PROLOGUE
Can you live your entire life without thinking about what other people are thinking?
I've wondered about that question for a long time.
Most people move through life believing that their decisions belong entirely to them. They choose where to go, who to trust, what to say, and what to fear.
But is that really true?
Every person has something that influences them.
Some are moved by recognition.
Some by pride.
Some by loneliness.
Some by greed.
Some by the fear of losing something they already have.
Fear is especially interesting.
People often treat fear as something that should be eliminated.
I don't think that's necessary.
Fear isn't weakness.
Fear is information.
So let me ask you three questions.
The first question is simple.
What are you afraid of?
Not what scares you for a moment. I'm talking about the thing you would do almost anything to avoid losing.
Your reputation?
Someone you love?
Your position?
Your future?
Once you understand what someone fears, you can begin to understand the decisions they are likely to make.
A person who fears losing their reputation might lie to protect it.
A person who fears being abandoned might cling to someone they don't trust.
A person who fears failure might avoid taking a risk even when the reward is enormous.
People are different.
Their fears are different.
But everyone has something.
The second question is this:
What would you do if someone gave you exactly what you wanted?
Most people think the answer is obvious.
They would simply take it.
But that's where people become predictable.
If you understand what someone wants, you can understand what choices they're willing to make to obtain it.
And if you understand both what someone wants and what they're afraid of losing, their decisions become much easier to anticipate.
That's where adaptation becomes important.
People don't remain still.
They react.
They change their plans when something threatens them.
They become defensive when they're cornered.
They become aggressive when they're afraid.
They become desperate when they think they're about to lose something.
So you can't simply understand a person's fear.
You have to understand what their fear causes them to do.
That's where strategy begins.
You don't need to force someone to make a decision.
Sometimes, you only need to understand the choices already available to them.
Give them the right circumstances, and they may choose exactly what you expected.
Which brings me to the third question.
How much of your life is actually controlled by your own decisions?
Think about it carefully.
You choose your friends.
But why those friends?
You choose what you say.
But why those words?
You decide who to trust.
But what made you trust them?
Maybe every decision really is yours.
Or maybe the circumstances around you influenced the decision before you even realized it.
I don't know which answer is correct.
But I know one thing.
People are far more complicated than they appear.
And if you want to understand them, you have to look beyond what they say.
Look at what they fear.
Look at what they want.
Look at what they protect.
Look at what they do when their expectations collapse.
Most importantly, watch what they do when they believe nobody is watching.
That's where people become honest.
At least, that's what I believed.
I was invited to a normal school.
Nothing special.
At least, that's what I believed.
