Nothingness.

Have you ever wondered why life is so confusing??? One moment I disgust myself and the other moment i am in love with it.Just for the sake of staying busy and not wanting to sit idle overthinking all day I started to study in college and then decided to teach some poor kids who can't afford studies.In this way i am busy for about 16 to 17 hours.It was all going good I never mind being tired but then my students whom I spend so much time on snitched on me.They want their old teacher back the second they saw her cause she jokes with them and doesn't make them study.  But what's my fault in all this??? That I tried my best to make future of these kids?? It hurts alot when you can be replaced easily and happily.What is even the point of this?? Even if I'm prettiest shade of blue they would like red. Maybe somethings are better left unsaid. Why do we chase after fictional stories when we have our own stories filled with heart wrenching stories.Just a lab full of welted flowers.