Chapter 1
Two Years Ahead
Janvi never remembered the first time she met GJ.
There was no special moment. No dramatic introduction. No day she could look back on and say, That was when everything started.
He was simply there.
Their families had known each other for years, so seeing him was normal. Birthdays, weddings, temple visits, family dinners, Sunday afternoons — somehow, GJ was always part of it.
By the time Janvi was in Year 7, she knew his house almost as well as her own.
She knew where his mother kept the biscuits.
She knew which cupboard had the steel tumblers.
She knew the television remote only worked properly if you pressed the button twice.
And she knew one more thing.
If she left a packet of chips anywhere near GJ, she would never get it back.
“GJ!”
Janvi stared at the packet in his hand.
Only a few chips were left.
He looked at her as if he had done nothing wrong.
“What?”
“That was mine.”
“You were eating too slowly.”
“That doesn't mean you can finish it.”
“I didn't finish it.”
He held the packet out to her.
There were exactly three chips left.
Janvi looked inside, then looked back at him.
“You are unbelievable.”
GJ laughed.
“Take it. I'm giving you three.”
“Giving me? It's my packet!”
He laughed even harder.
Janvi grabbed the packet from him and moved to the other side of the sofa.
She was annoyed, but not really.
This was how they were.
He irritated her.
She complained.
Five minutes later, they would be talking again as if nothing had happened.
But GJ wasn't just another boy Janvi knew.
He was two years older than her.
And those two years felt much bigger when they were young.
When Janvi was still worrying about homework, school bags and whether her mother would let her stay at a friend's house, GJ already seemed to belong to a different world.
He had more friends.
He played sports.
He danced at school programmes without looking nervous.
People noticed him wherever he went.
Janvi noticed too.
She just didn't tell anyone.
At that age, she wouldn't even have known what to call the feeling.
She only knew that sometimes, when everyone was sitting together and laughing, her eyes would automatically look for him.
And when he walked into the room, she somehow knew.
Even before she turned around.
That evening, both families were together at GJ's house.
The adults were talking loudly in the dining room.
Someone had made tea.
Someone else was arguing about politics.
The television was playing in the background, but nobody was really watching it.
Janvi sat on the floor with her friend Vija, pretending to listen to what she was saying.
GJ and his friends were outside.
They were laughing so loudly that Janvi could hear them through the open window.
Vija nudged her.
“You're not listening.”
“I am.”
“What did I just say?”
Janvi blinked.
Vija smiled.
“Exactly.”
“I was listening.”
“You were looking outside.”
“I wasn't.”
“You were.”
Janvi immediately looked down.
Vija's smile grew.
“Why are you smiling like that?” Janvi asked.
“Nothing.”
“Then stop.”
Vija laughed.
Janvi reached for a cushion and threw it at her.
A few minutes later, GJ came inside with Abdul, Riyas and Sandeep.
His hair was messy from playing outside and there was sweat on his forehead.
“Water,” he said, walking towards the kitchen.
“Get it yourself,” his mother shouted from the dining room.
“I was going to!”
“No, you were waiting for somebody to bring it.”
Everyone laughed.
GJ opened the fridge.
Janvi looked away before he noticed her looking.
At least she thought she had.
“Why are you sitting so quietly?” he asked.
Janvi turned.
“Who?”
“You.”
“I always sit quietly.”
GJ looked at Vija.
“Is that true?”
Vija immediately shook her head.
“No.”
“Traitor,” Janvi whispered.
GJ grinned.
“There. That's the Janvi I know.”
He walked away.
It was such a small thing.
A completely ordinary conversation.
But Janvi thought about it again when she went home.
And once more before she fell asleep.
She hated herself for it.
Not because GJ had done anything special.
That was the problem.
He hadn't.
He had simply spoken to her.
Yet somehow her mind had saved every word.
Over the next few years, things slowly changed.
Not between their families.
Those stayed the same.
They still met during functions.
Their mothers still spoke on the phone.
Their fathers still sat together discussing the same stories they had already told a hundred times.
But Janvi changed.
School became harder.
Her body changed.
Her confidence disappeared and returned depending on the day.
There were days when she looked at herself in the mirror and felt fine.
There were other days when she noticed everything she didn't like.
Her dark-brown skin.
Her weight.
Her hair when it refused to behave.
The way certain clothes looked on other girls but never looked the same on her.
She became good at pretending those things didn't bother her.
Mostly by making jokes before anyone else could.
But around GJ, she noticed herself more.
And that annoyed her.
Because GJ never actually made her feel bad.
He teased her, yes.
He teased everyone.
But he never looked at her the way she sometimes feared other people did.
To him, she was still Janvi.
The girl who argued with him over snacks.
The girl who shouted when he changed the television channel.
The girl who knew his mother would always take her side during an argument.
Maybe that was why her feelings became harder to ignore.
One evening, after a family wedding, everyone went to the beach.
The adults stayed back near the sand while the younger ones walked closer to the water.
Janvi stood on a large rock near the shore.
“Careful,” Vija warned.
“I know.”
“You always say that before something happens.”
“Nothing is going to happen.”
Janvi moved one foot forward.
The rock was wet.
Her sandal slipped.
For one second, her entire body tilted.
Before she could even scream, someone grabbed her arm.
GJ.
“Are you mad?”
Janvi stared at him.
He was still holding her wrist.
“I didn't know it was slippery.”
“It's a rock next to the sea. What did you think it would be?”
Janvi pulled her hand away.
“You don't have to shout.”
“I wasn't shouting.”
“You were.”
“You nearly fell.”
“But I didn't.”
“Because I caught you.”
Janvi had no answer for that.
GJ stepped off the rock first.
Then he looked back at her.
“Come.”
“I can manage.”
“I know you can manage. Come anyway.”
He held his hand out.
Janvi looked at it.
Just for a second.
Then she placed her hand in his.
GJ helped her down.
The moment lasted less than ten seconds.
Maybe less than five.
He forgot about it almost immediately.
Janvi didn't.
That night, lying in bed, she could still remember the feeling of his hand around hers.
She turned over and pulled the blanket over her face.
“This is stupid,” she whispered to herself.
She had known him almost her whole life.
He had probably helped her a hundred times before.
So why did this feel different?
Janvi didn't have an answer.
And perhaps she didn't want one.
Because admitting the truth would make everything complicated.
GJ wasn't some stranger she had a crush on at school.
Their families were connected.
Their lives crossed constantly.
And most importantly, she had no idea how he saw her.
Maybe he only saw the little girl who had been following the older kids around since childhood.
Maybe he would laugh if someone told him.
The thought alone was enough to make her stomach twist.
So Janvi made herself a promise.
She would never tell him.
Not now.
Not later.
Nobody needed to know.
Her feelings could stay exactly where they were.
Hidden.
Safe.
Only hers.
Janvi didn't know then how many years she would spend trying to keep that promise.
And she definitely didn't know that one day, GJ would become the one person she would spend years trying to forget.
