Red Butterfly Web

It was a cold winter night, and snow-white flakes had begun to dance through the air. The first snowfall of the year. I watched as they quietly, confidently covered the landscape and… me.

There I lay on the freezing ground, soaked in my own blood. Alone.

I felt no pain; my body was already far too weak and numb for that. I could not move, but I no longer tried. I felt life slowly draining out of me.

They say that, before death, your life flashes before your eyes. I waited for the film too, but inside me, there was only rage and venom. It churned within me like scorching lava that no longer had time to erupt—and that only made the hatred inside me grow even greater!

I looked at the icy lake before me, now covered in snow. It was here that I had met him, when I was just a tiny girl. If only I had known then what I know now… I would never have saved him. I would have let fate decide his life instead of mine.

I felt a slight tug deep inside me, like when you catch the petal of a dandelion and it holds on for just one more moment.

My time had come.

If I had one more chance…

I would never let them trample me like this again. Perhaps I would still end up here, choking on my own blood. But I would make sure they were choking beside me!

Blood welled at the corner of my mouth and spilled onto the frozen ground, forming the grotesque shape of a butterfly in the snow.

Then, somewhere deep inside me, that petal finally tore free, and I… came to rest upon the cold earth, twenty-one grams lighter.

***

I woke in a dark room, drenched in sweat. Instinctively, I reached for my stomach, but there was no sticky wetness beneath my fingers, no pain. I slowly looked around.

I knew this room.

How did I get here?

I climbed out of bed and walked towards the chair by the window. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

There was Mimo, sprawled across it—my old, floppy-eared friend.

Mum had sewn the white rabbit for me herself, with long, drooping pink and green plaid ears.

I picked him up and held him tightly against my chest. I hadn’t seen him in nearly fifteen years. Not since the fire. Tears began to stream down my face. I looked around the room again.

This is a strange dream.

I was in my old room.

I looked out the window and saw our old garden. There was my mother’s rose garden. My old swing. The maze.

I turned around, dumbfounded. Everything seemed so real, down to the tiniest detail.

I walked over to the mirror and looked into it.

A barefoot, blonde little girl stared back at me. She was wearing a white, floor-length nightdress with a lace-trimmed, embroidered collar and ruffled sleeves.

A white rag doll rabbit was clutched in her hands.

She had blue eyes.

And my face.

Or rather… my childhood face.

I touched the mirror, and the reflection did the same. I looked down at my hands. They were the tiny hands of a child. I looked at my reflection again.

How was this even possible?

Then, as I stood there in disbelief, the girl in the mirror slowly began to smile.

‘Are you happy with my gift?’

I screamed.

I stumbled backwards, trying to put as much distance as possible between myself and the mirror. The vision refused to disappear. She backed away as I did, watching me with a mocking expression.

I tripped over something and fell backwards.

The door suddenly flew open, and…

This can’t be!

‘Miss Evelyn! Oh, my dear child, what are you doing down there? Did you have a bad dream?’

I let her help me up, but by then I was certain I was dreaming.

Yet, I didn’t mind.

My nanny was here again, and who knows—if I don’t wake up, perhaps I could see my parents too.

‘Nana…’ I reached out hesitantly and touched her face. ‘I am so glad to see you again! I missed you so, so much!’

I threw myself into her arms and just cried and cried.

For so many years, I had prayed to see them again at least once, even if only in my dreams.

But it had never happened.

‘Miss Evelyn, there’s nothing to worry about. It was only a bad dream.’ She stroked my back soothingly.

When my tears had finally stopped, Nana gently wiped my face with an embroidered handkerchief.

‘Now then, let’s get the little lady tucked back into bed.’ She coaxed me towards the bed.

‘Nana, will you stay with me?’

She looked at me in surprise but asked no questions. She simply sat down beside me on the bed.

‘I will.’ She brushed my hair behind my ear. ‘Now go to sleep. I’ll guard the dream gate, so nothing evil can get through.’

But I didn’t want to fall asleep. This was the best dream of my life, and I didn’t want to wake up from it.

I lay there with my eyes wide open, even though I was truly tired.

‘Close your eyes and try to rest.’ She looked at me with the same gentle expression I remembered.

My eyes filled with tears again.

‘Nana, I can’t. If I do, I’ll lose you again.’

She looked at me with concern and squeezed my hand.

‘Nonsense. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here when you wake up in the morning.’

‘Promise?’

‘I promise.’

And for some reason, I truly believed her.

I closed my eyes.

I was back at the lake.

I saw myself dying.

I saw the light slowly fade from my eyes as blood spilled from my mouth onto the snow with a faint, bubbling sound.

I felt the anger claw its way back to the surface.

Suddenly, a red butterfly caught my attention as it flew across the landscape and landed on the snow before me.

It fluttered its tiny wings, and I opened my eyes once more in my old bedroom.

‘Miss Evelyn, are you awake?’