still believe one thing.

If a marriage no longer works, honesty is kinder than deception.

Leave.

Separate.

Start again.

Stay alone.

Anything is better than making another person live inside a lie.

And yes, I know what some people would say.

“You are a boomer.”

Maybe.

Or maybe I am simply from a generation that still believes a good heart matters.

More than good looks.

More than a good bike or car.

More than the ability to spend money.

More than the ability to provide a weekend outing.

Does a good heart still have a market?

I don't know.

But for me, it does.

I don't think freedom is the problem.

I think the real question is what we do with that freedom.

So perhaps I am a boomer.

Or perhaps I am getting old.

Either way, I can live with it.

Especially with my favourite cup of coffee in my hand.

I accept it happily. ☕

Have you ever felt this shift while watching the world around you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts over a cup of coffee.

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Disclaimer: This piece is based entirely on my personal observations and experiences. It is not intended to point to, identify, or comment on any particular person.