Intro

Trevor

Lunch is the only time of day that I don’t have teachers breathing down my fucking neck about doing something “bad,” and I’m so thankful for it.

Currently though I’d prefer the teachers having a shit fit over something stupid I did than dealing with Aiden trying to flirt with me subtly.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s hot, and we’ve made out at least twice before. But I’m not interested in him the way he is in me.

It’s frustrating.

“Dude, shut up,” Zac spoke, swatting Aiden’s arm. “You’re fucking obnoxious,”

Aiden turned his attention to Zac and they started to bicker.

I swear if Zac wasn't dating Beck he and Aiden would be banging. They already argue like a couple that's been married for thirty years.

Beck, as per the usual, looked entirely unimpressed and just rolled his eyes at his boyfriend and Aiden.

“Would you two shut the fuck up?” Alex laughed, throwing a balled up worksheet from one of her classes at the two of them.

“No!” Zac and Aiden hissed in unison.

I rolled my eyes at them.

“You’re really quiet today,” Erica commented, attention on me.

“Tired,” I shrugged. “You know how it is running for Keiren,”

She nodded.

Erica wasn’t involved in what Beck, Aiden, and I do, but she knows about it. She wouldn’t know if Aiden wasn’t a fucking loudmouth though. It’s a miracle half the school doesn’t know about Kieren selling drugs because of Aiden.

“You and Beck are so broody,” Erica laughed a little.

I shrugged.

Beck’s quiet because he’s fucked up in the head from losing his ’rents.

I’m quiet because I have no reason not to be. What I have to say doesn't matter in the long run.

Of course I have absolutely no issue speaking my mind though, and it frequently lands me in bad situations.

“Playing the stereotypical emo boy with no friends,” I chuckled finally.

The bell rang and every bit of life left in me drained out at that moment.

I have history after lunch.

“Fuck meee,” I groaned as I grabbed my bag off the floor from between my feet.

“Why the fuck do you even carry that?” Aiden laughed as he stood up, fixing his hoodie.

“I try to at least look like I’m putting the effort in,” I shrugged. “Plus my little brother hates his backpack so I have to “lead by example,” as my step-mother says,” I rolled my eyes.

Aiden laughed. “You’re an awful example,”

“No shit Sherlock,” I snorted, punching his arm.

He rolled his eyes again and shoved me. He ended up shoving me into someone.

“Shit, my bad-” I started before I realized who I’d been pushed into.

Simon fucking Peters.

I suddenly felt butterflies swarming in my stomach.

“S-Sorry,” I stuttered, feeling my cheeks getting hot.

I’ve never spoken to him before. He’s a year older so I’ve never had a reason to.

He just glared at me looking disgusted by my existence.

Fuck he’s hot. I don’t care if he’s looking at me like I’m a worm.

“Watch where you’re going fag,” he snapped at me.

I rolled my eyes.

Normally I would punch someone for that, but oh my god.

That pissed him off.

He swung on me.

He hit me hard too.

I was stunned for a second before I instinctively swung on him in response.

“Oh shit,” I heard Aiden mutter before he backed away from us, merging into the crowd that was gathering around us.

“Fight!” Someone yelled.

The next couple minutes were a total blur.

Simon and I ended up against some lockers. Well, I ended up against the lockers. Simon was in front of me currently trying to beat my head in.

Under less dangerous circumstances I’d be ecstatic that Simon had me pinned against the lockers.

His hands were occupied pinning me down so he decided to headbutt me.

I could still taste my own blood in my mouth.

Simon and I were sitting in the school’s front office waiting for the principal or vice principal to get done with whatever they were doing.

“Stop looking at me you fucking fairy,”

I flipped him off in response.

“What, can’t talk?” He laughed cruelly.

“What the fuck would I have to say to you, asshole?” I asked rhetorically.

“Boys! Language!” The secretary finally spoke up.

I rolled my eyes in response.

Simon glared at me the whole rest of the time we waited.

We ended up being assigned detention.

I got threatened expulsion, again.

And the principal said we were lucky we didn’t have any income due to being students or else we’d be paying to have the locker we dented replaced.

If he knew how many hundreds of dollars I have...

I don't know if I could pay for the lockers, but I definitely have income.

I groaned as I opened the door to the detention room for the evening.

The high school I go to has a daycare type of center where preschoolers are left for half the day to be taught by students going into the teaching field.

That’s where detention was held tonight.

“Trevor?” Mrs. Robinson asked, giving me a little smile.

“Hey Sara,” I waved.

Sara Robinson is my step-mother’s sister. She’s also the only adult in my life who knows how much trouble I get in and still believes I’ll turn out okay.

Even I gave up on that.

“What did you do?”

“Fought,” I shrugged. “Well...I got punched, and I defended myself,”

Sara rolled her eyes. “Trevor you have to stop that shit,”

“I know,”

She shook her head, giving me a little smile.

“So like...are there desks?” I asked.

“Nope,”

I blinked. “So we just...what, sit on the floor?”

“Yup. Mind the pee stains, toddlers,”

I made a face.

Gross.

“Uh, will do,”

Simon came in shortly after I picked a spot that wasn’t on the brightly colored rug that had a giant caterpillar with the letters of the alphabet on it’s body.

“You’re late, Simon,” Sara hummed.

“Sorry, got caught up, had to call my mom and let her know I had detention,”

“Well, I’ll warn you like I did Trevor, watch the pee spots,”

“Gross,”

I snorted a little.

“You two are more than welcome to clean the rug if you’re so disgusted by it,”

“Isn’t that like...the janitor’s job?” I asked.

“You think that lazy asshole does anything?” She scoffed.

The janitor is her ex-boyfriend. There’s really bad blood there I take it.

“Uh,” I blinked a couple times. "I guess not,"

A quiet blanketed the room for a while. The only noise was Sara occasionally scribbling something down or flipping a page.

“So, Trev’, how’s Janine?” Sara asked when I got up, and began snooping through the little trinkets on her desk.

I looked up at her and shrugged. “Janine still treats me like I don’t exist half the time while she makes my father scold me for doing dumb shit,” I replied, picking up a glass elephant, examining the delicate features of the little figurine.

“Mason occupies her attention wholly and because I’m from the ex wife she doesn’t like me,” I added.

Janine is a bitch.

She expects me to fuck up, but when I do she acts like she expects me to be perfect.

“My sister is such a bitch,” Sara sighed.

Their relationship is strained and has been since I hit high school a year ago.

“Do we like...have to stay the whole time?” I asked.

Sara looked at the clock. “Unfortunately for all of us, yes,”

“Fuckkkk,” I drawled, rolling my head back.

“Dude, shut up,” I heard some other kid snap. “Fucking leave me alone Simon, I don’t gossip like you and all your little friends do,”

I rolled my eyes.

Simon is a problem.

A big problem.

He’s so fucking hot. And I have like the hugest crush on him.

I’ve liked him since I saw him the first time in seventh grade.

He’s my age but a year ahead because his birthday is early enough.

I would literally die to run my fingers through his sandy brown hair. To kiss him.

Literally to just breathe in his general vicinity at this point.

Simon Peters is part of the reason I’m not into Aiden.

Finally Sara let us out of detention a few minutes early.

I felt anxious to leave the school though.

Kier’ doesn’t need me tonight which means I essentially have to go home.

I don’t want to.

I wasn’t paying attention while I walked toward the front doors of the school. I was going off of instinct alone and ended up smacking face first into the door before I realized how close I was.

“Jesus Christ you’re fucking dumb,”

I shook my head and glanced toward the voice to find Simon standing there, leaned casually against the wall.

I shrugged in response before I pushed the door open.

Before I got out the door though Simon grabbed the back of my shirt aggressively.

“The fuck’s wrong with you? Why don’t you ever talk?”

He sounded actually curious. It was weird.

I shrugged again.

Why should I speak? Nobody wants to listen anyway.

“Jesus Christ,” he shook his head, shoving me to the floor.

I didn’t make a move to get up even, I just stayed there on the floor as he stepped over me.

Once he was outside I got up and headed outside myself.

He was standing under the overhang on the phone with someone. Most likely getting a ride since it’s currently pissing the rain down.

I sighed, shaking my head as I stepped out into the pouring rain.

I should be able to get home by nine...

“What the fuck is actually wrong with you?” Simon mocked.

I rolled my eyes and raised my hand up, flipping him off over my head as I walked.

“You fucking wish faggot!” He called in response.

“Go fuck yourself, Simon!” I called back, continuing to walk.

The rain got worse.

Now I’m sitting at a bus stop that I’m pretty sure isn’t even a stop anymore, shivering, trying to call my father who probably has his phone off.

I closed my eyes taking a shaky breath in.

I felt the tears stinging my eyes.

Way to go being a walking fucking stereotype, Trev’. I mocked myself.

Depressed emo boy crying in the rain because daddy doesn’t love him anymore.

I couldn’t help but to laugh at how fucking pitiful I am. Then the tears came in full force.

I sank down to the ground, hugging my knees to my chest as I cried.

I was surprised when I heard my name being called from inside a vehicle that had stopped in front of the rickety little overhang I was sitting under.

I wiped my eyes on my sleeves, looking at the vehicle.

Simon was in the passenger seat, window cracked enough to be heard from inside the car.

I just sat there, staring blankly.

He gave me a ”what the fuck are you doing?" look.

He got out of the car after a minute and came over before he grabbed my by the arms and lifted me to my feet.

“You really are fucking stupid,” he commented as he dragged me over to the car before shoving me into the back seat.

It was Simon’s father who picked him, and me, up.

Somehow I ended up at their house.

Their house was really nice inside. It was warm and cozy and smelled like some gentle floral scent I couldn’t place.

“Why’d you stop,” I demanded, looking at Simon who was lounging on the couch in the basement that was also his bedroom.

“I didn’t want to, dad recognized you though or something, I dunno.”

I fidgeted with my fingers uncomfortably.

“Why the fuck were you at a bus stop?”

I didn’t respond, just stood there.

“Earth to dumbfuck?”

“What the fuck do you want me to say, Simon?” I snapped suddenly. “Daddy doesn’t love me so I was crying like a little bitch because I don’t have anybody who gives a fuck about me?”

He frowned at me.

“You’re pathetic.”

“Yeah, no shit.” I scoffed.

He rolled his eyes at that before he got up.

I closed my eyes, expecting to be hit.

Instead I heard the scrape of a wooden drawer being pulled out.

I opened my eyes to find Simon digging through a dresser drawer.

When he stood up again he had a shirt and pants in hand, which he proceeded to toss at me.

Oh my god. Does he want me to wear his clothes?

I just blinked a few times, slowly crouching down to pick up the clothes that had hit my chest and then fell to the floor.

“I’m going upstairs for some food. You get changed or whatever,” he spoke before he brushed passed me to go upstairs.

I was short-circuiting at the moment.

First he picked me up practically. Then he brought me home. Now he gave me his clothes to put on?

I silently died a little before I changed quickly.

I headed upstairs after getting changed, holding my wet clothes.

“What did...you want me to do with these?” I asked when I met him at the top of the stairs.

“Why do you talk so slow?” He muttered before shaking his head. “Come on, I’ll put them in the wash,”

I nodded a little before following.

Finally my clothes were taken care of, back on me, and now I’m standing awkwardly in the basement with Simon.

He’s on his phone and I’m just...awkward.

I really wanted to die at that exact second.

My phone saved me though when it began ringing.

I answered the call from my step-mother.

“Where the fuck are you?!” She screamed at me before I could say anything. “School ended hours ago! I bet you’re out buying fucking drugs or something, aren’t you?”

“I’m at a...person from school’s house.” I answered.

“Why didn’t you fucking call?” She hissed.

“Maybe if Dad had his phone on instead of turning it off all the goddamn time because you demand all his attention you’d know I called like seven fucking times, Janine,”

“Trevor! Don’t you dare speak to your mother that way!”

“She’s not my fucking mother!” I snapped back.

By now Simon was staring at me intently.

Get some fuckin’ popcorn asshole, enjoy the shit show.

“Don’t even think about coming home until you’re ready to behave yourself.” Dad spoke coldly into the phone.

“Don’t fuckin’ expect to see me again ever then dad, all I’ll ever be is a fuck-up and we all know it,” I scoffed before hanging up.

I clutched my phone tightly, ready to throw it across the room.

“What the fuck was that?”

“None of your business. Go fuck yourself.” I snapped in response.

Simon raised a brow at me.

“You remind me of a cat I had when I was like eight,”

I made a face at him. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“You’re like...tiny as fuck but you’re mean."

I rolled my eyes.

“On that note, I’m going to leave.” I stated.

“Dude it’s like pissing the rain down still,”

“I’d rather fucking sit out in the rain and get hypothermia,” I shrugged before I started toward the stairs.

Simon grabbed my wrist before I got up three steps.

“Fucking stop, sit down you idiot,”

“Why do you give a fuck? I’m just a pathetic dumb faggot,” I hissed.

The tears started again.

Before I knew it I was breaking down like a child and Simon was standing there like a deer in headlights.

He awkwardly sat on the steps beside me and patted my back.

“Jesus Christ I want to fucking die,” I muttered as I finally managed to compose myself some, wiping my eyes roughly with my sleeve.

“You have some serious issues,”

“Go fuck yourself.”

Simon rolled his eyes as he got up off the steps.

“Still wanna go get hypothermia and die or?”

I rolled my eyes and stood up.

I ended up on the couch with Simon who had once again returned to his phone.

I was tired. Exhausted.

I cried twice tonight. I was still cold from the rain. I felt miserable.

I ended up dozing off at some point.

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of the stairs creaking.

I sat up off the couch, looking toward the stairs to find Simon coming down them holding a bottle of water and a sandwich.

“What time is it?” I mumbled groggily, rubbing my eyes.

“Like four?” He shrugged.

“And you’re eating a sandwich?” I asked, a little confused by his choice in snack.

“Yeah?”

I blinked a couple times before I laid down again.

“Simon,” I spoke after a bit.

“Huh?”

“I uh...thanks for...this,” I spoke a little quietly. “I don’t...don’t really know what uhh I’d do if you didn’t get me earlier...”

“Meh,”

There was a silence for a few minutes.

“So like,” he started. “I heard the fight you had, er part of it,” he added.

“Yeah, go ahead spread to the school that Trevor has daddy issues,” I scoffed.

“Wh- No, I was going to ask if you like...needed a place?”

“No,”

“You got kicked out,” he countered.

“I have friends.”

“Who, Beck? Aiden?” He laughed a little.

“Shut the fuck up. Also, don’t act like Beck, at least, is a fucking loser or something because I know goddamn well he beat your ass so many times before,”

“What, gonna go tattle to your boyfriend?” He scoffed.

“He’s not my boyfriend,”

“Oh, then Aiden is,” he laughed at me.

“Did you consider I don’t like men?” I asked.

I do, but still.

“Bullshit, you’re a fag. Everybody knows you and Aiden made out over the summer, and at homecoming,”

“Okay? Kissing someone doesn’t mean shit.”

“Yeah sure, I’m sure you’re so straight Trevor.”

“What, jealous I kissed Aiden instead of you?” I asked.

“Shut the fuck up,”

I rolled my eyes before turning onto my side.

Simon’s mother accidentally found out I was kicked out and ended up more or less telling me I was staying there while things got worked out.

Simon was pissed about it.

I’ll just stay for the weekend, and then go to Aiden. I know his mother will let me stay.

Aiden may get the wrong idea though. He commonly does and gets pissy about it when I correct him.

“So, Trevor, what’s going on at home that caused your father to kick you out?” Simon’s mother, Elaina, asked.

“I uhh...got into a fight with my step-mother last night and Dad got upset with me,” I shrugged. “They didn’t get any of the calls I tried to do and she called yelling at me,” I explained.

“Oh I’m so sorry sweetheart,” she frowned.

“It’s...” I shrugged helplessly.

"It is what it is," I spoke finally. Repeating the words I've lived by for the last couple years.

Simon rolled his eyes behind his mother, eating a bowl of cereal.

“Simon sit down with your food,” his mom scolded lightly.

“Sorry,” he responded quietly before sitting down.

“Trevor would you like anything to eat?” Elaina asked. “You’re skin and bone,” she frowned.

“I’m okay,” I replied. “Not a breakfast person,” I added.

Tonight was pretty much the same as the first.

I sat awkwardly in silence beside Simon on the couch in the basement while he was on his phone.

Kier’ texted me tonight though.

Begged me to meet him.