The Lord Protector

His lack of an eye throbbed with this innate desire to see. The eyelid still blinked to protect nothing, a proxy of protection to the already tarnished sense. Despite the lack of vision, he could still see the clear destruction laid before him. White cold snow was tainted with stains of black.

Extending his hand, he could visibly see it begin to shake at the unknown. Unknown? Or was it anger? This was feeling far beyond him, despite his attempts to be the most abnormal god to walk among them. A god who knew nothing was no god at all. A god with no answers cannot be trusted.

“What has happened?” Velexi questioned aghast, a hint of fear in his voice.

They had all felt the world shake, a massive implosion of a black shroud. It was as though a meteor fell from the sky and came crashing down. Yet this impact had not been otherworldly, from the heavens above. It came from the hells below, a place of the unknown, the sector of the dark spectacular.

The stench of it all was unknown. There was no lingering aroma to sense, no scent to track. There was nothing.

No bodies. No remnants of blood, weapons, supplies, or footsteps of a battle just occurring. It was as if all matter ceased to exist. Had it not been for the black stains beneath their feet, it would appear nothing had happened here at all.

Pestilence refused to place his boots anywhere near the black. Afraid it might swallow him whole, he only gazed at the tumultuous path before him. It was a path he had set himself upon: alone, afraid, and angry. Worship only went so far, a temporary bandage pressed against a wound that would never heal.

“I assume the supplies were not recovered,” Alec sighed. Shame. Such an easy mission, so easy maybe he believed he should have done it himself.

Supplies were leaving the Skale city of Horace, typically escorted by twenty Lungorian soldiers. Pestilence’s men should have had no problem with the situation, outnumbered and more prepared for a skirmish attack. This should have been an easy victory with a celebration of newly aged wine and salted pork from these supplies.

“Supplies? Fifteen of our men are nothing but dust and you are worried about supplies?”

“Whomever did this annihilated his own men as well, perhaps even himself,” Alec hummed. No. His men were fodder, as they were supposed to be in a revolution. Revolutions required sacrifice, required a duty to something greater. If they were to defeat Oblivion entirely, they had to be prepared to die to it.

“You don’t know who could have done this? Is there no scent to follow?” Velexi questioned with worry. Perhaps Pestilence was losing his touch.

Things had never been quite the same since the betrayal from Lungor, since the blade had burned into his left eye rendering it useless. Some things had worked in their favor, the Plague most especially, despite its unknown origin. It called more to their ranks, afraid of a sickness that could only infect the non-Oblivionists. Surely it was a sign Oblivion had to be hunted down once and for all.

“I know who did this…” Pestilence spat, feeling his mouth fill with a saliva of worry.

In wanting to destroy his enemy, he inadvertently made him stronger. Alec had tried to convince himself this was a good thing. It only quelled the sting of betrayal for a moment. No. He knew the mistake of letting himself be used like a pawn. He knew he could not expect the qualities of loyalty and respect when he had none to give.

Kaid Al-Yami was now a man unchained. The worst kind of freedom was not knowing one was free. When man began to push boundaries, unafraid of the consequences of actions, no worry for safety or health, truly this world at risk. His potential was now limitless. Jessamine was no longer there to ground him. The Lord Protector didn’t even know she existed.

Which meant Bashir would send his son to kill her, to kill Alec’s sister. Pestilence didn’t know how to feel about that. He saw his sister as a rival, but not an enemy - no. She was the very reason to keep going, to keep trying, to urge her into this war. He enjoyed toying with her just like had when they were children, dangling candy over her head she could never reach. Now she was tall enough, strong enough, dangerous enough to snatch it back and keep it for herself.

Pestilence didn’t know how to feel either about the rumors that Jessamine had not been seen. He knew she was alive. He could smell roses in the wind, even if they were faint, as if the Vitross breeze carried them all the way to Karnaca Isle. But nobody knew the reasoning why. It was not like her to shy herself away, even at her most vulnerable moments. There was belief that she was not carrying herself with the loss of Kaid.

Despite no lingering scent of Oblivion, Alec’s memory had danced to one in particular, the day he thought he won. Rather, the day he had ensured Lungor’s victory, all the while dooming his own. The fighting of guards, one fist laying a hand on the Empress, that man had sealed his fate. Alec remembered the black brand on his face, black as the ground beneath him.

There was no doubting this was the disgraced Lord Protector - the Time Paradoxer.

Velexi could see the fear in Pestilence’s eyes, understanding now, “If he can destroy the very fabric of matter itself, the particles of a person…”

“He only continues to expose himself as the man we all feared him to be,” Alec dismissed his anxiety easily, a mere brush off the shoulder, “This changes nothing. However, for the sake of our army, we should be prepared to pull out of battle as soon as we see him.”

“And how do we stop him, my lord?” Velexi wondered.

How, indeed. Pestilence recalled another memory in that courtroom, the reverse veiled threat Kaid had bestowed upon him. He would remove his Oblivion. Alec couldn’t wait for the day, wait for the moment to feel all that power, to know it had been all taken away! Yet, there was a consequence. If Kaid’s premonitions were as true as believed, it would be the last bit of thievery Alec would claim.

To Alec, taking Kaid’s Oblivion was the greatest achievement he would accomplish. It did not matter what came after. Only death would reverse such a prospect. Pestilence knew Kaid wouldn’t have that in him. No. The man could hardly attempt a blow on his own father, the man responsible for all of this.

“This kind of massacre will not be taken lightly. Lungor cannot afford to lose men just as much as anyone else. Kaid will be punished, he will learn, and yet he will do it again. He’s uncontrollable,” Pestilence answered, “he will begin to destroy himself. He will be lost. That is when we will find him because he will wander straight to us.”

“And if he wanders to the Empress?”

If…if she was still alive. She must be, there was no doubt about it. Yet her disappearance certainly changed things, swayed the morale of this entire Continent. Kaid must not have his memories if he was already unleashed so quickly. Well, perhaps not quickly. It had been an entire year since the Trial, since the fall of Arilla, since this Continent was thrown into chaos.

“Emperor Bashir cannot let that happen…” Pestilence muttered, soon turning back to the portal given there was nothing he could give here, not even prayers.

“…And we cannot let that happen either…”

He heard it again.

That whaling whale. An echo in the dark, a deep cry of pain and sorrow, a vibration that rattled his brain.

It was in the Void every time he slept. It was a siren song that both enticed him and sickened him. There was something so diseased and terrible about the cry, yet there was something that pulled at his heartstrings. This belief formed every so often that he could quell this cry. Either that, or whenever he found this void-filled animal he’d suffocate it to never cry again.

Nobody else could hear it either. His Mentor could not. When Kaid asked his brother what it could mean, even he had no clue. Vrah was always full of knowledge, so enlightening about his past, yet even this perplexed him. Kaid didn’t know if it was a whale perhaps, or just the most equivalent sound he could equate it to.

His thoughts shifted elsewhere, letting the morning robe drop from his upper torso to feel the rising Villa sun. Those shoulders and backside ached, the wounds still not fully healed. Purposefully, of course. His father certainly could have let the healers give it a go and seal the strikes against him. But there was a reason he didn’t. Pain was memory. Pain was a lesson.

His one good first pressed against the large sandbag, his knuckles adjusting to the rough fabric in a welcoming manner. The left, armored hand, was always used as a shield until a final blow was needed. Kaid jabbed the bag at the side, swaying it uncontrollably before centering another punch. Each movement enhanced the last. The adrenaline inside him numbed every sense. He could hardly feel his fingers anymore, the bleeding of his hands.

Over. And over. And over again.

Kaid closed his eyes, still hitting against the bag despite the blindness, knowing each and every strike. That’s when his mind went elsewhere. His right hand was no longer just a fist, but an emerald curved dagger, bloodied and magnificent. He had never seen anything quite like it.

Then he felt the warmth of a woman. Not the tight, comfort, fiery blaze a woman usually could provide…no. He felt the comfort of blood. There was so much fire in the surprise, eyes shocked with wonder, a face he could not recognize but he could only feel joy. But if there was so much joy, why did his hand tremble? Why did he not want this to happen?

“Kaid?” A soft voice questioned him.

He awoke from his daze, finding the sandbag spilling across his feet. Well, there goes another one, broken and in need of repair. It gave the servants something to do anyway. Yet his hand bled, knuckles gushing as they had also stained the brown leather attempting to hold this sand together.

Drenched in sweat, he could feel it begin to sting those raw scars on his backside, causing him to groan.

Sabine moved forward. Dressed in a thin robe herself, lately she had been always sleeping bare. Kaid knew it was only meant to tempt him, that maybe one day he’d sleep with his betrothed as he likely had in the past several if not hundreds of times. He couldn’t get himself to do it.

There was nothing wrong with her. Kaid almost wondered if something was wrong with him, to look at a woman nude with a decent body and not feel anything but disgust. There was nothing wrong with him. Nothing. Kaid had to keep lying to himself, it was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment.

“Did you have another nightmare?” she questioned, picking up his robe from the dirt covered ground, wiping any sand off.

“I don’t get nightmares,” Kaid lied with a grunt, taking the robe from her to cover the lashes quickly. He didn’t want that look in her eyes yet she gave it regardless, just like the first time she saw those wounds.

Pity. Fucking pity. He didn’t need it. Didn’t want it. It sickened him, made him feel weak!

He had deserved every single one of those lashes. He remembered the sting and burn of all ten strikes, a whip against his back at his disobedience. Animals needed to be controlled, but one cannot fully tame an animal could they? An animal was needed to win this war. Kaid cared not for the throne, for a crown nestled in the curls of his hair, or even a beautiful woman to be Empress at his side.

No…he wanted something more.

The power to be whomever he wanted to be. The power to get his memory back. The power to destroy this Continent if he so chose. None of this was his fault. This entire Continent had to be blamed. Too much rot, too much poison, too much blood. Yet Kaid wanted to swim in it, drown in it, drink it all to vigor himself. None of this was his fault…but it felt like it was.

Sabine knew things weren’t the same. She recalled the first time she saw him after all of it, even his eyes didn’t hold the same nature. There were still glimpses of the Kaid she knew: loyal, passionate, a fighter…oh but it as all so misconstrued. He was loyal to a brother that had only caused him harm. Passionate towards the blood of others. A fighter…a fighter who had just killed his own men because he couldn’t control his power.

Every look he gave her was also pity. Pity he would not take her, spoil her, please her. Sabine knew only one time she had gotten close, all those years ago in Uhkhtar, when she could sense his loneliness. She could see the question in his eyes, whether devouring her would ease his suffering. Sabine knew now it never would. The words of a scorned Empress entered her mind but she shook it away instantly.

The mind-witch certainly cursed her with a premonition that has certainly become true. Or perhaps Sabine had merely cursed herself with this sin, taking a man who was not hers and never was, wishing him to be someone else and she got exactly what she wished for.

Sabine swallowed down the lump in her throat, exhaling sharply, “What did it feel like?”

Kaid straightened himself, wondering what she meant by that question. What did what feel like? It all felt like nothing. Did she mean her love, because that felt like nothing but meaningless effort. She was pushing an object that could not be moved. And Kaid did feel some pity for her in that aspect. Perhaps there were plenty of moments they had together, joyful ones, and now he lost that.

“What did it feel like to…destroy life like that?”

So, that’s what she was wondering. She was questioning if it was worth it. Was it worth going behind his father’s back, demanding a portalist to send him to the front lines in hopes to turn the tides of war? Was it worth destroying cargo, which had been nothing but dead plagued bodies being transported to who-knows-fuck where?

Of course it was worth it.

Having a power everyone feared was worth it. Imagine the power to alter this Continent with a snap of his fingers, with an idea, a pause, a rewind or a fast forward. Kaid even paused time now, seeing the look on his betrothed’s face. Oh, just how he seemed so disgusted in her, he could see it reflected in those hazel eyes now. She knew he liked it. She knew he cared not for the punishment, for the berating screams from his father. Oh, he loved them!

Kaid appeared right behind Sabine, making her jump with fright.

“Relief,” he answered.

Sabine took one good step away, that sorrow morphing into frustration, “I told you to stop doing that.”

“Stop me using my powers? Stop me from being myself?” Kaid asked for clarification.

This wasn’t him. He didn’t know it, but there was a time this man would refuse to hurt a beetle beneath his feet, afraid to touch a butterfly in fear of scratching it. Hell, even inanimate things like books he always remained delicate with, turning each page in fear they’d tear. Now, he cared not for what he touched. If somewhere were to die or wither by his hand, he believed they deserved it. If uplifted, then they were just as worthy as him.

“Are you afraid of me, Sabine?” Kaid questioned sincerely. He had never asked it before, perhaps afraid of the answer. The answer was so clear in her eyes sometimes, particularly now.

Sabine knew the deadlock Kaid had just sent her into. Of course she was afraid of him. Not afraid of him hurting her, no. She supposed she never gave him a reason to and he didn’t waste his energy on useless things like that. He did not love her, that was for certain.

What would happen if he knew? What would happen if he remembered yet his soul remained unchanged? She had given up practically her Empire, his own birthplace, for a chance at his affection. It was nothing but rotten. She had played a part in his memory loss, the reason for his disillusionment. If he knew that, then she would be truly, gravely afraid of him.

But if she lied, which she felt like doing, he’d know it. If she said she wasn’t afraid of him, there was a sliver of doubt he would make it certain. Either that, or he’d drown himself in sorrow that he knew something wasn’t quite right. Deep down with his observant nature, he knew that. He knew it was wrong to feel nothing, to feel this angry, to feel on the verge of implosion every second.

That’s why he did what he did. He thought the release would be a great satisfaction. It only left him wanting more…

“No,” she answered, looking into his eyes, “I’m just afraid you’re pushing yourself too hard. This war is complicated and there are many things going on at once. You have not been given proper time to heal-”

“My injuries do not hurt.”

“I meant the wound in your mind - this blackhole,” Sabine clarified, moving slowly back towards him, “you’re so brave going right back into the fight. And I know that you know things are different, that everything feels upside down. You’re trying to tilt this world again into what feels right.”

Kaid swallowed at that, knowing that even if he did not love this woman, she certainly could read him. It was one of the things he despised about her because she only read half of it. It was as if she just skimmed the book in front of her, finding all the key points and summarizing its conclusion…but missed the rest of the details that were just as important, if not more important, than the core plot.

Sabine saw Kaid, yes. But she didn’t see the internal screaming, the pleas for help, this weird beg to get her to leave him alone! She could practically see the near invisible, gaping wound inside his soul yet either refused or didn’t know how to help him.

“I know we just want things to be the way they used to be…” she added with a whisper, slowly moving her hand to his bare chest. She loved the feel of his racing heart, the heaving of his strong abdominals, or the tension in his muscles. But these were all just barriers to his soul, the true meaning of romance and connection. It was what she failed to obtain previously and she feared she wouldn’t get it now. But she could not give up, not with what she had given up to be here.

“I don’t know what it used to be,” Kaid whispered back, painfully so.

Was there a time he was once happy? Was there a time he could laugh and smile without care? Did he indulge in all the pleasures of the flesh with no worries? Did he have friendship, kinship, brotherhood or sisterhood with those around him? Did he once possess love? Did it come to him easier than this hate?

The sound of a portal whooshing pulled them apart, Vrah stepping into the Villa already formally dressed. It was rather unlike him, given he usually slept in far past dawn with a growing lack of responsibilities. But perhaps he just wanted to make sure his brother was alright.

Sabine took another step back, “Good morning, my lord. Would you like some breakfast?”

“That would be lovely Sabine, thank you,” Vrah smiled, seeing Sabine’s false one fading as she immediately excused herself towards the kitchen. Kaid didn’t even glance back at her, merely watching the final droplets of sand hit the ground before the rest remained in the cut bag.

“Well, there goes another bag. Really, you should treat these things more delicately,” Vrah teased, “Good thing I had the servants make an additional one. This one shall be replaced and repaired good as new by the time you destroy the next one.”

“Mm, father stopped providing bodies to train with. I make do with what I have,” Kaid hummed.

The bodies stopped coming because they were losing this war. Kaid knew that. There were hardly any prisoners to keep, no dead to resuscitate for a training session. Even his Mentor was failing now in his teachings. Everything was all so repetitive, this vicious continuous cycle where nothing changed. Time was a loop, and Kaid hated that. Only he could break the circle and force a spiral instead.

“Did you and Sabine have a good night?” Vrah questioned delicately, “I’m sorry to interrupt your earlier conversation. Looked rather…intense.”

“We drank some wine, played some cards…” Kaid drifted.

“And…?”

“And she did the same pitiful strip down in front of me, then went to bed,” Kaid shrugged.

Vrah felt an odd sense of relief at that. He knew it was only a matter of time before Sabine began to question this decision, before she blew up the consequences of her own actions. When Vrah offered this proposition to Sabine, it sickened his stomach. The real truth of it all was to provide an heir, one that touched both Lungor and Uhkhtar. In winning the war, or at the very least taming it, Lungor would control most if not all territories, minus whatever remained of Vitross.

Kaid was never meant to love Sabine. Vrah knew that was impossible. Even if only half of the man Kaid used to be now stood before him, his heart only longed for one woman. Vrah wondered if he dreamt of her, if he could see her face or just the echoes of her voice. There was strong belief if maybe, just maybe, Vrah could somehow put them in a room together, he’d recognize it all instantly.

With the news of this morning, that was all rather likely.

“I have good news, Kaid,” Vrah finally smiled.

“Oh? Father has changed his mind and now wishes me back on the frontlines?” Kaid scoffed, but was curious enough. Vrah took a moment to glance behind them, wondering if Sabine would be arriving any minute now with a plate of fresh fruit, eggs, and toast. Yet there was only silence.

“The Empress has been spotted…”

“Where?!” Kaid perked up.

This woman was the cornerstone of this war. If Kaid was to remove her, the rest of their problems would fall apart. This war would be over in one swift thrust of his blade. Kaid would finally garner the respect he deserved, from his people, from his father…for himself. If this woman was so terrifying to those around him, defeating her was a must.

“Not on the battlefield. She gave a speech to her people this morning,” Vrah kept his voice low, “But it is the first sight of her in over a year. The war will continue, become stronger now if it isn’t at its peak already. Our spies all but confirmed her to be in good health, looking more powerful than ever. We must tread carefully.”

“What of her people? Gone for a year, surely they were upset-”

“They rejoiced at her return.”

Kaid scoffed loudly. The way this woman held strings around everyone perplexed him. Gone for an entire year, hardly any explanation, and her people still worshiped her. It made no sense! What could have sent her away for that long? What could have kept her in hiding?

Vrah worried about it too. He didn’t know what would have kept Jessamine so far away from a battlefield. She would have been so eager for vengeance, especially hearing about the judgment she had bestowed to her brother. Jessamine was not one to hide and recover. She was wise, but even that would not stop her heart from trying to restore balance, to try and get him back.

“Father did not want me telling you,” Vrah whispered, seeing the anger in Kaid’s eyes, “he doesn’t want you to be brash again. This Empress already bestowed grace by taking your memories instead of your life…we can’t fail to lose you Kaid. Lungor will fall without you.”

This entire Continent would fall without him.

“The plan now continues. We will begin our attacks in the Isles. Father is beginning travel plans with Alyss to Del-Rey, it could take months, but there is belief that Kingdom would help…” Vrah sighed, sorrow clear in his voice if Alyss would be gone for so long. Kaid knew he was fond of the woman, practically had his eyes glued to her at all times even in the most important of delegations.

“I don’t think it is safe, traveling so far for another Empire we hardly know anything of…” Kaid grunted, but trusted his father’s judgment (sometimes), “what if that was where the Empress went? What if she had sought some help?”

“Not likely. Father will break the news in a council meeting a few days from now. Which means you should rest and be on your best behavior,” Vrah insisted, seeing Sabine holding two plates of food for them both in the shadows of the villa. Vrah began moving his way over to her, sensing Kaid stay for a moment to gaze at the rising sun across the lake.

The Empress was back. A sense of purpose filled him like the sun’s rays beginning to soak his skin with more sweat. All of what he had imagined this morning, blade penetrating skin, blood spurting out against him, a sense of surprise…he knew it was meant for her. For this Empress. His destiny was to kill her, to end her in a way so spectacular, to outsmart this witch where no other man had.

Sabine shouted Kaid’s name to join them, hoping it would stir his thoughts away from this newfound hope. It had done just enough.

I’m coming for you, Empress, Kaid thought, There are no walls and no men that can protect you from me. You took everything from me…

Now, I will take everything from you…