Another Me, Another Him

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Mina’s relationship with Dr. Colin Reed didn’t last long.

Six months in total, with all the breakups included.

From April to October.

Six months isn’t long, and it shouldn’t have affected her this much, but she felt scarred for life.

Despite all her desires to stay with him and the hope that things would get better over time, she began to realize that in their case, love simply wasn’t enough.

Living in fear and constant anxiety over his every mood shift, move, or decision was not an option.

She felt like she was living in a nightmare with no end in sight, and decided to cut all ties with him, to move on and try to regain control over her life.

But it wasn’t easy.

This book opens at the moment he walked out on her for the last time, following their last conversation and their final breakup.

I don’t even know how long I stood on the road in front of my house in that freezing cold and blizzard.

I don’t know if I was waiting for him to come back or if I was just lost in time and space, but I had a really hard time forcing myself to move and go inside.

I sat on the stairs that led to Jenna’s old room and looked around.

I didn’t even have the strength to cry anymore, and I was well aware that the full weight of our breakup would only hit me once the initial shock wore off.

What now? I asked myself, a simple question that brought a flood of follow-up questions with it.

So much had changed in my life recently that even if I were in a much better headspace, it would have been hard to adapt.

Just the fact that I didn’t have to study anymore because I’d finished college felt strange, leaving me with an odd sense of aimlessness.

Then there was the search for a job in my field, but where?

I wanted to leave the city, but I couldn’t leave my sister, who had just given birth and needed me now more than ever.

And as for where to find another him—I couldn’t even begin to answer that.

I sank deep into my thoughts. I think I even nodded off right there on the stairs when the sudden ringing of my phone startled me like an electric shock.

I snapped out of it instantly. Rummaging through my bag for the phone, I quickly answered Susan’s call. It was as if she could sense I wasn’t okay—her timing was impeccable.

I told her Colin and I had just split up, and without hesitation, she decided to pack a few essentials and come stay with me for a couple of days, at least until I got back on my feet.

I knew not a single soul would believe me if I told them we had broken up for good, but by some miracle, Susan did.

She made me tea and cooked dinner, but I couldn’t swallow a single bite. I felt bad that I couldn’t eat or sit with her for a bit, but I just didn’t have the energy to talk, let alone anything else.

I took a hot shower to thaw my frozen skin, took a sleeping pill, and went to bed after promising Sue we’d talk in the morning—secretly hoping a new morning wouldn’t come for me.

But that damn morning came anyway, bringing with it the exact same pain and sorrow that sleep had briefly numbed.

Mina, are you stopping here, or are you turning the page and moving on? There is no third option, I thought to myself, gathering the strength to get out of bed.

I was starving, but I had no appetite. Just the thought of food made me nauseous. Knowing I had to eat, I got dressed quickly and went to the nearby bakery to grab breakfast for myself and Sue, who was still asleep.

When I got back, I brewed some coffee, just as she walked into the kitchen.

She smiled warmly at me from the doorway, and I was so glad she was there.

“How did you manage to find croissants this fresh?” she asked excitedly, munching on her breakfast while still half-asleep.

“Waking up at five in the morning tends to have its perks,” I joked, and we both chuckled.

“You went to bed early last night. I hope you slept well and feel at least a little better.” She checked me over with a hint of concern, and I shrugged.

“Honestly, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I do feel better,” I said quietly, watching her react in surprise. “It’s not like I lost him yesterday—yesterday just made it official. In a way, I was already used to loving him without having him."

She observed me in silence, then shook her head and swallowed her bite.

“Mina, after you went to sleep last night, I thought a lot about this, and I think I know what you need.”

“I know too. A distraction.” I gave her a wide smile, but she shook her head.

“A distraction goes without saying, but there are a few bigger things you should change.”

“I was planning on changing cities, my job, my name, my gender...” I laughed, somehow in a good mood and genuinely happy because she was there. “But fine, I want to hear your suggestions. And honestly, this time I don’t care what it takes to pull myself out of this slump.”

“Look, even the happiest person gets sick of being alone. All this silence is depressing, and that’s the last thing you need right now. You need someone here with you. To live together.” She sized me up, “Remember how it was with Jenna?”

I nodded and exhaled softly.

“When I remember my life with Jenna, I get emotional. She was always there to listen, comfort me, and give advice. No matter what happened, I knew she was waiting for me, and if I fell, she’d pull me back onto my feet,” I said, smiling faintly and clearing my throat. “Life with her was so much easier, but everything comes to an end. She lives with Mike, has a baby, and I am really happy that she has her own family now,” I answered, knowing Sue was right.

“Have you maybe thought about going back home to stay with your parents for a while?” she asked quietly, and I shook my head.

“I have, but I can’t right now. Jenna needs me, and at home I’d be alone most of the time anyway because both mom and dad work non-stop.” I took a sip of my coffee and looked at her. “I’d love for someone to live here with me, but I wouldn’t want it to be a stranger. I wish it were you, but I can’t ask you to leave your apartment.”

I put my proposal out there, and the look on Susan’s face suggested she might actually accept.

“I don’t know, Mina... I’d like to. I hate being alone too, especially after spending a whole year at home with my parents.”

“You know you can use Jenna’s old room,” I smiled, and she frowned for a moment.

“Well, I...” she shook her head. “But you know what? Why not? Technically, I don’t have to officially move in here. I could bring a few things over and stay with you for a while until you get back on your feet.”

I smiled broadly, and my eyes welled up with tears.

I needed her so badly, and it seemed like she could tell.

“Alright, see? First suggestion accepted. So, is that all for the big changes?” I asked, unable to hide my excitement as she pulled her coffee cup closer and shook her head.

“You also need a no-strings-attached relationship,” she said, looking at me intently before taking a sip of her coffee.

“You mean a friends-with-benefits situation?” I asked, letting out a short laugh.

“Exactly. No feelings, no commitment—just good sex. It would be the ultimate distraction for you.”

“You know I’ve never done anything like that, and honestly, the whole concept just turns me off.”

“It only seems that way until you try it. If you found someone you were actually attracted to, you’d forget about the doctor in no time.” Sue sounded like she truly believed what she was saying, but I knew I’d never get over Colin—not in three lifetimes.

“Hardly, Sue. It’s hard enough moving on from him, let alone finding someone new. Just thinking about another man makes me feel uncomfortable.”

“What about Cameron?” she shot back without missing a beat, leaving me stunned. I frowned and shook my head.

“No, I definitely can’t do Cam.”

“Why not? He seems like the right guy for you. And if you slept with him before, you can do it again.”

“Well, yeah, but with him, it couldn’t be just sex. Back then, he confessed he had feelings for me, and I’m not indifferent toward him either. It’s nothing romantic, but I love him as a person. I couldn’t just use him like that.”

“Maybe it would turn romantic over time? The timing wasn’t right back then, and who knows what would have happened if he’d come along at a better time...”

“It definitely wasn’t right. He came along at such a bad moment that even right now would be better,” I smiled. “Now, this thing with Colin is officially over, but back when I met Cam, I was praying with all my heart that we weren’t really over and that we’d get back together.”

“All the more reason to give him a chance now. Where is he these days?”

“He’s here. He called me for my birthday and last week to check if I was still alive,” I smiled.

“And what about that whole moving situation he was talking about?”

“I don’t think anything’s coming of that. He told me himself he’s having second thoughts.”

“And how are the two of you doing now?”

I smiled and shrugged.

“You know how it is. I wanted to cut all contact after that night, but he didn’t let me, and I don’t regret it. Honestly, if he didn’t feel the way he does about me, he’d be the perfect friend. He’s always there for me—to listen, comfort me, and give advice.”

“Deep down, I feel like you two would be great together. You have a special spark when you talk about him. Don’t deny that you like him—there’s no way you would have slept with him if you didn’t.”

“Oh my god, Sue, whatever I did that night shouldn’t be taken seriously. That night was so crazy that I’m surprised I didn’t mess up even worse.”

“Yeah, the night of Cam’s exhibition. I was at my parents’ then, but I remember. You said Sarah brought Colin and that girlfriend of his, Gia. That you talked outside and that he was practically flirting with you.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, and she frowned.

“You told me that much, but what actually happened with Cam? I mean, how did you two end up in bed?”

“I had a few drinks too many in the club while working—well, Cameron picked me up after work, then I had two more beers in the park with him, and to top it all off, Cam dropped the bomb that he’s in love with me and moving by the end of the year.” I sighed. “I completely snapped, went home, he followed me...” I stopped for a second, laughed, and pointed toward the living room. “And everything escalated in there. The rest is history.”

Sue chuckled and narrowed her eyes at me.

“Okay, that night, sure. But what about the next day?” She looked at me shrewdly, asking a question I didn’t even know the answer to myself. “You went back to his place and slept with him again. Why?”

“I have no fucking clue, sis,” I shrugged. “The next day I woke up completely messed up and somehow didn’t want to leave it at that, so I went over to his studio. I don’t even know why myself, but I think I wanted more.” We both burst out laughing.

If someone had told me the night before that I’d be laughing with Sue over breakfast, I wouldn’t have believed them.