SAY YOU MISS ME

RACHEL

“Rachel!”

One troublesome girl named Cassie yelled my name from downstairs.

“Can we have the last champagne from the freezer?” Her impatient voice thundered all the way to the bedroom but I didn’t respond. She’d eventually stop if I didn’t.

Whereas, I couldn’t help but smile as I checked myself out in the mirror. I had told Tiara I’d prefer my usual shorts and top, but here I was, finally giving in to a pink corset dress that somehow hugged my obviously grown curves in all the right places. My hair was curled into a wavy Italian style, and I better not even talk about how she managed to talk me into changing my hair color. I loved my dark hair, but staring at the blond ends now, maybe a little makeover for bon fire wouldn’t hurt.

I was just finishing up when Tiara appeared at my doorway.

“Ugh!” she huffed, leaning against the doorframe. “I swear I was going to drag you out myself if you weren’t done. Everyone is set except you. I really don’t wanna miss the bonfire because...” She paused, making that knowing face.

“Wait. Someone is trying a little hard here.” She sniffed the air dramatically. “Smells like ‘I’m trying to impress someone tonight’. Who is it? Han Jae Hyun?”

My head snapped toward her, my face twisting into a fake glare. “Just fuck off, T.”

I rolled my eyes, grabbing my lipstick from the dressing table.

“Go tell the guys the fun’s over. And for God’s sake, I can’t have Cassie drinking any more champagne unless you want her drunk and ruining the night for all of us.”

Tiara laughed. “Well, it’s not my fault you made her tag along. I told you to let her be.”

I laughed too, turning back toward the mirror. Deep down, I knew exactly why I’d brought Cassie along. It was a ploy.

“You know she likes Jay, right?” Tiara continued. “And I know you too well. You brought Cassie along to distract Jay tonight. I just don’t get why.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “You like that guy, I mean, look at you, wearing all that make up. It’s all over you, so... what exactly are you afraid of?”

I sighed and pressed my lipstick a little too hard against the wood of the dressing table. “For the hundredth time, I don’t like Jay.” I folded my arms tightly across my chest. “You of all people should know I’m off the radar when it comes to guys right now.”

“Why?” she shot back immediately. “Because of Thane?”

Not his name again.

I’d successfully stopped caring about anything that had to do with Thane Adams. For two whole months, I’d been fine without hearing his name or dealing with any of his drama. Sure, hearing it now rattled me a little, but that was only because whatever this thing was that I hadn’t figured out about myself when it came to Jay had nothing to do with my ex. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.

“We broke up. Remember?” I turned to face her fully. “It’s been three months. What kind of girl would I be if I were still hung up on that?”

For a second, she said nothing. Then she dropped her arms and straightened from the doorframe.

“You’d be just like every normal girl. You’re right. You guys broke up.”

“A break.” I cut in almost immediately, like I needed to remind myself as much as I needed to remind T. “It was a break.”

T stared at me for a moment before shaking her head.

“God, Rach. You’re really something.”

She didn’t get to finish because a voice suddenly interrupted us.

“And here the beautiful chics are hiding away from all the fun downstairs.” Cassie mocked as she walked up the stairs toward us.

I returned to fixing my eyeliner as she came closer.

“Damn...” She ran her tongue over her lips. “Chic’s so fine.”

Cassie is a hundred percent girl-gene prototype, so I could never quite get used to her tomboyish ways. Sometimes it still felt strange considering she somehow managed to like someone as completely opposite in character to her as Jay.

“Thanks, Cass.” I gave her a small smile.

“Cassie, tell the guys to pack up. We’re leaving now.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sometimes I hate that you’re a year older than me, bitch.”

I laughed at the two of them. By now, I’d grown used to them being this way.

Tiara smiled sheepishly. “I wouldn’t blame Aunt Rosa for wanting a baby near menopause. Now get your ass to work, fat ass!”

“Fuck you, T!” Cassie yelled as she headed back down the stairs.

I laughed again.

“Fuck you too, fat ass!”

I gave myself one last look in the mirror. Done.

“Cheers to our last day as seniors.” Tiara grinned.

I smiled. She walked over and wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her back and we stayed that way for a second. But then that feeling came again. Strangely familiar. Like something was missing. Like there was an empty space somewhere inside me that I couldn’t quite explain. I frowned slightly. I didn’t know what it was. And honestly, I didn’t want to know.

Finally, she pulled away and faced me with a small smile. “I’ll go join the others downstairs. Finish up fast and come down.”

She rubbed her hand down my arm before pulling away completely. The moment she left, I let out one long breath I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding.

Everything still felt surreal. A lot had changed too. I stared at myself in the mirror one last time, realizing just how much time had changed me. Healed me, perhaps. Erased some things. That was if I was even being honest with myself.

I walked out, shut the door behind me, and headed down the hallway.

Then I passed Thane’s room. I stopped in front of it out of habit, but something felt different this time. For some reason, I actually felt the strange urge to go inside.

Yeah. Stupid. But not nearly as stupid as the fact that I actually did.

The moment I stepped in, the dull trace of his scent hit my nose. His room felt untouched. Like it had been sitting there for months, waiting for someone to come back and breathe life into it.

After he left, he never called. Not once. I tried calling him one time, but he barely said two words to me before ending the conversation. It felt like whatever connection we had left had suddenly disappeared into thin air.

Simon seemed busier than ever too, and I knew my mum and him had something going on. They tried very hard to hide it, but I saw everything. Perhaps they kept forgetting I was an adult now. Not some clueless little girl they could fool.

“Fuck,” I mumbled, stopping just before I reached Thane’s bedside. “What are you doing, Rachel?”

I shook my head and turned to leave. Then something caught my eye. I turned quickly and walked toward his desk.

There was a small box sitting beside a pile of old things. Curiosity got the better of me or maybe I was secretly hoping that whatever was inside was meant for me.

I picked it up, opened it, and found a necklace inside. Great. My eyes narrowed when I noticed the name engraved on the lock.

Ciara.

His sister? I set the box down and bent over to look at the small book sticking out from underneath a stack of magazines.

When I pulled it out, I realized it was a diary. There was no name on it, just a few flowery designs across the cover.

I hesitated. I shouldn’t open it. Whatever was inside, going through Thane’s things was still wrong. But after everything I’d learned about Ciara, maybe finding this wasn’t a coincidence. Maybe it was a chance to finally understand what had happened to her. I’d avoided the whole thing before. Maybe this time, I couldn’t.

I flipped open the first page. It was just a random entry about her first day at a park. Nothing suspicious or important.

She sounded sweet, though. No wonder Thane had cared about her so much.

I kept reading. Page after page. Entry after entry. And slowly, I noticed something. Ciara cared about Thane just as much as he cared about her. Almost everything she wrote about somehow involved him. His name kept appearing over and over again.

Except—

“What...?” I whispered, staring at the words on the page.

My heart began to pound.

*He tried to hurt me again. Would Dad be mad if I tried to break up with him?*

I froze. My eyes moved over the words again, hoping I’d somehow read them wrong. But they were still there.

Everything suddenly started clicking into place. Why Thane had always believed Jay had something to do with Ciara’s death.

Why he’d looked at Jay the way he did. Why he’d never been able to let the whole thing go.

My stomach twisted. Jae Hyun had been hurting his sister?

No. That couldn’t be right. Could it?