When Lonliness Calls
"You're a great woman. Honestly, you make me feel so safe and secure." I smiled at the phone as I walked to the kitchen, putting my wine glass in the sink. "It's like.. I didn't know I could actually feel this deeply about someone so quickly." I listened to him praise me and I giggled, feeling like I finally found someone I could actually build a future with. A sigh of relief fell over me. When he texted me earlier about wanting to talk, I thought I would be devastated by the time this phone call ended. "Yeah.. I could really see myself with you, having my kids. Of course there's no rush."
"Haha, well I'm happy to hear you've had a pleasing experience with me." I sat at the kitchen island." I think this could be a really great relationship. First off, you're very good at buttering a girl up, haha."I spoke, grinning from ear to ear. He laughed and then there was a long pause. "Yeah, ya know, I do have a way with words." He paused again. "I meant every word I said honestly. You're really a great woman... I don't think I deserve you though." My chest tightened. No. No. No. Please no. He began speaking again. " You deserve so much more." This is how it always ends. "And I am unable to give you what you need. We can still hang out and ya know, have sex from time to time... I really love the way you-"
"Stop." I took a deep breath. "Just stop talking." I hung up the phone and blocked him immediately. Another one bites the dust.
*****
My alarm blared in my ears and I jumped so hard, I fell out the bed. "Fuck." I peeled myself off of the plush carpet and just sat on the floor. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and began aimlessly scrolling on social media. I checked a few emails, and then headed to the bathroom to shower.
"Rise and shine ZuZu." My roommate Mani knocked on my door lightly. "How you feeling?" She came in with a tray of breakfast food and mimosas." You took the day off I see." I came out the bathroom pulling my locs into a high pony. "Yeah.. I think I'm going to go hiking today. You want to come?" She nodded as she took a sip of her drink. "Hell yeah! All the fine men go hiking on Orca trail!" I rolled my eyes, continuing to oil my body. "Mm. I just need some fresh air. Away from men actually. Maybe we could go to Mara Grove." She huffed, taking another sip. "And hol' up. What happen to Pharoah? I thought y'all were locked in?" She rolled her eyes. "Girl... I called myself popping up at his place in a trench coat.. A pregnant bitch answered the door. I was embarrassed and cold. I had nothing on under the coat!" I cringed. "Oof... Yeah that's fucked up." She shook her head. "And the worst part? He didn't even acknowledge it the next day at work. He just pretended I didn't exist. I went to text him and it said not delivered. Fuck him."
I finally finished getting dressed and started eating breakfast with her. Mani, short for Amani, has been my bestest friend since junior high. I love this girl to death. We went to the same high school, graduated from the same college with our bachelors, and we both lost our virginities around the same damn time. When I tell you this woman is my soulmate? I mean it deeply. She was there for my first heartbreak; I was there for her first pregnancy scare. We 20 years in. We both decided to go into something creative. Mani chose interior design and I chose journalism.
"So, what happened to that guy Giovanni? Y'all still-" I cut her off. "Nope. Absolutely not." She looked concerned. "I thought y'all were going well? Shit you just had a date with him earlier this week.. what happened?" I sighed, embarrassed. "The same thing that always happens." I mocked him "You're such a good woman, but." I rolled my eyes. "Same shit, different man. I'm just exhausted Mani. Can a girl just catch a break? Is love too much to ask for?" She nodded and pulled me in for a long hug. Tears started to fill my eyes and I pulled away. "I'll be okay. I always am."
We ended up going to Orca Trail. She bugged me the whole drive. When we got there, we seen a few people gathering by the starting point, stretching and getting their gear together. We grabbed our backpacks and blended right on in. Mani was searching for her husband as soon as we started hiking. I laughed, shaking my head. That girl works fast.
I bent down to tie my shoes and when I came up, I fell backwards. "Oh shit-" Someone caught me. "I got you." I heard a deep voice that touched my soul. I held my eyes closed shut. I'm embarrassed and I'm afraid to be eye to eye with this man who's voice just vibrated through my entire body. "You alright?" I nodded, allowing him to help me stand straight up. "Thanks." I finally opened my eyes and turned to see the most ethereal man I have ever seen in my life. I scanned him from head to toe. "Uhm, I should go find my friend." , "Wait-" I ran away with a quickness.
After hiking for a few hours, we headed to our favorite sushi spot, next to The Drill night club. We ordered our food and stared out the window towards the city. "Whew babbayyyy." Mani started doing her happy dance in her seat as she stabbed a piece of sushi. "I got 10 numbers today. Mm. They all fine. I don't even know which to try first. " She winked. "Bitch... you are nasty. " We laughed. "Listen, a girl has needs! I haven't had any in 3 weeks! That's wayyy too long. My girl is starvviiinnngggg. That vibration don't hit the spot like a warm body laying on top of you." She shivered with excitement. "Mm! I can't wait." She shoved the sushi in her mouth. I drank some of my sake and then picked up my chopsticks. "Yeah.. I think I'm gonna take a break from dating for a while." She rolled her eyes. "Come on now. You are literally the sexiest mami I ever seen. Pretty , chocolate ass skin... That banging body that these hoes pay hella money for... That big ass brain, pretty teeth. Girl.. you are the full package. Don't put yourself on the shelf." I smiled. "Thank you." She blew me a kiss and continued stabbing her sushi.
The day was completely random after that. Somehow, we ended up grocery shopping, then lingerie shopping, got her some new "toys" and then next thing I know, we back home getting ready to head out to The Drill. I dressed up in a cherry red strapless mini with my red bottom pumps, with the ankle strap. I had my locs half up, half down with some gold hair jewelry and a gold jewelry set. I sprayed some shimmer oil on my chest and shoulders and added my Cristian Dior perfume. Amani came sashaying out in a plum two-piece mesh set and her platform black heels. She had her long ass hair in the prettiest afro. It fell down her back and shoulders. We took her car and we had a few shots before we went into the club.
"Look what I gooottt" She pulled out a bag and opened it." Gah damn!" I shouted. That is strong as hell." She nodded and danced in her seat. "Yessss ma'am... I'm getting you loose tonight. I'm not letting my girl go out sad over some man when she can have anybody she wants." She turned on some pretty ricky and started rolling up. We sung hard as hell to the song as she rolled up. Somehow, I lost some time. I feel like we floated to the bar.
They started playing slow jams, it was R&B night. Mani sang to me for the first few songs until she decided to go hit the middle of the dance floor. I stood by the bar watching her and everybody else have a good time. She knows I'm not a clubber, but she is constantly instilling confidence in me and wanting me to show myself, so I just go with it. I'm honestly blessed.
Around 2 am, we were heading out the club. Mani was walking crooked as hell, still singing. Looks like I'm driving. Her phone rung and she answered with the funniest voice ever. "Hellooooooo Dannyyyyyyy." I grabbed her arm to keep her steady as we walked. "I'm at The Drillllllll you coming to get me?" She licked her lips before kicking her shoes off. "Mmm.. I like the sound of that! But look I drove with my homegirl, just meet us at Fontain Apartments!" She hung up.
"Already huh?" I smirked. She started dancing in the middle of the street. "Yessssss girl! Who getting fucked tonight?! Who getting fucked tonight?! I'M GETTING FUCKED TONIIIIIGGHHHHTTTTT" She did the heel toy and the pin drop with bare feet." We laughed so hard getting into the car. I know her toes hurt. We got to the house around 2:30 am and she headed straight to the shower. I went in my room and started undressing. She burst in about 30 mins later. "Alright bookie." She kissed my forehead. "I'm heading out! I'll see you in the morning!" I blew her a kiss back. "I'll be at work, but I'll be watching your location. I love you." She nodded. "I Loveeee youuu to the moon and backkkkkk!" The house went silent after she shut the door.
It started to rain and I sat there watching it. The moon was bright and full over the water. I took a deep breath in and grabbed my glass of water on the window seal. If only the universe could hear my call... I'd be making love under the moon light.
