The Day She Chose Herself

She was standing in the middle of a crowded room.

People were laughing.

She could hear their voices surrounding her, but she couldn't understand what they were saying. Her heart was racing. Sweat covered her forehead, and tears were running down her face.

She wanted to disappear.

She tried to move, but her body felt frozen.

Then suddenly, she woke up.

Her eyes opened, but she didn't move.

For ten or twenty seconds, she simply lay there like a statue, trying to understand where she was. Her breathing was still heavy, and the dream was slowly disappearing from her memory.

Then she heard her mother's voice.

“Wake up! Get ready for college.”

She finally sat up.

Her mother appeared at the door with a smile.

“Today is your first day of college. Are you excited?”

She tried to smile.

Her mother continued, full of excitement.

“You'll meet new people, make new friends, have new teachers, and experience a completely new environment. Aren't you curious?”

But she knew something her mother didn't.

She wasn't excited.

She was terrified.

She had always worried about what people thought of her. She constantly compared herself with others and wished she could be like them—the way they laughed, the way they made friends, the way they enjoyed their lives without worrying about every little thing.

Saying yes to everyone had become a habit.

She had spent so much time trying to make other people comfortable that she had forgotten about herself.

Even her self-respect had slowly disappeared behind her fear of being judged.

She looked at herself in the mirror.

She quickly looked away.

There was a reason she hated being noticed.

A few years earlier, her school had been attacked by terrorists. She had survived, but the experience had left a permanent mark on her life—and on her face.

Since then, she had tried everything to avoid being noticed.

She hated people staring at her.

She hated the questions.

Are you okay?

What happened to you?

Does it still hurt?

Most of all, she hated sympathy.

She didn't want people to look at her and see a victim.

She wanted them to see her.

She got dressed, packed her bag, and said goodbye to her mother.

As she walked toward college, her nervousness grew with every step.

What if nobody talks to me?

What if they notice my face?

What if they ask questions?

She took a deep breath.

Today was supposed to be a new beginning.

But she didn't know whether she was ready for it.

When she reached the college, she found her classroom and quietly took a seat near the back.

Students were talking to each other, laughing and introducing themselves.

She kept her eyes down.

A few minutes later, the teacher entered.

“Good morning, everyone.”

The class became quiet.

The teacher introduced herself and then smiled at the students.

“Now, let's get to know each other. I want everyone to introduce themselves and tell us a little about themselves.”

Her heart suddenly began beating faster.

One student stood up.

Then another.

Then another.

She tried to make herself as small as possible.

Please don't choose me.

But then—

“Your turn.”

She slowly looked up.

The teacher was looking directly at her.

“Tell us your name and something about your hobbies.”

Her mouth opened.

Nothing came out.

For the first time that morning, everyone was looking at her.

And she couldn't say a single word.