Be A Man

Be a Man—A Poetry Book About the Beauty of Masculinity

By Rimshot Blue

For my hypermasculine dad—R.B.

A Note from the Author

My father has always embodied a strong, hypermasculine identity, while I've known I was gay since puberty. This book is dedicated to him and to myself—it reflects parts of my lived experience, my questions about masculinity, and my journey toward self-understanding.

I also want to acknowledge a painful experience from my childhood. In my third elementary school, I was sexually assaulted by a male student during class. Around that time, I had recently seen a music class video showing two men sitting together, and a comment from another student introduced me to ideas about masculinity and sexuality that I did not yet understand. Looking back, I recognize how early exposure to homophobic ideas—and the confusion and cruelty that can come with them—shaped the way I experienced that moment and its aftermath.

That experience left a lasting impact on how I view homophobia and the environments where it can thrive, including within religious spaces and the black community which I'm a part of. At the same time, I recognize that my sexuality was not created by what happened to me. I understood my attraction to men during puberty, long before I had the language to explain it. I also never felt genuine romantic or sexual attraction toward women, even when I believed I was expected to.

I was raised in a non-denominational Christian home, and faith has remained important to me, even as my relationship with organized religion has been complicated. I hold love for God and Jesus, but my experiences have made it difficult at times to feel fully at home in church spaces.

This book explores themes of masculinity, identity, and what it means to be a man. It also reflects my personal struggles with shame, acceptance, and self-understanding. Over time, I've come to recognize that healing does not require erasing any part of who I am.

To the person who hurt me: I forgive you. I do not forget, but I choose forgiveness.

This book is dedicated not only to my father, but to all men searching for a deeper understanding of manhood—beyond stereotype, beyond expectation, and toward something more honest.

Rayman G. N. Blake

A.K.A. Rimshot