The Secrets Grace Refused to Bury

CHAPTER 1

What Happens After Midnight

Ken

Ken kept checking the time, waiting for six o'clock so he could leave work. Earlier that week, he had told his wife, Jada, that he was going out with the fellas. What he had not told her was that Broderick's bachelor party would be held in a penthouse suite at The Joule. Lately, marriage felt different. Since Jada had rededicated her life to God, faith had become central to everything she did. Ken missed the carefree woman who used to dance with him on weekends, but he also knew he had not tried very hard to understand the woman she was becoming.

Hours later, sitting in the driveway long after he should have been home, he leaned his seat back and let the blues play through the speakers. Yes, Johnnie Taylor’s “Still Called the Blues” was perfect. He already knew Jada would have questions. The problem was that he had answers he did not want to give.

Jada

It was three o'clock in the morning, and my husband still wasn't home. I sat up in bed and looked through the window, pulling my robe tighter around me. No headlights. No call. Nothing. I was trying not to become the suspicious wife who questioned every move her husband made, but Ken had been coming home later and later. In the ten years we had been together, this was new.

Part of me wondered if he was trying to recapture his youth. I tried reading, then scrolling through my phone, then watching TV, but nothing held my attention. Normally, Ken was home around ten-thirty. I missed our time together, and beneath my irritation was a feeling I could not shake: something had changed.

Ken had always been good company. That was one of the things I loved most about him. I hated letting suspicion take over, especially when I was trying to grow in my faith. My instincts had rarely failed me, but I did not want fear making decisions for me. Wrapping my fingers around the diamond crucifix necklace Ken had given me for Christmas, I began to pray.

Lord, please settle my heart and help me deal with whatever is true. Keep anger from controlling me. I love my husband, and I love You. Give me wisdom, patience, and the courage to face whatever I need to face. In Jesus' name, amen.

Through prayer, I made up my mind to stop tripping, so I got up to check on our twin girls. Ariel and Moriah are my two heartbeats. Standing there, I suddenly remembered the day they were born. I had been visiting Aunt Will and Uncle Harry when I went to the restroom to pee. Before I could even get my clothes down, I felt a warm liquid oozing down my leg. Instantly, I knew my water had broken.

"Uncle Harry! Aunt Will! My water broke!" I yelled from the bathroom.

Being the jokester he is, Uncle Harry teased, "We don't have any insurance around here! Call the ambulance and tell them to come get you."

Aunt Will asked if I was sure, and I assured her I was. When I called Ken, he rushed right over. We only lived a few blocks away, so he arrived in no time. He was nervous and happy all at once, kissing me and holding my hand as he walked me to the car as if I were made of glass. Good thing my maternity bag was already packed in the trunk. Ken drove a hundred miles an hour to get us to the hospital. With every contraction, I cried out, and Ken assured me we were almost there. We are a team. I remember those words like it was yesterday. Time surely passes by; I miss having babies in the house.

Now they are nine years old, and this year they decided they didn't want to share a room anymore. I allowed them to paint their rooms any color they wanted. Ariel chose pink with a Strawberry Shortcake theme, while Moriah chose red with a Little Mermaid theme. As I turned off the light in Ariel's room, I noticed she was tossing and turning as usual. My baby has always been afraid of the dark, just like I was at her age. It's amazing the things we pass down to our children. Not wanting to disturb her, I gently kissed her forehead and tiptoed out of her freshly painted pink room.

I walked across the hall to Moriah's room and found her sound asleep. Truly her daddy's baby, she sleeps wild just like him. After picking up the cover she had kicked onto the floor, I leaned down to kiss her cheek. Noticing she felt cold, I covered her up and crept out of the room, careful not to wake her as she rolled over.

The house was too quiet, so I went downstairs and curled up on the couch. I scrolled through Instagram for a while, but everybody's highlight reels only made me more restless. Tossing my phone aside, I opened a streaming app to find something to take my mind off Ken. I finally settled on a movie, but just as I started paying attention, I heard keys rattling at the door.

Ken walked in with his head lowered. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked completely exhausted. I stared at him, determined not to explode. No matter how angry I was, seeing him always softened something in me—and sometimes, I hated that about myself.

"Jada, why are you still awake?" he asked.

"It's three o'clock in the morning. The better question is why you're just getting home." I couldn't help the annoyance bleeding into my voice.

"Remember I told you Broderick was having a bachelor party? He's getting married this weekend. Me and a few guys got together and had some drinks," Ken replied.

"No, I don't remember you saying it was going to be tonight."

"Yes, I did. You must have forgotten," Ken said, placing his keys on the counter and kicking off his shoes.

"I would have remembered that. Why didn't you call? Were there any strippers?" I couldn't help myself.

"Why should it matter?" This time, Ken was the one looking annoyed. "Why are you getting an attitude? No, we only had a few drinks," he snapped, heading straight upstairs.

"Whatever, Ken! You've been coming in late all week," I said, stumbling slightly as I followed him up the stairs. Remembering the girls, I quickly lowered my voice. I glanced at their doors; thankful I had closed them earlier. "What would you think if the shoe was on the other foot? You'd be thinking the exact same thing."

"Jada, I am getting tired of your jealous ways. If we don't have trust, we don't have anything," Ken said, turning to face me. "I love you, but I don't know how much more of this jealousy I can take."

"What do you mean by that? Are you threatening me?"

"No, Jada. I just want you to trust me. I don't want anyone but you."

"Ken, sometimes my mind wanders. You could at least call and let me know what's going on. I just want my baby here safe with me. I miss you. A lot goes on out in those streets."

"Jada, I miss you too, and the girls. I promise I will try to come in at a reasonable time. If I'm going to be late, I'll call you. How about that?"

"We shall see."

"Jada, you are never satisfied," Ken replied, finally lying down in bed.

"You make me sick, you know that?" I muttered. But on the inside, I was just glad he was home. I couldn't sleep in this bed without him.

"Yep, I know that. That's why I married you—because I make you sick. You're just sick in love with me," Ken teased.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, Ken." He was right, though. I did love him.

"Jada, I'm hungry. What did you cook?"

"There's tuna salad and chips. The bowl is at the bottom of the refrigerator with the blue lid on it. You'd best go downstairs and get it yourself, because I am not moving." Normally, I would gladly make Ken a plate, but not tonight.

Ken didn't argue. I rolled over, listening to his footsteps fade down the hall toward the kitchen. I closed my eyes, pretending to be fast asleep by the time he walked back into the room and flipped on the lights. He had fixed the sandwich, and it smelled so good it took everything inside of me not to beg for a bite.

"Jada, I know you didn't fall asleep that fast."

A smirk caught the corner of my lips, and I tried my best to hold it in. "What do you want, Ken?"

"Here, Jada, take a bite. You know I'm not even a big food person like that."

As much as I wanted to stay mad, he always knew exactly how to butter me up and make me give in. I took a bite of the sandwich.

"Turn that light off when you're finished with that, Ken," I mumbled.

"You just wanted some attention, that's all," Ken uttered.

If I said I didn't want him close, I'd be lying, but I wasn't about to let him know that. "Ken, ain't nobody even thinking about sex. You probably already got you some tonight anyway. Plus, you are on punishment."

Ken laughed softly. "Jada, if I already got some, trust me, I wouldn't be looking for none from you."

"That don't mean nothing," I retorted, rolling back over.

"Jada, I don't have time for this. The Bible says once you are married, your body belongs to me—your husband," Ken recited.

"Oh, now you know the Bible when it is convenient for you. Don't talk about what the Bible says. I am subject to God first, then you. Then again, you are not being a good head of the household when you are out in the world. So, technically, you can't say too much to me. God is running this."

I always seemed to shut him up when it came to the Word. I rolled over. I was so glad he didn't want to argue about it anymore.

Ken didn't utter one word. In the dark, I could hear him laying his clothes down. The smell of alcohol and Perry Ellis cologne filled the air. The scent of his cologne turned me on, but I told myself I would not give in. He turned off the lights and got close behind me. I could tell he had on boxer briefs only. "Jada, you feel that? Look at what you did," Ken whispered in my ear.

I could feel his breath on my neck. He knows my neck is my spot. He plays too much. I turned toward Ken, still determined to hold on to my frustration. He moved closer and kissed me, but I reminded him that I needed to feel heard, not simply distracted from what was wrong between us.

When he asked if I wanted him to stop, I answered honestly. I was still frustrated, but the tension between us had started to soften. I was just about to give in when my phone buzzed with a weird text message from an unknown number: Your husband is not who he says he is. He has a girlfriend on the side. You are a fool... lol. Just like that, the moment was gone. Devil, not today. I tried to reply, but I couldn't.