1 | The One I Left Behind - Alexander
In the mirror in front of me, I inspect the work my own twin has inflicted upon me.
Never before have I experienced Damien going this far with me.
His damn jealousy drove him to it.
He wants to prevent his property from craving me. Because that is what it looks like.
Eloise is consumed by her desire for me.
But that ends now.
I will not touch that girl under any circumstances ever again.
The marks across my chest, inflicted by my brother, are still burning. I clean them as best as I can before taking a healing ointment from the cabinet above the sink. I generously spread it over the injuries. I barely even flinch.
I have experienced worse.
Much worse.
But Damien has never laid a hand on me before.
Back in my bedroom, a thought shoots through my mind.
I need to get out of the penthouse.
I cannot face my brother right now.
For the first time in my twenty-five years of life, I do not want to see my twin brother for a while. That has never happened between us before.
Damien and I were never estranged for long. Whatever happened between us—we always found our way back to each other.
But today, he went too far.
Far too far.
I open my wardrobe and reach for a fresh shirt. The old one lands carelessly in the laundry basket.
I slip into the new one, slowly button it up, and leave my bedroom.
I need some distance.
And I already know where I am going.
There is only one place where I can settle down.
I take the elevator from the penthouse, which towers high above the building, down into the underground garage, where several luxurious cars are lined up.
I know exactly which car I am going to take.
With a press of the key, I unlock the doors of the burgundy Bentley Mulliner.
I get into the light-colored seat and press down on the brake. At the same time, I press the button to start the engine, which immediately roars to life.
As I maneuver the car onto the streets of Midtown, I feel the wounds on my chest begin to ache for a moment.
I pull myself together and keep driving through the streets.
There are only two places I could go to get some distance from Damien.
My family’s penthouse in one of the skyscrapers on Billionaire’s Row should be my first stop.
Yet I am drawn somewhere else.
It may not be the best place, but at least I can distract myself there.
Even if it is with him.
That does not matter to me, though.
Outside of my own realm, it is the best place in Manhattan for a man to completely surrender himself.
Then I do not have to keep dealing with the drama surrounding Damien and Eloise.
Admittedly, it was fun putting the rebellious little beast in her place, but she did not give me what I truly need.
She never could.
Eloise has an appealing body, but that was not enough for me.
Touching the girl did not give me what I long for. What I crave in a certain way.
In the past, there was one person with whom I experienced such emotions. With him, the slightest touches were enough to make my skin tingle.
But that person was considerably older than me.
At the time, I was only eighteen years old. That could never have worked, and secondly, I do not believe my mentor would have allowed it.
With time, everything turned out differently than I had expected anyway.
A decision that was made and one that my father had agreed to, which profoundly influenced my life.
At the time, I did not yet know how to deal with it.
My life was suddenly forced in a direction that would bring me no happiness. An invisible shackle was placed around me.
However, there was someone at college who brought that feeling back to me.
The way his light-brown eyes looked at me burned itself into my mind.
Even I was unable to tear my gaze away from his eyes.
They seemed different from those of all the women who surrounded me.
He was distant. He never imposed himself on me. He merely watched me.
That caused him to disappear from my head no longer. No matter how hard I tried. The image of him became anchored deeper and deeper in my thoughts.
Until I finally found the courage to approach him during a quiet moment.
I learned his name.
Lucien Beaumont.
He comes from a French family that has lived in New York since his childhood.
He did not dare approach me because he knew that I came from one of the most influential families in the entire world.
Over time, we became friends.
The closer our connection became, the less I could believe that he had not dared to approach me.
He is not exactly without connections either. He belongs to Manhattan’s Upper Class; otherwise, he probably would not have gotten into Columbia University so easily. He possessed enough confidence.
As time passed, I felt a growing desire rising inside me.
Lucien was the only person with whom I could feel carefree.
My desire for him grew stronger and stronger.
That was why I had to draw a line.
I could no longer allow him to get closer to me.
The duty imposed upon me left me no other choice.
With feigned emotional detachment, I told him that we could no longer see each other.
In his eyes, I saw the same pain flare up that had overtaken me as well.
But I pulled myself together and did not show him what was going on inside me.
My brother alone stood by my side, even though he did not know what was wrong with me. I could not even explain to my own twin that I was experiencing feelings I was not allowed to have. Even though we shared everything with each other.
We were always there for one another. We gave each other the support we needed. Whenever we were on the verge of falling apart, we built each other back up again.
But even he could not have protected me from those forbidden feelings.
And now, after my brother’s betrayal, the path leads me to the very place I should under no circumstances enter.
I should avoid him.
But right now, I cannot help but give in to my inner desire.
The best distraction can only be found there.
Only there can I suppress the pain I feel because of Damien.
And I can exhaust myself completely. Enjoy an evening without a care in the world.
Damien. Eloise. Palermo.
Simply forget everything for one evening.
Finally, I park the Mulliner in the parking lot, get out of the car, and stride quickly toward the entrance.
The provocative neon lights bathe me in a glowing red.
L’Emprise.
The most famous strip club to be found in New York City.
Even as I step through the wide-open entrance doors, the atmosphere spreads around me. The red lights seem to reach all the way into the elegantly designed foyer.
As soon as I enter the actual area, I am greeted by a scantily dressed woman.
She asks me what I am hoping for tonight.
I answer her and tell her that I want an unforgettable evening with as much distraction as possible.
The woman nods and leads me to a table positioned as close to the stage as possible, while still offering enough distance.
The next moment, another woman brings me a drink.
Before the two of them disappear, they give me a small black device that unmistakably contains a button that can be used either to call for a server or for the dancers I desire.
How much I would like to enjoy a dance right now. Yet I hesitate over whether I should call for a man or a woman. I am in public. I cannot afford a mistake.
For now, I place the button on the table and take the drink in my hand.
Whiskey.
As I raise the glass to my lips, I take a look around the club.
My gaze wanders through the rows. I try to make out familiar faces. This is how I weigh how far I can indulge in my personal desires. Whether there is anyone among them who is known in my circles.
There is no familiar person in sight. The High Society obviously avoids this place.
So I take the button in my hand after all. I decide to have a woman come to me and press the corresponding button.
Even though something inside me is screaming for a man, I cannot risk being seen while a man is moving his hips on the table in front of me.
As I put the button back down and lift my head, my breath catches.
He is staring at me.
Lucien.
Just as I know it from him.
The same unyielding gaze he has given me so many times before.
Immediately, every memory involving him floods into my mind. Every memory, no matter how distant, races through my head. Every single touch that promised so much more than either of us wanted to admit.
For a moment, I close my eyes and consider what exactly I should do now.
Stay sitting here or go over to him.
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