Memories of Empty Mind

He was there. Standing. Gazing at the point in a complete sense of numbness. Staring. His eyes held a heavy pressure of light. This light is somewhere else, but not in his head. He wished that light at the end of the void was here to protect his cold body from the darkness that surrounds him.

Nothing but the void. An endless hole; once you fall, it will never end. He wanted hands to catch him and warm his little, innocent heart.

Despite everything, he is still standing and looking at the skies. But what skies? Has he ever seen real clouds?

Wings had appeared on his back, and he flew out of this place. He is flying like a bird, but he is ripping the sky and moving clouds out of his way to oblivion.

I saw him. I looked through the telescope. He was trying to fly. Fly with his weak wings. Father always told me to not interact with people like him. But I couldn't stop looking at him. Every time he tried to fly, he fell down. All in blood and injuries. However, he simply got up and raised his wings again and again. I noted that he insisted on flying again.

It was spectacular, and I was wondering about him. Usually, people die once they fall. They never get up again. They prefer to bury themselves in the graves. And this person didn't want to rot in the soil.

I called for him.

He turned his head slowly. He stared at me. His eyes were about to cry, but he didn’t let the tears that wanted to come out of his eyes. He spoke then.

“I know you are looking at me, but I can't understand why.”

I didn't expect him to answer. I didn't expect him to ask me a question. I didn’t know he was aware of my appearance. Nevertheless, not every day do I see such a tenacious human being;

“Why are you trying to fly? You know you can't do this right?”

My question was plain. This time expect nothing. Pure ignorance. However, after multiple more times of him trying to fly, he answered.

“I am the Son of Phoenix. I must save the legacy of my father and become as legendary as he is.”

“You are a human being. Didn't you get the genes from your father, my friend? Just because you have both wings does not mean you are supposed to fly. Not all the birds are flying, yet it doesn't make them pathetic.”

My idea wasn’t to harm him, but I was honest.

“It doesn't matter how many times I'm going to fall down,” said the Son, “I'll keep trying until the last drop of my blood. I would rather die than be an arrogance of my father. Until now - I am nothing, and I don't have my name.”

There were no words to describe the feeling of my stunned speech. Never in my life have I seen the children of immortality. And now, I see how this human tries to be a God.

We take our parents as the example of perfection. How can I reach the level of his kind? Should I sew the wings the same as the Son did? My desire for perfection has never been satisfied, and that’s what kills me.

"Leave me, human," shouted the Son. "I appreciate the courage to assist me on my path, but I must complete it by my own will." The Son didn't let me come closer, but I tried to tell him. I wanted to tell him.

My heart was beating hard, and my lungs felt so narrowed; I could barely breathe. I wanted to tell him this. My body is sweating, and I am shaking. I must tell him this. I am about to faint. I should tell. I will tell him.

"Hey!" I called for him. "Just because you are immortal doesn't mean you can pity us, mortals, and think we are useless to you. Ask Zeus, and he'll tell you that."

I stood before him, while my mouth was drying out from fear. “I have nothing that I could cling to, something that would make me stay in this place. I have nothing, and I have no one in my life. How could an orphan be loved in this world?

I was out of breath, but the Son listened carefully to me, and then he approached me.

“As you wish, mortal”, said the Son “If you desire to assist and be part of my path, so be it.”

It is not his approval that made me smile for the first time in a blue moon, but the feeling of accomplishment. I have finally found my faith, and it was to finish what I was meant to.

We came back to the roof, where the Son was jumping off.

“Hop on my back”, I said. “I’ll run from a roof, and when I scream, you - jump from my back.” I could see his eyes staring at and not comprehending what I just said. “I don’t need to tell this again. Just do it.”

“You foolish mortal, it will lead to your death! You can’t do this.”

“I can, Son. I am not afraid of death. Life without meaning. It is something worse than death. I found my purpose, and I want to finish what I was meant to.” The Son stood and couldn’t do that to me. He refused to fly.

“I can’t do this,” the Son said “Your death will haunt my whole life; I will never heal from it.”

“Son, I’ll tell you one last time. What I say is something I desire. You desire to fly and become a God, and I wish to help you become one of them. Would you ever take this chance that will change you forever? Please, Son, just let me do this, and I promise the ghost of me would never haunt you ever in your dreams.”

After the dialogue, we looked at each other and realized - it was the last moment of our friendship. I came closer. Didn’t notice how his hands hugged me so tight, and I did as well. I softly kissed him on the cheek, feeling the warmth of him. It was something I never experienced in my life - support.

Carefully, the Son climbed on my back. I was trying to hold him steady; it was hard to hold him. However, the time had come. It was time to give another chance to the Son. It was my time to accomplish my purpose.

I ran. I ran as fast as I could. Even the shortness of breath didn’t stop me. Finally, when I was close to the edge of the roof, I screamed. The Son jumped. I fell from the roof.

I witnessed the triumph when the Son flew so high in the blue sky; he flew through the fluffy clouds and came closer to the stars. The Son of Phoenix finally became what he desired.

As I was falling down, my whole life ran before me. I saw nothing. The void. Everlasting abyss, where I was destined to fall. Without any sense of fear, I was falling and hoping to reach the end. Nevertheless, I've done what I was designed for. My purpose was accomplished.

He was still there. Falling. Staring at the paint where it all started, he reached the light at the end of this tunnel. The light saved him.

He was smiling.