Starving Lips

"Ariana, don't you feel it too? This tension whenever we're near each other-how our hearts beat faster".

"Gerald!" I hit my hand on the table, frustrated. "We're cousins! The hell are you even talking about?!"

He stepped closer, a smirk on his face as he grabbed a strand of my hair. "We're not related by blood, Ariana. I'm adopted, so it doesn't matter."

My hand hit his cheek hard, making him finally step back, his palm resting on the spot I slapped.

The door opened before he could open that filthy mouth of his. It was my oldest brother.

"Uncle said the both of you should come downstairs. We've come to a decision."

I nodded. "We'll be right there, Emmanuel."

"Quick," he replied, closing the door.

I sighed, grabbed my jacket, and walked toward the door.

Gerald stood there, unmoving, his palm still on his cheek. "Was it that painful?" I asked. "I just hope it was enough to reset your brain."

I opened the door, a smile on my face.

"Even if you don't love me, Ariana-"

I turned around, surprised he was willing to speak.

"I will forever love you, and nothing will stop me."

"You do you, buddy," I said, waving to him as I walked out of the room and headed downstairs.

They were all seated as I expected-my uncle and my three brothers, waiting for Gerald and me.

"My son?" my uncle asked. "You didn't come down with him?"

I shook my head. "He seems to be stuck, thinking about something. He'll probably be down in a minute. Let's start without him."

I sat next to Christopher, the second oldest. He was the smart one and would probably explain anything Uncle said if I didn't understand.

"First of all," my uncle cleared his throat, "I propose you four move to a new country; it seems like the best choice."

My brothers remained silent, a silence that told me they already knew this was his plan.

"I object, Uncle," I quickly added. "Are you telling us to start life over because Mom and Dad died? So you're basically saying we should forget them!"

"Ariana," Christopher whispered. "That's not what he means."

"Then what does he mean?!" I asked, my voice loud with anger. "Doesn't it feel like he's trying to separate us from the memories of Mom and Dad?"

"No, he's not," Connie added; he was the youngest among us, though he and I were only a year apart.

My uncle sighed. "I thought moving would be the best thing. Living in the same house would make it very hard to move on, wouldn't it?"

Christopher placed a hand on mine. "It's for the best, Ariana. You can take anything you need from the old house to remember them by. We'll all do the same."

I looked down. "How are all of you... so okay with this? Doesn't it seem like a betrayal? Mom and Dad die, and we immediately leave the country?"

"We're not going immediately," Emmanuel added. "Uncle is just giving a suggestion. We'll remain here for a while."

"Ariana, dear, are you okay with this?"

I turned to my uncle. "It's alright. As long as we mourn Mom and Dad the right way, I will consider it."

A year later...

There were many benefits to me dying.

I wouldn't have to wear long sleeves in the summer to hide my bruises.

I wouldn't wake up each day soaked in an unusual amount of sweat.

I wouldn't have memories that somehow caused me physical pain.

Even the world wouldn't forget me if I left; they couldn't forget someone they never remembered.

Life wasn't precious.

"Young lady, are you zoning out?"

I inhaled deeply, afraid my eyes would meet hers. "Sorry, Ma'am."

My teacher sighed, "Kids these days."

She opened the book in front of her, skimming through it. "Apple Rye, right? That's your name."

"Yes, Ma'am."

She tore out a sticky note, writing a name on it: "Go look for this girl; she's in 11-D. You two will be roommates for the school trip."

She wrapped it around my thumb, gesturing for me to go quickly so the person behind could step forward.

I exited the classroom, heading for the cafeteria. It was better to look for her now that it was lunchtime than after school.

I took the sticky note off my thumb, looking at the name on it: "Ariana Klein."

My grip tightened, my heart beating faster. 'Ariana,' a name I now found difficult to say, a name that was no longer mine.

It was a common name, yes, but I had never seen anyone with that name at this school until now.

And she was supposed to be my roommate.

I bowed my head, tears almost falling from my eyes. "How long will I have to live like this?"

"Apple?"

I wiped my tears immediately, looking up. "Yes, what?"

It was a girl. She had dirty blonde hair that just barely went past her shoulders, and she wore a white headband.

I remembered seeing her before; she wore that white headband every day.

"Hi!" she said, taking a seat. "Have you heard? We're gonna be roommates for the school trip!"

I placed the sticky note on her hand, the one with her name. "I just heard, too."

Her smile turned mischievous. "Apple, dear, I have a favor to ask. I know we're not close, but I really need you to do something for me."

"Do what?"

She suddenly grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly. "My parents are against me dating my boyfriend."

"I'm sorry?"

"Please listen," she added. "I only get to see him at school, but he's usually really busy, so this school trip is my only chance to spend quality time with him for two weeks."

"Okay," I replied. "I don't mind if you spend time with him. It's not my business."

She chuckled, leaning closer. "No, no, Apple. I don't just want to see him now and then. Would you mind if I did... a roommate switch?"

"I don't really care."

Her eyes sparkled, as if the sun itself had started shining in them. "Really, you're not lying to me, right?! You promise you won't report?!"

I nodded.

"You're the best, Apple. I'll marry both you and my boyfriend in the future. I promise!"

I slowly moved my hand away. "It's okay; you don't have to do that or anything, really."

"Are you sure?" She tilted her head. "That means you'll have to stay with a boy. Will you be comfortable?"

"I'm okay..." I swallowed hard, words struggling to escape. "Ariana."

"I'll ask my boyfriend just in case, though." She placed a hand on her chin. "I'll tell you once I find out who he's supposed to be rooming with, so you'll know your new roommate!"

She stood up, offering her hand suddenly. "You should probably meet him, honestly; he's very friendly."

"Meet who?"

She face-palmed. "Sorry, I should have been clearer. Let's go meet my boyfriend!"