Movies, popcorn and sweet memories

Darcy Pov

It was raining outside, which might not have been that significant if it wasn’t for the fact that Mum had disappeared yet again and we were outside, I was ok as I loved dancing in the rain, (I was also 5 at the time, so I guess that could be a factor into why I loved the rain so much).

Anyway, Mum wasn’t outside with Libby and I, (that wasn’t all that unusual, so no alarm bells were ringing for me yet), and if I was really thinking about it, we hadn’t seen Mum in about 30 minutes, so much so that Libby had started to worry, (yeah we both got Dad’s worrying, but I got the ‘try and fix said worry’ gene from Dad’s Mum).

“Darcy”

“Yeah Libby”

“Where’s Mummy?”

“She’s inside the house”

“I can’t get in”

That was when my stomach started twisting and turning, (this was anxiety rearing its ugly head, but 5 year old me didn’t know that), because the door was never supposed to be locked when we were outside without Mum, (Dad had implemented that rule before we were allowed outside by ourselves), so naturally there was something off about the whole thing, (and I didn’t like it).

“We need to knock on Miss Lavender’s door, as she’ll have a key!”

“But Darcy, Mummy said we’re not supposed to knock on doors without her”

“But the door’s locked and Daddy said it’s not supposed to be, plus I’ll do the talking so that you don’t get into trouble with Mummy”

“Ok”

So we knocked on Miss Lavender’s front door, heart’s pounding faster and faster even though I knew that she’d have a key as Dad gave her a key, (Mum wasn’t exactly good on her own if we’re being honest about things), she then answered the door.

“Hello Darlings, has Mummy asked you about borrowing some milk?, I do owe her after last week”

“No Miss Lavender, um, can you, uh, can you help us get into our house?, uh, please?, the door’s locked and it’s not supposed to be”

“Of course Darlings, lead the way”

We lead Miss Lavender to our front door, as there wasn’t much else we could’ve done at 4 and 5 years old, (though looking back on it as an adult, Miss Lavender couldn’t help much either as she was fucking ancient), she unlocked the door, stepped a foot in, and came back out again, (and knowing the scene that was in front of her, I don’t know how she didn’t scream).

“We’ll ring Daddy, he can unlock the second door”

“Ok Miss Lavender”

As Miss Lavender went to ring Dad, (it was like the early 2000′s here, so it was THE Nokias that were indestructible), I saw Mum swinging from the ceiling, I was just frozen in fear, as I knew that if I screamed that Libby would’ve seen her too, and even at 5 years old, I was in my own way, protecting my little sister.

It felt like a goddamn eternity before Dad got home, but honestly it was probably no more than 20 minutes, (which would’ve been impressive if it wasn’t for the swinging dead body, ya know), I don’t know if Miss Lavender copped that I saw or not, I don’t remember the eternity before Dad came, just that it felt like a eternity.

Anyway, as soon as I saw Dad coming towards us, I ran up to him as fast as my little legs could carry me, (I was scared and Dad always made it less scary for me), Dad probably figured out that something was wrong at this point, as I wasn’t one for running into his arms, (unless something was wrong of course), but he didn’t say anything about it right then and there, ya know.

After that it was just a blur of police officers and questions and honestly I have blocked all that out, (that’s probably not a good thing, but I think that was my brain of protecting itself), and if I’m being completely honest here, (which I try to be), I actually don’t remember anything until I woke up from a nightmare about Mum’s swinging body that night and Dad came rushing in when he heard screams, (even though it looked like he had been crying himself), as soon as I saw Dad, I just started crying, (and Dad just held me).

“Oh Bambi, (sniffs), what happened?”

“I saw Mummy swinging”

“I’m sorry Baby, (cry kiss to the temple), I’m so sorry”

“Why are you sorry Daddy?, you were at work?”

“I, uh, I don’t know Darling, uh, I, I feel bad, you’re just a baby-”

“I’m not a baby, I’m a big girl, I go to school all day now”

“You do Sweetheart, but in the grand scheme of things you’re still so little Bambi”

“Oh”