ᕷ₊·ᩚ The Brother I Left Behind ₊·ᩚ 𐦍˖.
⊹ ₊⋆ ☁︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆₊⋆☁︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎ ⋆₊ ⊹
Zayn Hamdan had learned a long time ago that a quiet house was better than a happy one.
At least a quiet house didn’t promise anything.
His house was small, but it was his.
Everything had its place. The shoes were lined neatly beside the front door. The kitchen counters were clear. The books on the shelves were arranged in a way that made sense to him. There were no family photographs covering the walls, no old childhood drawings stuck to the fridge, no reminders of birthdays that had gone wrong or holidays that had ended in arguments.
Nothing here belonged to anyone but him.
And that was exactly how Zayn liked it.
He had spent years making sure of that.
His phone began ringing on the kitchen counter.
Zayn glanced at the screen.
Mum.
His expression immediately hardened.
He let it ring.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
He picked it up just before it stopped.
Zayn - “Hello.”
“Zayn.”
His mother’s voice sounded cheerful.
Too cheerful.
Zayn - “Hi, Mum.”
“How are you?”
Zayn - “Fine.”
“You sound tired.”
Zayn - “I’m not.”
There was a pause.
Zayn leaned against the kitchen counter.
He already knew something was coming.
His parents never called him just to talk.
Not anymore.
“Your father and I have been discussing something,” his mother said.
Zayn closed his eyes.
Of course.
Zayn - “What?”
“We’re going abroad.”
He opened his eyes again.
Zayn - “For how long?”
His mother hesitated.
“Well... that’s the thing.”
Zayn’s grip tightened around his phone.
Zayn - “How long?”
“We’re not completely sure yet.”
Zayn - “So you’re moving.”
“We’re going to spend some time there.”
Zayn - “That’s not what I asked.”
Another pause.
Then she sighed.
“We’re leaving in a few weeks.”
Zayn stared at the empty kitchen.
He didn’t feel surprised.
He didn’t even feel sad.
His parents had always been good at making decisions without him.
They had been doing it since he was a child.
“We’ll be taking Sami with us,” she continued.
Zayn said nothing.
“And that’s why we’re calling.”
There it was.
He almost laughed.
Zayn - “He’s staying here.”
“Yes.”
Zayn - “Then he’ll find somewhere to stay.”
“We thought he could stay with you.”
Zayn’s answer came immediately.
Zayn - “No.”
His mother went quiet.
“Zayn.”
Zayn - “No.”
“He’s your brother.”
Zayn’s jaw tightened.
Zayn - “Exactly.”
The words came out colder than he intended.
But he didn’t take them back.
His mother sighed.
“You’ve always been difficult about Sami.”
Zayn looked away.
There it was again.
Somehow, it was always him.
He had been difficult.
He had been angry.
He had been jealous.
He had been selfish.
Nobody ever seemed to ask why.
Nobody had asked why he stopped eating dinner with them.
Nobody had asked why he stopped talking.
Nobody had asked why he started staying out of the house until late just so he wouldn’t have to sit at the same table as them.
And nobody had asked why, when he finally left home, he never once looked back.
They had simply called him dramatic.
The truth was much uglier.
Zayn had spent most of his childhood feeling like he was competing in a competition he had never agreed to enter.
Sami didn’t even have to try.
That was the part Zayn hated most.
When Zayn got good grades, his parents asked why they weren’t better.
When Sami got an average grade, they celebrated.
When Zayn won something, his father nodded and told him to keep improving.
When Sami did something small, their mother told everyone how proud she was.
When Zayn was tired, he was told to push through it.
When Sami was tired, everyone made sure he rested.
When Zayn made a mistake, he was old enough to know better.
When Sami made the same mistake, he was still learning.
It had never been one huge moment.
It had been thousands of tiny ones.
Thousands of moments that slowly taught Zayn something he should never have had to learn as a child.
That he was expected to be strong because nobody intended to make room for him to be anything else.
And Sami?
Sami was always the one who needed looking after.
The one who needed protecting.
The one everyone worried about.
The one everyone chose.
Zayn knew it wasn’t Sami’s fault.
At least, the rational part of him knew.
But anger didn’t care about rationality.
Eventually, Zayn stopped seeing his little brother as just Sami.
He saw him as the reason.
The reason his parents never looked at him the same way.
The reason he was expected to understand everything.
The reason he was always told to be the mature one.
The reason he had to step aside.
And the worst part?
Sami had never understood any of it.
He had still followed Zayn around when they were younger.
Still asked him to play.
Still knocked on his bedroom door.
Still smiled at him.
Still called him his big brother as though those words meant something warm.
Zayn had hated that.
Because every time Sami smiled at him, Zayn remembered that he was supposed to love him.
And every time he looked at Sami, he remembered how little love he felt he’d received himself.
So eventually, Zayn left.
He moved out as soon as he could.
He didn’t make a dramatic announcement.
He didn’t scream.
He didn’t tell them exactly why.
He packed his things, found a place of his own and left.
His parents were angry.
They told him he was abandoning his family.
Zayn remembered standing in the doorway with a bag over his shoulder.
He remembered his father telling him that family was supposed to stick together.
Zayn had almost laughed.
Family had never felt like something they all belonged to equally.
He had left anyway.
And for years, he had barely looked back.
Until now.
“Zayn?”
His mother’s voice pulled him back into the present.
“Are you listening?”
Zayn - “Yes.”
“So?”
Zayn - “So what?”
“Sami will stay with you.”
Zayn laughed once.
There was no humour in it.
Zayn - “You’ve already decided.”
“We know you’ll take care of him.”
Zayn - “That’s exactly the problem.”
“What does that mean?”
Zayn - “You always decide things for me.”
“Zayn, we’re asking you to help your brother.”
Zayn - “No. You’re telling me to take responsibility for him.”
“You’re his older brother.”
Zayn - “And?”
“You have your own house.”
Zayn - “So?”
“You’re older.”
Zayn stared at the ceiling.
There it was.
The same words.
The same expectation.
The same role.
Older.
Responsible.
Understanding.
Always him.
Zayn - “You’ve had years to figure this out,” he said quietly. “Why is it suddenly my problem?”
“Because you’re his brother.”
Zayn - “He’s not my responsibility.”
His mother’s voice hardened.
“He’s your family.”
Zayn went silent.
Family.
That word had never sounded the way other people seemed to think it did.
“We’ll only be gone for a while,” she said.
Zayn - “So he’ll stay with me temporarily.”
“Yes.”
Zayn already knew he shouldn’t trust the word.
Zayn - “How long?”
“We don’t know.”
Zayn - “That’s not temporary.”
“We’re still figuring things out.”
Zayn rubbed his forehead.
He could feel the old anger crawling back.
The anger he had spent years burying beneath routines, work, quiet mornings and a life that belonged entirely to him.
And now they wanted to bring the one person connected to all of it straight through his front door.
Zayn - “Sami knows?”
“Not yet.”
Zayn - “Then tell him no.”
“Zayn.”
Zayn - “I mean it.”
“You can’t keep punishing him for things that happened when you were children.”
Zayn froze.
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
His mother’s words had hit somewhere deeper than she probably realised.
Zayn - “I’m not punishing him.”
“You’ve barely spoken to him for years.”
Zayn - “He has you.”
“What?”
Zayn’s voice was quieter now.
Zayn - “He has both of you.”
His mother didn’t answer.
Zayn - “And he always did.”
There was another silence.
Then his mother said,
“You’ll understand one day.”
Zayn almost smiled.
He’d heard that sentence before.
He had been waiting years to understand.
He still hadn’t.
“We’ll send Sami over on Saturday,” she said.
Zayn straightened.
Zayn - “Wait.”
“Saturday.”
Zayn - “You can’t just—”
The call ended.
Zayn stared at his phone.
For several seconds, he didn’t move.
Then he slowly lowered it.
Saturday.
Four days.
Four days until Sami walked through his front door.
Four days until the quiet house wasn’t quiet anymore.
Zayn looked around his kitchen.
His house.
His life.
The one thing he had built without his family interfering.
And suddenly, it felt like it was being taken from him.
...
Across town, Sami Hamdan was having a very different reaction.
He sat on the floor of his bedroom, surrounded by half-packed boxes.
His parents had explained everything earlier that evening.
They were going abroad.
He was staying.
University was here. His friends were here. Everything he had built was here.
And apparently, he would be staying with Zayn.
Sami had stared at his parents for a moment.
Sami - “Zayn?”
His mother smiled.
“Yes.”
Sami’s face brightened.
Sami - “Really?”
His father nodded.
“We’ve already spoken to him.”
Sami couldn’t stop the smile.
He hadn’t seen his brother properly in years.
Not since Zayn moved out.
They spoke occasionally, but their conversations were usually short.
Sami had always assumed that was because Zayn was busy.
Maybe now things could be different.
Maybe living together would help.
Maybe they could finally be brothers again.
He picked up his phone.
He opened Zayn’s contact.
He hesitated for a second before typing.
Hey. Thanks for letting me stay. I’m actually really excited to see you again. It’s been ages.
Sami looked at the message.
Then pressed send.
...
Across town, Zayn’s phone buzzed.
He looked down.
Read the message.
And felt something inside him twist.
I’m actually really excited to see you again.
Zayn stared at those words for a long time.
Sami was excited.
Of course he was.
He had no idea.
No idea what Zayn remembered.
No idea how many years Zayn had spent trying to forget.
No idea that the older brother he was so excited to see had spent years convincing himself that leaving was the best thing he had ever done.
Zayn locked his phone.
He didn’t reply.
The house fell silent again.
But for the first time in years, Zayn didn’t find the silence comforting.
He found himself thinking about Saturday.
And about the little brother he had once loved before resentment had gotten there first.
⊹ ₊⋆ ☁︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆₊⋆☁︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎ ⋆₊ ⊹
