Hunting the Perfect Recipe

Five Years Ago

Molly

I like Tanner Trent so much!

It’s hot under the stage lights, making me feel sweaty and tired, and I hope the minty gum I’m chewing and the deodorant I used hide it a bit.

I’m so uncomfortable with the photographer taking pics of our very last rehearsals, because I know how silly I must look dancing with the prettiest boy in school.

I’m half a head taller than Tanner!

Well, I’m taller than almost all the boys, even though many of them are a year older than me because the Year Six and Year Seven kids are combined in our segment of the show.

Mum says the boys will catch up and pass me when they reach the tenth grade, but I’m not so sure about that. I’m a giant in a world of pixie boys.

Though I wouldn’t want it shoved in my face in picture form, I don’t care how stupid I must look standing beside someone as perfect as Tan, because I’m so happy that he became my third partner!

I never would’ve gotten to know him if it didn’t happen.

He’s so much nicer than I thought he was. So much fun to be with!

My first partner got stolen, the second hurt his leg, and then Tan’s partner got sick, and I was so scared that he would reject me when Teacher said I had to join him. I had a hard time hiding how horrified I was. Tan had made no secret of not liking his previous partner—my friend Stephanie—he flat-out refused to hold her hand for any of the dance moves.

I was so nervous!

When I reluctantly joined him, staring at my glittery, sparkling sneakers, I nearly fainted when he suddenly held out his hand to me. When I took it, thinking he was going to yank it back at the last moment, I looked up, surprised to see him shyly smile at me like a Christmas Card Angel.

Tan has a pretty strong grip for such a small boy, and we often hold hands when it’s not even necessary, like now. He’s not letting go, even though the music stopped again, because nobody is doing what they’re supposed to do, and Teacher is battling to get everyone in their right positions.

Near us, Tan’s cousin, the feisty fairy who stole my tiny partner, Asher Wright, is sitting on Ash’s back, and I’m surprised that he doesn’t crumble. He’s even smaller than her. He always looks like a sad, scolded puppy, and I think he might be Paisley’s pet.

I’m sorry, Mum, but if that guy is ever taller than me, I’ll shave my head.

Actually, I would love to shave my head, because my long red curls drive me nuts, trying to escape from the elastic keeping it in two high ponytails. I have such chaotic hair.

The only reason why I don’t cut it off is that it will break my mother’s heart.

A few feet to our other side, Paisley’s brother, Jake, is trying to explain the math behind the twirling sequence to my friend Noelle, but he might as well give up because she sucks at math. I can see her impatiently tapping her foot, getting ready to kick him in the shins.

She doesn’t enjoy Jake’s wacky scientific explanations as much as I always do.

Ronan Swift, my neighbour and best male buddy, clearly needs rehearsals to be over so he can go for a run because he’s doing his own type of overly energetic dancing, rolling his hips disturbingly—we sometimes sing and dance along with our favourite anime, and I recognise that dance.

My best friend Saanvi Sewpersad is his partner, and she has her hands over her face, hiding from all those wild moves.

Her heart must be beating a mile a minute now, because when I told her how I feel about Tanner, she admitted to me that she’s glad Ro became my brother because she has a massive crush on him.

It would be wonderful if my brother and sister fell in love, but her dad will have a huge problem with that.

Uhm… that sounded sooooooooooo weird…

I just mean, Saanvi and Ro are like my siblings. They’re not like each other’s siblings at all!

I’ve had a crush on Hunter Drake for many years, and I guess I still do a little bit, but this month with Tanner has been wooooooooonderful.

He is so sneaky and full of fun. I love the sound of his laughter while he watches Blanche, the half-Ethiopian girl who says she’s gonna be the president one day, scold Hunter because he never shuts up. She’s so lucky to be his partner. He’s kind and friendly, and I think the nonsense he talks is so much fun.

No! I don’t want to be his partner anymore.

I like Tan!

I never thought I would like him.

My friends, Stephanie and Noelle, have big plans to share him as their boyfriend. They have a calendar with a schedule to take turns and everything. They have to keep changing the dates as time moves on because Tanner doesn’t seem to want a girlfriend.

They’re always gushing about his beautiful eyes, his glowing lips, and his sweet face. I used to think he was a bit too pretty for my liking. To be honest, it’s very easy to think he’s a little girl. That’s not my type at all. Hunter is my type.

But that pretty face is just Tan’s wrapping. It’s not who he is.

I know that now.

I used to be a bit scared of him because I don’t understand his strange grey eyes and his bursts of violence, but he’s always very gentle with me. He even laughs when I say strange things. He never tells me not to talk so much or to stop being weird.

I’m having so much fun hanging out with him!

I don’t want this concert to end… ever!

“Children! Get it together! Take it from the top again!” Mrs Baxter shouts, clapping her hands, moving among us, trying to end the moments of mayhem where everybody seems to be doing just what they want.

Tan and I are the only ones standing still, holding hands in a sea of chaos.

I turn my head and catch him looking at me. His eyes, as always, startle me, but it’s that smile that just kills me! It makes up for the unsettling look in his grey eyes.

“Let’s go, Granger,” he grins, and we get into position, ready for the next round of jumps, steps and twirls. We laugh, moving in sequence, our voices blending beautifully while we sing the words to the song about an Adventure in Toyland—the theme of this year’s concert.

I love singing!

I think Tanner likes it too.

Our voices fit together so well; I want to sing with him for the rest of my life. A long, long, loooooooooooong love song.

I giggle when I twirl him, and he does that cocky stride of his like he’s too cool to twirl, but kinda likes doing it anyway. Then it’s my turn. It’s a bit more tricky, because I have to duck under his arm, being taller than him. We’re pretty good at it now. We no longer smack me in the nose with our joined hands.

One, turn, two…

“Oh!” I exclaim when I try to lift my foot, and it won’t move. For a second, I don’t know what’s happening, and then I realise that I’ve stepped on my own laces… and I’m tripping.

“Watch out!” I yell at Tan, afraid that I’ll hurt him if I fall on him, but instead of watching out, he steps closer and wraps his arms around me so that my back crashes into his front.

For a heartbeat, we just freeze like that, caught in a weird hug with Tan’s arms around me from behind, his hands clutching over my chest and waist.

Relieved to be on my feet, I turn my head to thank him, and I’m startled to find his face right next to mine. Arched over backwards against his chest, I’m suddenly level with him, literally bringing us face to face.

For a moment, I stare in surprise, mesmerised as his pupils grow, swallowing all the grey out of his irises. His lips part on a gasp, and I can feel his breath stirring against my lips. For a second, I wonder if he’s about to kiss me and what it would be like.

Our lips are so close to touching that I can almost feel it.

An unearthly sound of pain and horror, cutting through my heart, suddenly bursts over those pretty lips that a second ago seemed to be moving closer to mine.

Just like that, I land on my butt with a loud hiccup.

I sprawl on the hard planks, my bum aching from the impact while I watch in confusion as Tanner runs away, ducking between the dancers who haven’t noticed yet.

“Tanner!” Mrs Baxter shouts. “Where are you going?!”

He doesn’t answer; he just jumps off the stage and keeps running with Jake on his heels. I awkwardly get to my feet, my heart shattering into a million pieces around me, while I try to make sense of what just happened.

This was the first time this month that Tanner and I hugged… sort of… and now I know that the boy who has gradually filled my heart, stretching it to bursting to make room for himself, clearly doesn’t like me back.

I hunch over the pain of my breaking heart, feeling breathless and nauseous, hoping that my colourful clothes and hair make me blend in with the Toyland décor around me.

I don’t think it’s working, because the kids closest to me are staring at me, curious about what just happened.

“Okay! Okay!” Mrs Baxter says, clapping her hands. “That’s it for today! I’ve had enough of you! I’ll see you animals tonight!”

She has more to say, but I’m not hearing her; I’m too busy trying to become invisible while my cheeks flare with embarrassment and my eyes burn with unshed tears.

Falling down wouldn’t have been so bad—it’s kinda funny—but having Tan run away like that…

“Did you try to kiss Tanner Trent?!” Noelle asks me when all the kids start to run for the doors, ready to go home for a couple of hours before our last performance for the year.

“N-no!” I gasp, desperately looking for Saanvi and Ro, to ask them if they understood what just happened, but I don’t think they saw any of it; they’re over at Ro’s best friend, Ahmi’s chair, talking with him.

“She did what?” Stephanie demands, joining us near the back of the stage.

“Molly tried to kiss Tanner,” Noelle huffs, and I know she’s still mad that Tan refused to allow me to swap with her. Stephanie is even more angry that she got stuck with Ahmi and his chair—he was my second partner, but he hurt his leg and has to sit the whole time. When Steph was finally healthy and could take part again, it was too late for her to start learning the dances.

Besides, Tanner refused to take her back… he can be very stubborn.

Both girls have been increasingly nasty towards me these last couple of weeks, and I don’t need more of their garbage right now.

I am so close to bursting into tears, and my heart is like a trapped bird with broken wings smashing itself against my rib cage. A loud droning is sounding in my head, distorting their voices.

“So gross, Molly!” Steph laughs. “Guess he didn’t like that at all.”

Did Tan also think I was gonna kiss him?

Did it gross him out?!

Unable to keep the flood of tears back any longer, I turn with a sob and run for the backstage door.