Lonely Desires [MATURE 18+]

Home alone once more, my parents are somewhere in the world making another deal, and my sister is in another city. I lock the doors and shut the windows. I pull down all layers of clothing and I catch my reflection. Eighteen years old and no facial hair-a blessing or a curse? Is it because of me, or did all the skincare routines my sister forced me to do affect it? I don’t have much leg hair either-it is blonde and short-but I still love the soft feel of my skin after I epilate. My curly hair is nice-I love it-and my blue eyes have earned me some praise along the way. As I start the water, I relieve myself; I do not like having to clean up down there after I have already showered, and it is much nicer this way for what is about to come. The hot water feels amazing on my body.

After giving the same treatment to my entire body, I crouch, using the shower head and my finger to clean my anal cavity. The water that misses and hits my private parts is another source of pleasure. It is a bit of a prelude-my fingers in my anus-for what will be next. I cycle through three butt plugs, the last one being a vibrator which I leave turned on. The towel feels nice on my skin, and even though my hair isn’t long, I still like to wrap it up when possible. I don’t need much makeup; red lipstick and black eyeliner are more than enough.

Even though the dressing room has many new clothes, I head to the guest room, which over time has become a space with two walls of closets and drawers for old clothes and shoes that are still in good shape. First, I retrieve a pair of beige high-heeled sandals. I don’t have much practice in high heels, so I take any chance to wear them and get more used to the feeling. Fastening the straps and taking the towel off, I go to the underwear drawer, where I grab a C-cup black push-up bra-makes me feel like I have something to cover-my chest being flat. I don’t really mind it, but I’m not in love either. The material hugs my body, and I can already feel more feminine, which is kind of a turn on. I pull on a pair of black thongs to match the bra, taking my time, letting the material touch my clean legs, giving me a tickling sensation, until they get as far as they can, the string being lost when arriving at the peach shaped body part; as I hold my thighs together I touch the flat surface between my legs, sending a jolt of pleasure to my brain. I take my time, especially when I am alone; the preparation itself is a lustful act.

The bed is soft. I keep my back straight, one leg stretched out while one knee is up. Smoothness-that is the best way to describe it-and combined with the vibrations from behind, everything feels amazing. While I could take the next step in my current clothes, it is nicer to have something up and to pull something down. I grab a short, black satin halter dress-of whose history I know nothing about. I can never get tired of satin. The outfit is complete and my body is hugged by these lovely materials, but it still feels slightly off. Taking the dress back down, I grab a corset to tie underneath, bringing my hips to the exact size I want before getting dressed again. There was something empowering in being able to modelate myself, sometimes taking my breath when tying it too much, but I guess this is the price of beauty. Even though I have more courage to do all this from when I started, and learned a few tricks along the way, with some money to spend, I am not yet ready to reveal this side to the world, or to anyone. All of this is just for me, using toys that aren’t expensive enough for my parents to notice, designed to mimic the movements of another.

The box is well hidden so it won’t be found-maybe not that well, but somewhere no one really checks. Now it sits on the table in plain view. I grab the penis-shaped toy, complete with testicles. It isn’t as soft as a real one because of the vibrator inside. Getting on my knees, I hold it against the wall and slowly start to lick it, my tongue loving the skin-like material. I suck it from the tip to the middle, wrapping my lips tightly around its shape, my saliva and wet lips helping create a smoother motion. It feels like sucking on a lollipop-the best one you could ever have. A succulent toy.

After enjoying the toy with my mouth, I roll a condom over it and secure it to the floor with its suction cup. Spreading my legs while still on my knees, I remove the vibrating butt plug, placing it on a towel next to me. Even though I am empty, the sensation that something wants to slip out is still there. I lift the dress and pull aside the string of the panties covering my anus. Lowering my hips, I insert the tip of the dildo. It is still a little cold, and the contact sends a shiver through my entire body. Going slowly, I feel myself being filled. The lube is helpful and makes things even more enjoyable, though the dildo could easily enter on its own to occupy the space left by the butt plug.

I pause as I reach its base and just hold still, enjoying the feeling inside, my body trembling once more as my anus closes tightly around it. I steady myself on my heels and start moving again, up and down, getting hotter and hotter with each motion. Grabbing the remote, I turn on the vibrations, cycling through the modes until one hits the perfect spot so well that I feel my eyes roll back. The other button controls the thrusting function, moving in sync with my rhythm, pushing a little deeper and much faster. I go faster and faster, up and down, abandoning my heels to put my hands on the floor in front of me. My anal cavity feels amazing, sliding in and out, filling and emptying me. Everything is clean, everything is lubed; nothing stops me, and nothing gross can ruin this feeling. I clench my muscles. Highly stimulated, it doesn’t take long for the fluid to start dripping.

I can feel my face burning red. Lifting myself up, I get ready for the finish. I remove the condom and take out the next toy-another dildo, but this one is designed for thrusting and features a tongue-like stimulator in the middle. I set it up against the nightstand. With my knees down and feet up, spreading myself over it, I slowly move back and let it slide in. Pressing the button, it starts to thrust deeper and faster while the tongue-like part flicks up and down the channels of my lower body. It moves in a soft manner so as not to hurt me, allowing air to flow freely from my body and back thanks to the space created by the tongue. I grab the first toy and pull it in front of me, starting to suck it, licking off the remaining lube and taking my time.

The work in the back is happening automatically, so I can focus entirely on the front. My ass is used to the rhythm; it is a reflex, moving on its own while I keep the dildo tight in my mouth, sucking hard so I don’t lose it as I am thrust upon. As I climax, my pace quickens before finally slowing down, emptying myself first in a rush and then drop by drop. I leave the toys running as I pull myself away, rolling over onto the floor to stretch my feet above my head to catch the last drops of my own fluid. It is warm on my tongue, my mouth filling up little by little until only drips remain. I lie there, stretched out, sweaty, and exhausted. I could easily fall asleep right here, my mouth, dress, and legs smeared with fluid. But I sit up, turn off the pink thrusting dildo, and stand up on trembling legs. I insert the butt plug back in and climb onto the bed, falling asleep before I even realize it.

***

Everything is exactly as I left it; only the time of day has changed. Stimulated by the vibrations in my sleep, I feel like there is even more fluid on my legs now. My body feels amazing, the pleasure winding right back up as I run my hands from my lower body to my chest. If I do this much longer, I will fall right back asleep. I get up, my legs feeling steadier. I pull the dress down, covering as much of my private area as possible. It needs to be washed, but not yet; I will wait until I gather the rest of the laundry.

I grab the dildos and go wash, clean, and disinfect them. Touching them is smooth and makes me horny all over again, especially with the stroking motion of washing them. I leave them on a towel to dry in the room next to the toy box. I slide the dress off and leave it there too. The thong is also soaked, its soft texture masked by the mess. I take it off, leaving myself in nothing but my high heels and bra. I take a wet towel, wipe myself down, and leave it next to the dress.Next in store is a dark purple pleated skirt, worn with nothing underneath to let the cool air gently touch my skin. A beige tank top over my chest brings my vision to life. My makeup is still intact, but I want to change it. Wiping it all off, I grab a dark purple lipstick and black eyeliner, applying them from scratch.

I have a list of chores to complete next. My parents don’t keep a full-time maid since they are gone so often; they only pay someone to clean right before they return so everything is in order when they arrive. They buy whatever is needed, so whoever enters doesn’t need to bring anything, and their backpack with food is left upfront, in view of the security cameras. They call me a day before she comes, she’s very tidy and knows exactly how to maintain the house. I have my own small chores that I have learned to do; if I do them wrong, I am told to stop doing them altogether.

I step down the stairs, the heels of my beige sandals clicking against the wood, my dark purple pleated skirt swaying around my bare thighs as my beige tank top hugs my chest. I opened a tutorial on my phone for training a softer voice. I practice while I wash the dishes and start the washing machine. I water the plants, change the cat’s litter, and feed her. Stacy is her name. She has an automatic feeder, but I like to feed and pet her myself. I take my time with the chores, keeping my back straight, practicing my walk, and speaking aloud. I hang the clothes to dry and pick up Stacy, playing with her for a bit; she is already a few years old.

As I sit her next to me on the couch, I pull my phone closer to review a part of the tutorial I didn’t quite catch. Suddenly, something warm and fluffy touches my legs, waking me back to reality. It is Bruno, our male cat. His fluffy fur against my epilated legs is a source of pure pleasure, feeling like someone is gently tickling me. Stacy climbs onto my skirt, and my intimate parts feel her weight. I start to think she knows when I am pantyless, as she behaves differently when she curls up on me. Or perhaps my exposed parts underneath are just feeling everything with heightened sensitivity.

I don’t have much else planned. High school is over, and I am waiting for my university application to be accepted. I go up to my room and grab a book. It is called Infinite in Between. I love it, even if my own high school experience was nothing like it. I don’t have many friends, and my time at home is usually spent trying on clothes at night while my family sleeps, or in the middle of the day when they are gone.

Exploring myself doesn’t leave much room for other relationships. I have a few friends and go out when my parents aren’t away on business or vacation, but it is mostly for appearances.I love the sound of the high-heels over the wood, even if the echo of the house makes it louder, its existence gives me more courage. Back on the couch I can feel its coldness, the skirt not being thick enough to stop it. Stacy returns to my lap as Bruno wraps himself around my sandals, tickling me without meaning to. Reading aloud keeps me on track with my soft voice, each paragraph slowly to make sure every syllable is enunciated exactly as it should be, or how I believe it should be. The walls repeat what I say, but I do not trust it, so a recording helps me to make sure how I sound to the outside world. Stacy seems attentive to the book, while Bruno falls asleep, a jolt running through me when he moves.

***

Light starts to dim around the house. The small windows I left uncovered give no more light, and the only remaining source is the bulbs in this room. Back in the guest room, I start undressing, stripping down and leaving my clothes on the bed. Even though it is summer, the coldness of the lonely house touches me, making me shiver even more than before. I take my makeup off and go for another shower, the hot water washing away every trace of liquid left on me. It feels nice, but I am tired, enjoying it only as much as my mind allows.

This time, I wrap a towel around my chest and only use another on my hair until I feel little to no water left in it. I grab a black bodysuit to wear as pajamas. After hiding the toys, I gather everything that needs to be washed and leave them next to the washing machine. I wrap myself in a soft blanket, its slight chill brushing against my clean, warm body. I could have gone another round, but I decided to wrap myself around the pillow instead, holding one part to my chest and another between my thighs.

It doesn’t take long to fall asleep and enter dreamland. A passionate dream holds my attention, but it is forgotten the moment I wake up and get up. This doesn’t make it any less enjoyable. I am with my group, joining in on their plan to go to the beach for the last summer we’ll be together. I am truly myself, and everything feels normal-as it should-with no judging eyes. Our relationships stay almost the same.