~I Will Not Bow~

“Our schedules just keep colliding.” Blair was staring downwards, eyes focused on the movement off his own feet. “It’s nothing personal, Blair.”

“Then why does it feel like that?” Blair mumbled, dark eyes tilting upward to steer those green irises dead-on. “When I…”

Blair swallowed hard. That brunette made him want to do irrational things, but he needed to steer clear of anything illegal. Again.

“The Infinity Triad… It’s just not… for you, you know?” Halcyon said, laughing and leaning forward to press his face near Blair’s. It was breathless, his words.

“All my life, I was told something. I was expected to be everything, but also nothing at all.” Blair chuckled softly, refusing to look at Halcyon in the face again. “When I even try to explain it’s not my fault, you won’t listen.”

Halcyon just smirked, while Blair’s lips trembled in agitation.

“You’re gone. Or did you think I’d keep you on because I love you?” Halcyon laughed, soft and underneath his breath. His finger sliced its way vertical, from Blair’s adam’s apple to his chin. “You’re not important. And you never were.”

+-+

Blair’s eyes shut. His breathing was erratic. “I can’t do this anymore!” He shouted.

“Oh?” Deren said, singsongy. “And why is that, hm?”

“You - You expect me to be okay. But this is wrong, Deren. You keep cheating on me…” Blair swallowed the rest of his words. She didn’t see what was wrong with this. Was she so oblivious?

“Get this through your dumb head. You’re not important, Blair.” Deren laughed, coming closer to him, backing him up into a wall, though she was way shorter than him. Her bubblegum pop hair flounced as she laughed more. “Why do you think I won’t care if you kill yourself? You’re just too cowardly to do so, huh.”

+-+

Tears flowed faster. He didn’t want to get reminded of Zervis. It was bad enough that his brain sent up Deren and Halcyon.

If you’re not strong enough to handle the smallest setbacks, he continued his own mantra within his head, then you are not worthy of being the best.

Still, Blair’s breathing was erratic.

He expected Halcyon to walk in, to help him through his problems. All with a “Dear” and…

Blair’s fist slammed against the wall, as he choked back sobs.

He hadn’t seen any of them in years. Why did he get so upset about this? It wasn’t that important.

Like they kept telling you you are.

No, no, no.

Blair clutched his head, feeling the tears slid faster than the speed of light.

“I’ll stay.” Was that Halcyon or Zervis?

Blair didn’t know anymore. He felt down onto his knees, the openings on his legs scuffing against the floor.

No. I will not…

I will not bow. Especially not to THOSE assholes.

Blair breathed heavily, sticking out his tongue like a sick dog.

“I can handle this. I got this…” He told himself, even if he thought it was incorrect.

Blair breathed heavily, mind reeling.

Rock music blasted through Blair’s headphones; he hadn’t realized that he had been listening to his favorite bands. On shuffle.

He took deep breaths, settling himself. Deren, Zervis, Halcyon… Maybe all of them were important. Blair ran his hands through his dark hair.

He needed to calm down.

“Sweetheart…” That soft, feminine voice was lilting. Blair grumbled, but stopped moving. He had been spinning back and forth in his office chair. It was his sister.

“Myra.” Blair sighed; they looked near identical, except her eyes were brown instead of black. He smirked, feigning confidence.

“I heard you screaming from across the house.” She rolled her eyes, coming inside his room further. She gazed around.

Everything had been stripped because of his ‘tendencies’.

“No, you didn’t.” Blair mumbled, twiddling his fingers together.

“Don’t tell me what I did or didn’t hear,” She sighed. “If you need someone to talk to…”

“It’s been years. Don’t you think I’m over them already?” Blair laughed, helpless to the expression that crossed over Myra’s face.

She must’ve known he was faking it.

“If you say so, baby bro.” She said, biting her press-on nails in worry. “I’m not gonna push you…”

Blair nodded, but his brain was still reeling.

"Thank for you. At least you respect that-" Before he could finish his words, Myra had left. She had been in there briefly, just to talk shit and collect his laundry.

"No one ever listens to me..." Blair shook his head, getting up from the chair. His laptop had been since turned off; his phone was still blasting his favorite tunes, but he felt... empty again.

Deren had been terrible, just a bubblegum bitch. However... Blair felt drawn to her still.

He felt drawn to all of them, no matter if it was bad for him.