Irish Brew

“The state of New York versus Oscar Serrano, sentencing for the guilty verdict in the murder of six-year-old Jordan Serrano,” the judge says. “Today is a stressful and heavy day for those who care about and love Jordan Serrano. I’m now ready to listen to anyone who is prepared to speak on behalf of the state,” she continues.

My heart twists and turns waiting to see if anyone speaks before me. No one stands on behalf of Jordan, so of course I do. I stand with my hand to my chest, rubbing soothing circles along my heart.

I walk up to the podium, trying not to look at the live feed. My face has been plastered all over the New York news for the last month. I look at my written document, still rubbing my chest. It’s the only thing that currently brings me comfort. This is the first time I’m speaking during this whole ordeal. This is the first time my voice is being released into this courtroom. The first time I direct Oscar… but for Jordan, I’ll make sure his dad rots in prison.

“My name’s Rosalía Serrano. I’m Jordan’s mom. Right out of college, I did something I never really thought of, but turned out to be the best at: being a mom. For six years, I lived for him. I lived for him with someone I thought was my partner. For years I lived with a narcissist; for Jordan. I dealt with the emotional abuse; for Jordan. I took the beatings so Jordan wouldn’t. For six years I dealt with it because I thought being with him,”—I point to Oscar—“would be better for Jordan. It took some self-reflection and secret therapy to realize that leaving was better for Jordan. I didn’t want anything, the divorce papers only asked for freedom and Jordan, nothing more.”

My voice shakes but I hold strong and firm. For Jordan. I look towards Oscar with confidence. “Instead of letting us go, you did the unthinkable. Something a parent should never do to their child. You hurt him. And because my son is resilient and strong, he fought back. And it angered you, as it always has… with no mercy at the idea that he is your blood. You killed.”

Tears form in my eyes but I don’t let them drip. I won’t give him the satisfaction. “Brutally. You killed him. My baby. A bright boy who had his whole future ahead of him. He dreamed of being successful, like you, his daddy. You took that from him. You took his future away when you killed him. You took his freedom when you trapped him…” I swallow my tears. “Trapped him in a freezer, waiting for me to get back, so you could destroy me...” I turn back to the judge. “I ask you, judge, to take away his freedom, forever, and that’s only because the death penalty is no longer allowed in the state of New York.”

After my impact statement, Oscar’s family all get up to say some bullshit about their son. His family, as they have since the beginning, defend his actions by saying he’s ill. It’s not prison he needs… it’s help. It’s bullshit. It’s always been bullshit. A copout because he pays for everything. I didn’t expect anything differently from them.

You know who else gets up on his behalf… My so-called parents. That, takes me by surprise…

“We’re Mr. And Mrs. Martinez, grandparents of Jordan.”

The courtroom gasps and I force myself to keep my face impassive. No emotion. I won’t give my parents the satisfaction neither.

“Oscar is a good man…” one of them says.

“This is supposed to be about Jordan. Not the defendant,” the judge says.

“It is, your honor, it’s about having leniency on—”

“On who?! The man who murdered your grandchild. That’s who you want me to show leniency to?” the judge snaps.

“Jordan was our little angel. It’s just a family is broken and we want leniency.”

“Jesus,” the judge says. “Get off my podium ma’am. You both should be ashamed of yourselves defending a man who isn’t even your blood. Instead of supporting your daughter, who lost her son.” The judge blows a frustrated breath and shakes her head. Once they sit she says, “Anyone else?”

“Me, your honor,” Oscar chimes in.

She stares at him with suspicion, then says, “Thirty seconds. Go.”

“My wife is angry with me right now…”

My heart speeds, nervously in my chest. I rub my fingers against it.

“…and rightfully so, I used our son to teach her a lesson.”

This is what he does. This, is how he digs the knife.

“To remind her, that I will always be part of her. Her parents want me to. As. Will. She.” he grins.

“I’ve heard enough. Now I’ve sat through this trial for over five weeks. I looked at all the evidence, listened to all the testimonies. Rosalía, did a wonderful job, cataloging the truth of who you actually are, Mr. Serrano. The level of narcissism you have, is pretty up there. I genuinely believe if you were allowed to be free you would continue your attack on her. Because of that I sentence you to life without parole.”

Oscar rises up with a bang. “What!” He loses it and the clerk grabs him, but Oscar is strong. Three more officers run into the courtroom and hold him down, but he stares right at me. “You can’t get rid of me, Rosalía. I won’t divorce you, ever. You are part of my soul forever. FOREVER!” he screams as they pull him away.

The door slams shut and the room silences. I rub my chest in circles, while the judge tries to calm the courtroom. Once it’s quiet she looks at me. “He won’t give you a divorce but the video today should help, as well as his conviction.”

I give a short nod and say, “Thank you, your honor.”

She nods back and says, “Court is adjourned.”

My tears drip with relief and I give the prosecutor a hug.

“We did it,” he says.

“Thank you for everything,” I say.

“I’m glad it’s done with,” he says.

“Thanks,” I say, grabbing my purse.

I walk out of the courthouse, ignoring my parents and his family, glad it’s over.

“Anything else to add?” the judge says.

“No, your honor, we rest,” Oscar’s defense attorney says.

“Does the plaintiff have anything to add?” the judge asks.

“Mrs. Serrano has one request,” my counsel says.

“Go ahead.”

I stand. “I don’t want anything from him. Only what I asked for originally. I want the house. That’s it,” I state.

“You’re entitled to half of everything,” the judge says with wide eyes.

I know this is weird for people. Oscar is a billionaire. I could take half of it and be insanely rich and I could disappear. But by not taking his money, that’s additional control he doesn’t get to have. I don’t want anything to do with him.

I shake my head. “I don’t want it. I don’t want his dirty money. I only want the house because that’s where most of my own money went into, before he made me quit working.”

“Mr. Serrano, are you alright with that?” the judge asks.

He and his attorney lean in to discuss. His attorney’s face contorts but then masks it when he looks at the judge.

“Mr. Serrano is willing to agree on one condition.” His lawyer looks at me. “You keep your last name.”

Oscar smirks. His knowing smirk, thinking he is getting a ruse out of me.

“Is that all. I can’t go back to my maiden name?” I ask, not falling for his goading.

Oscar nods with a big smile.

“Fine. I’ll keep it until I remarry,” I reply.

He scoffs. The narcissist scoffs. “You won’t remarry. I’m your first and last, baby.”

“Whatever makes you sleep at night,” I reply and look at the judge. “I’m willing to accept but the decree needs to stipulate that I change it, if I remarry.”

The judge smiles and says, “I can do that.”

“Thank you, your honor,” I reply.

After the signing of documents, it’s over.

“I’ll see you around, gorgeous,” Oscar says being taken away by the clerks.

I don’t give him a reaction but my insides are cringing. The moment the door closes I blow a breath of relief.

Now, it’s really over.

“You want it all cashed out?” the bank manager says in shock.

“Yes, everything,” I reply.

The branch manager stares bewildered but my stern face, eventually gives away to my resilience. He triple checks my identity and eventually gives in. I brought a special suitcase I purchased where he put everything I own; in cash.

Three hours later, I place my two cases into the black SUV I rented and drive to my new destination. Away from the city… a place no one knows me or hopefully of me.

I spent a lot of time researching where to go. I wanted to go somewhere I knew, no one in his family could come looking. Oscar’s family hates the Irish. So what better way to disappear than to go to an Irish town. So now I’m on Highway Ninety-Five driving to Boston. Not that I’ll stay there… that’s just another city… I need something different, something new, not like the normal.

Oscar killed my son, and in the process, he froze my heart. I rub my chest trying to calm myself. “We’re starting over, Rosalía. For you, my Jordan. I’ll continue to live; for you,” I chant to myself over and over.

I get to live… Oscar could have killed me. Instead, he chose the way that would break me the most. But I won’t let him win. I’m still here. I can still live.

Since Jordan doesn’t get the chance to live his dream…

I will live mine. For him.