Prologue
I had never thought about how desperately a person could want to live. Probably because most of the time, you take life for granted. You wake up in the morning, switch off your alarm, complain about the weather, worry about work, university, money and another dozen things that, at the time, feel almost catastrophic.
And then you discover that a person doesn’t really need much at all.
One more breath. One more step. A few more seconds.
But now the wet ground slipped beneath my feet, branches lashed my face and tangled in my hair. More than once, I had to grab hold of tree trunks to keep from collapsing to my knees, but every time I slowed down for even a second, fear shoved me forward again.
The air burned my lungs. Every breath scraped my throat, and my heart was pounding so hard that I could feel the dull pulse somewhere behind it. My legs were shaking, cold fabric clung to my skin, and a sharp ache was beginning to build beneath my ribs from running too fast for too long.
But pain meant I was still alive.
A branch snapped somewhere behind me.
I spun around so sharply I nearly lost my balance.
No one.
Only dark trunks, wet leaves and the grey light of evening caught in a web of bare branches.
For several seconds, I stared into the forest, trying to make out even the slightest movement.
Silence.
It should have calmed me down. Somehow, it did the opposite. The quiet made everything worse, because my imagination immediately supplied a dozen possibilities for what could be happening behind my back.
Maybe no one is even chasing me.
The thought came out of nowhere.
I pushed it away just as quickly.
Turning around, I ran again.
A thick root lay directly in my path. I saw it too late. The toe of my trainer caught on the raised wood, and for one second the entire world tipped over.
My palm slammed into the wet earth. A sharp pain tore through my knee, and a strangled groan escaped my chest.
‘Shit…’
I stayed on the ground for only a few seconds, dragging air into my lungs and trying to fight off the dizziness.
Then I looked back again.
Empty.
Not a single movement.
I pushed myself up with one hand against a tree.
Only then did I feel something warm near my temple.
I touched the skin and looked at my fingers.
A thin streak of blood.
Yesterday, that would have frightened me.
Today, I simply wiped my hand on my jeans.
If I’m not dying, it doesn’t matter.
I took another step, and only then did a sharp pain shoot through the fingers of my right hand.
They were gripping the handles of a paper bag so tightly that my knuckles had gone white.
Inside was a white dress.
Just a dress.
Light fabric that weighed almost nothing, yet somehow the bag felt heavier than anything I had ever carried.
I could have dropped it.
I probably should have.
Left it here among the wet leaves and mud and kept running without anything slowing me down.
But my fingers refused to open.
A few hours ago, that dress had belonged to a completely different Emily.
The Emily who could still worry about whether the color suited her, whether the back was too revealing, whether the fabric sat properly around her waist.
Now it reminded me of a life that felt so far away it might have belonged to someone else.
I pulled the bag closer to my body.
Maybe that was why I couldn’t let it go.
As long as I still had it, there was at least some proof that my old life had been real.
That I hadn’t imagined it.
That maybe I could still go back.
The thought made me move again.
Slowly at first, limping because of my injured knee.
Then faster.
Just a little farther.
I only needed a little farther.
The forest gradually began to thin.
I didn’t notice immediately. There was more light between the trees now. The bushes caught on my clothes less often, and ahead of me, something grey began to emerge.
My heart stopped.
I blinked, almost afraid to trust my own eyes.
A road.
An ordinary road.
Only a few dozen yards away.
I ran faster.
Where the strength came from, I had no idea.
The final branches struck painfully against my arms. One scratched my neck.
Then, a few seconds later, my feet hit solid tarmac.
The forest was behind me.
I stopped so suddenly that momentum pitched me forward. I braced one hand on my knee and bent over, trying to catch my breath.
The first attempt at breathing properly failed.
So did the second.
On the third, cold air finally filled my lungs and I started coughing as darkness flickered briefly across my vision.
I don’t care.
I got out.
Slowly, I straightened and looked around.
The empty road stretched into the distance.
No houses.
No people.
But none of that mattered.
The important thing was that there were no more trees.
Nowhere to hide.
Nowhere to approach without being seen.
I turned around.
The dark wall of forest remained perfectly still.
I listened.
No footsteps.
No voices.
No branches snapping.
Only the wind moving lazily through the treetops.
Did I actually… make it?
I took one cautious step backwards.
Then another.
A short laugh suddenly escaped me.
I covered my mouth with my hand at once, startled by the sound of my own voice.
And then tears began to run down my cheeks.
They mixed with sweat, reached my lips, burned against the scratches on my skin, and I stood in the middle of an empty road and, for the first time in what felt like forever, allowed myself to believe something impossible.
I had escaped.
God…
I had actually escaped.
‘I gave you plenty of time to run.’
A man’s voice sounded right behind me.
Ice swept down my spine.
My heart missed one heavy beat.
I didn’t turn around.
I couldn’t.
Because in that exact second, I already understood.
I hadn’t escaped at all.
And the most terrifying part wasn’t that he had found me.
It was that I had never truly doubted he would.
I had still kept running.
Clinging to the impossible.
To the fragile hope that somewhere ahead there had to be a place he couldn’t reach me.
I think that was the moment my life stopped belonging to me.
How did I end up here?
Well… I suppose I’ll have to start from the beginning.
