Prelude
r/EroticaConfessions Posted by u/SpiceRackSiren • 14 hours ago
Why do we keep romanticising this???
(Rant/Unpopular Opinion)
Is anyone else just… done with the “Dark Hero” who is actually just a predator with abs? I just finished a Top 10 story on EroticLit (won’t name names) and I’m genuinely shaken. The MMC doesn’t ask. He doesn’t negotiate. I get that it’s fiction, but the comments are full of girls saying “I wish a man would dominate me like this.” No, you don’t. You want a Dom who listens to your safe word. You don’t want a guy who treats your “no” like a suggestion. Why are we acting like a total lack of consent is the peak of romance? If he’s actually scary, it’s not a kink, it’s a police report. 🚩🚩🚩
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u/scrbanshy81: Louder for the people in the back! 📢
u/VelvetBDSM_Mod: The ‘Alpha Protector’ trope is fine for a fantasy, but can we acknowledge that IRL, a guy acting like he owns you without a simple conversation beforehand is just a massive red flag? Safe, sane, consensual. Anything else is just trauma with a high-end soundtrack.
u/Hyp0Nimf0 As someone who’s been in the scene for 20 years, these stories make my skin crawl because they teach young subs that OBEDIENCE UNDER DURESS is the same thing as SUBMISSION. It’s NOT! It’s FAWNING which is an AMYGDALA RESPONSE TO STRESS! Your body responding IS NOT craving or consent: IT’S TRYING TO SURVIVE THE SITUATION.
u/scrbanshy81 Replying to u/Hyp0Nimf0: Hear hear! If it’s not an enthusiastic YES, it’s a NO!
u/Kink_Not_Shame_99 Replying to u/SpiceRackSiren: Okay, but it’s fiction. I’m a literal lawyer in real life, I know what a crime is. But when I’m reading, I want the fantasy of being “claimed” by someone so obsessed they lose their mind. It’s called CNC (Consensual Non-Consent) for a reason. Just because the author doesn’t write a three-page contract scene at the start doesn’t mean we don’t understand it’s a fantasy. Let us have our dark corners, damn.
u/SpiceRackSiren [OP] Replying to u/Kink_Not_Shame_99: I’m not saying you can’t like CNC! I’m saying these stories aren’t CNC. There’s no negotiation. There’s no aftercare. The guy just asserts dominance and the girl folds. It’s the “attractiveness as an excuse” trope. If the guy was a 50-year-old high-school janitor instead of a hot Footballer, we’d call it a horror story.
u/Ginger_Snap_22 I’m with OP on this one. I think some authors use the “Protector” trope to excuse literal stalking. It’s the “he’s doing it for your own good” excuse. It’s gross. I’ve lived through a relationship with a possessive guy and it didn’t feel like a spicy chapter. It felt like walking on eggshells for three years until I forgot who I was.
u/Throwaway_London_Girl Replying to u/Ginger_Snap_22: THIS. There’s a specific vibe in some of these stories where the FMC is inexperienced and the guy is way older. The power imbalance isn’t “hot,” it’s gross! He knows she doesn’t have the life experience to tell him to fuck off. The author makes her “arousal” the justification, like “Oh, she’s wet, so it’s fine.” Biology isn’t a contract!
u/Daddy_Issues_Daily Maybe some of us want to explore the feeling of being completely overpowered without the safety net of a vanilla romance. Isn’t that what erotica is for? Exploring the Taboo?
u/Clinical_Stare The issue isn’t the taboo, it’s the framing. When the narrative rewards the MMC for being a monster, it sends a message. Look at the real-world Wade Wilson and Ted Bundy fans - women literally obsessed with a MURDER because he’s “HOT”.
u/Throwaway_London_Girl Replying to u/Clinical_Stare Spot on! When we romanticise the abuse in stories, we’re training ourselves to ignore the warning signs in the pub or the office. If he’s brooding and possessive in a book, he’s a hero. If he’s doing it at your flat, he’s a stalker.
u/The_Labyrinth_Walker Honestly, I think some of those authors know exactly what they’re doing. They’re poking the bruise on purpose to show that it’s more insidious and damaging than people realise.
