Chapter 1: from the outside
THIRD PERSON
It's easy to look at someone and think you understand their life. From the outside, everything might seem fine, like they have it all put together. But sometimes, you don't see what they're really going through. You don't see the struggles they keep to themselves or the pain they carry quietly.
For Emma, everyone always saw her as the one put together. She had the perfect parents who supported her and showed up to every one of her track meets. But no one knew the car rides home would consist of both of her parents arguing the whole time.
She had a charming and sophisticated boyfriend who everyone respected and stopped to stare at. Yet, no one knew how badly he mistreated her with the degrading and ridiculing comments he made towards her when no one was around. Or on some occasions when he would grab her ever so roughly when she didn't want to be touched.
No one knew the silent sadness and struggles she carried while everyone else around her was moving on with their lives. She felt as if she was in a bubble that would never pop. A tightness in her throat every time someone would mention how lucky she is to have the people she has in her life, when she couldn't see how anyone would call that luck. The only one she found forever grateful to have stayed, was her best friend Josh.
It was with him around that her days began to feel less like a challenge to wake up to, but more of like a reward knowing he would be there. Every time she would see him, if it was for even just a minute or a split second, she cherished it. And probably more so than what she would ever dare to admit.
She would never let anyone know what was truly going on, not even Josh. She knew people had their own lives to live and struggles of their own so she wouldn't dare bother them with hers. And while Josh cared and promised to always listen when she needed someone to, she could never bring herself to admit to him that her love for her boyfriend, Mark, was slowly fading. How she felt as if she was slowly fading from every part of herself she was before she met Mark. Or how the happiness slowly drained from her face any time she was around her family because she couldn't take the constant bickering anymore.
She would swallow her hurt and sorrow, despite the weight of dread in her chest that weighed down on her every time she would see the sun peeking through her curtains in the morning. Or tightness that squeezed at her heart making her pause when she wanted so badly to speak her truth but couldn't. Because to admit that you're not okay when everyone else had always expected you to be, was a disappointment she never wanted to see.
