Overwhelming
June walked down Main Street through the middle of downtown. She didn’t have anywhere specific to go; she just needed to get out of the house. She needed to quiet the thoughts that’d been racing through her head since yesterday.
She sighed heavily as she waited at a crosswalk for the signal to turn green. This one always seemed delayed compared to the others. Normally, it didn’t bother her, but standing still made her thoughts begin to race again.
Her fingers tapped anxiously against her leg as she stared at the light.
The city around her was loud. Vehicles seemed never-ending, their engines and horns blending into a constant roar. The cloying smell of exhaust mixed with the undercurrent of the city’s sewage system, making her nauseous.
Finally, the crossing light turned green. The clicking of the timer somehow cut through all the noise around her.
June hurried across the street. She’d been walking aimlessly, but slowly realized she was heading toward her comfort coffee shop. Despite herself, she smiled.
Ralph would’ve—
No.
She cut the thought off quickly, shoving it as far down as she could. She couldn’t think about him while she was in public. Not without breaking down.
As she continued walking, Halstead’s Bakery and Coffee came into view. June slowed.
A man sat against the small abandoned building beside the coffee shop. He looked haggard, and as June stared at him, realization hit her.
The sidewalks around them were busy: businesspeople, elderly couples, children, people walking their dogs. Yet June noticed that nobody even glanced at the man sitting on the ground.
She could see why. On the surface, he looked homeless. He sat in a half-slump with a bag beside him, his head bowed.
But June saw what most people didn’t.
The man was clean-shaven. His long hair was tidy and clean, even as it fell slightly over his face. His clothes were clean, too—and not cheap.
There was something else about him. Even sitting the way he was, his presence had a military feel.
June would know.
Both of her parents, her brother, almost all fifteen of her cousins, her aunts and uncles—damn near everyone in her family was military. The only reason June wasn’t was because she hadn’t gone to the recruiter yet.
And after yesterday…
She doubted she ever could.
Then June noticed something else about the man on the ground.
Something that made her heart clench as she watched him.
He reminded her so much of Ralph.
Guilt flooded through her. A tear slipped down her cheek before she could shove her feelings back down.
June struggled for a moment before she could get herself back under control. She took a deep, shaky breath, then walked toward the man sitting on the ground.
As she approached, he didn’t move. He didn’t look up or acknowledge her presence.
That was okay. She didn’t expect him to, and she didn’t need him to.
As she drew closer, June caught sight of a familiar tattoo. It was the same one her brother had.
She’d been right.
This man was military. A Marine, if she was going by the tattoo.
June stopped in front of him, keeping her distance but standing close enough that he’d know she was approaching him.
He still didn’t move. Didn’t acknowledge her.
June took one small step closer, stopping about two feet away. Far enough not to make him feel cornered, but close enough that she was out of everyone else’s way and wouldn’t have to speak too loudly for him to hear her.
“Hi,” June said, keeping her voice light. “I’m June. Is it okay if I sit over there?”
She pointed to a spot about three feet to his left.
To her surprise, the man glanced up at her.
His piercing blue eyes made her breath catch—especially because of how broken they looked.
He stiffened slightly and quickly looked back down, but gave a short, sharp nod.
June didn’t say another word. She sat where she’d pointed, leaning her back against the cold concrete wall.
A few people glanced at them now that she’d sat down.
Hmph. Now they notice?
She turned to look at the man beside her. Other than that fleeting moment when he’d looked up at her, he hadn’t moved a muscle.
Overwhelming sadness filled her chest. His eyes had looked exactly how she felt.
She wasn’t sure whether what she had in mind would help him, but it was something she knew would help her if someone else did it for her.
So she took a gamble.
“You don’t have to talk to me. You don’t even have to acknowledge I’m here.” She paused, glancing at him. “But, if you don’t mind, I just want to talk.”
He stiffened a little more, but he didn’t tell her to go away.
June took that as acceptance.
So she began to talk.
She told him about her job, her friends, and her love of books. She talked for a good hour about damn near every random thing she could think of.
And while she wasn’t sure whether he cared—or whether he was actually listening—he seemed to relax a little as she spoke.
Her chest warmed when she noticed.
After a little over an hour, June was starting to feel hungry and tired. She’d succeeded in completely distracting herself, and her stomach was now reminding her that she hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday.
“All right, I’m done talking your ear off,” June said as she stood. “Thank you for listening to my useless rambling, but I’m starving, and I need to get home before my mother starts blowing up my phone because she’s worried.”
The sidewalk in front of them was much less crowded now. The sun dipped behind the tall high-rises, throwing the street into shadow. It was late evening.
June brushed her hands against her pants, wiping the dirt from her palms. She glanced over at the man who’d continued sitting beside her while she rambled for a little over an hour.
He wasn’t slouched as deeply now.
Maybe it was safe to leave him.
She was about to walk away when a surprisingly deep, gravelly voice spoke beside her.
He didn’t speak loudly. He didn’t have to. His voice carried in a way June had only heard from people who’d been in command in the military.
He spoke one word.
“Why?”
June froze.
She turned her head to look at the man beside her. He was still sitting on the ground, but now his eyes met hers—and he didn’t look away.
His expression held too many emotions for her to sort through. The strongest one, though, was something close to anger.
It surprised her a little.
But she kind of understood.
“Because I needed to talk to someone,” June answered simply.
It wasn’t the full truth, but it wasn’t a lie either. She’d needed to talk to someone. She’d needed something to take her mind off the past eighteen hours.
And this man had been willing to listen.
He stared at her. As June held his gaze without flinching, something almost like recognition passed through his eyes for just a moment.
Then the anger returned, sharper than before.
“Why me?” he asked through clenched teeth.
June looked at him for another moment before she answered. Her eyes stayed locked on his.
“Because I needed to talk to someone who’d understand that I didn’t want to be asked what was wrong.”
He continued to stare at her for a moment after that.
Then he looked away.
“In a way, I understand that feeling,” he said so quietly she almost couldn’t hear him.
He didn’t say anything else. He didn’t move again.
June could tell that was as much as he was able to give that day.
She hoped it was enough as she turned and walked toward the coffee shop. She didn’t look back, but she could feel the man’s eyes on her until she was out of sight.
As she opened the coffee shop doors, she caught his reflection in the glass. He was slowly crossing the street, heading toward the heart of the city.
She smiled for only a moment before stepping inside. Cool air and the scent of coffee and baked goods wrapped around her, offering a comfort she needed more than she was willing to admit.
