UNCONTROLLABLE TEARS

The garden was beautiful.

The grass was neatly cut, soft and green beneath my feet, while tiny flowers swayed gently in the warm breeze.

For once, everything around me felt peaceful.

I smiled as I walked through the garden.

Then I saw her.

Elizabeth was sitting beneath a large tree, knitting a beautiful cardigan. She looked so happy, so peaceful.

Nothing like the woman I knew.

I slowly walked toward her.

“Stepmom?”

She looked up at me and smiled.

“I told you to call me Mom, not Stepmom.”

I stopped.

“Mom?”

She nodded.

A smile slowly spread across my face.

“Can I help you?”

She shook her head.

“No, sweetheart. Sit down and watch me.”

Sweetheart.

I sat beside her, watching her hands move carefully through the wool.

For some reason, my chest felt warm.

“Where is Suzita?” she suddenly asked.

“Maybe she's in her room.”

Before I could say anything else, I noticed Suzita walking out of the house.

“Suzita!” I called loudly, waving my hand to get her attention. “Come over here!”

She looked in our direction and smiled before walking toward us.

She sat beside me, and Elizabeth looked at the cardigan in her hands.

“I’m sure this will look beautiful on my two daughters.”

My heart fluttered.

Two daughters.

I looked at Suzita.

She smiled at me.

Then we all laughed.

It felt strange.

Not bad strange.

Just... unfamiliar.

I couldn't remember the last time we had been together like this.

Happy.

Without shouting.

Without insults.

Without me being afraid of doing something wrong.

I looked at Elizabeth again.

Maybe this was what having a family was supposed to feel like.

“It's beautiful,” I whispered.

She smiled.

“It will look even more beautiful when you wear it.”

I smiled wider.

For a moment, I wanted to believe this was real.

I wanted to stay there forever.

Then I felt something cold touch my cheek.

I frowned.

Another drop landed on my forehead.

I slowly looked up.

And—

Splash!

Water hit my face.

My eyes flew open.

I woke up to an angry face glaring daggers at me.

“How dare you!”

The moment I heard those words, I knew I was in for it.

“Please forgive me. I didn't mean to.”

I immediately scrambled off the couch and knelt down, silently pleading for the sake of my poor skin.

Elizabeth stared down at me.

“You must be very stupid.”

She turned and walked away.

I lowered my head.

For a tiny second, I thought she was leaving me alone.

I was wrong.

She returned a few moments later with a whip in her hand.

My heart dropped.

“Lie on your stomach.”

“Please...” My voice shook. “It won't happen again.”

A sharp pain suddenly exploded across my shoulder.

I cried out.

Of course.

What was I expecting?

She had just hit me.

She would never love me.

She would never treat me well.

And here I was, dreaming about an impossible version of her.

A version that called me sweetheart.

A version that called me her daughter.

A version that wanted me.

That stupid dream had only gotten me into more trouble.

Oh, my goodness.

She would never change.

“Have you gone deaf?” Elizabeth yelled. “I said lie on your stomach this minute while I'm still being nice!”

Is this what nice means to her?

I swallowed my tears and slowly lay on my stomach.

“Please, Mom. I'm so sorry. I didn't know when I slept off.”

The moment the word left my mouth, I regretted it.

Another stroke landed on me.

“You stupid girl!” Elizabeth shouted. “Haven't I told you not to call me your mother anymore?”

I cried silently.

“And what about the plates I asked you to wash?”

Another stroke.

“And the clothes?”

Another.

“You think you can sleep whenever you want?”

I shook my head.

“No, ma'am.”

“Then why were you sleeping?”

“I was tired.”

The words escaped before I could stop myself.

Elizabeth paused.

I held my breath.

Then she laughed bitterly.

“Tired?”

I said nothing.

“You're tired?”

Her voice was dangerously calm.

“You haven't even finished your chores, and you're already tired?”

I squeezed my eyes shut.

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be.”

She dropped the whip onto the nearby table.

“Get up.”

I slowly pushed myself off the floor.

My body ached.

My face was wet with tears, but I quickly wiped them away.

I didn't want her to see me crying.

Not that it mattered.

She had already seen enough tears from me.

“Go to the backyard,” she ordered. “The clothes are waiting for you.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“And after that, clean Suzita's room.”

I looked at her.

“But I haven't finished—”

Her eyes narrowed.

I immediately stopped talking.

“Go.”

I picked up the bucket beside the couch and walked toward the backyard.

As I stepped outside, the afternoon sun hit my face.

I took a deep breath.

My cheek still burned from the slap, and my body hurt from the beating.

But somehow, what hurt the most was the dream.

For a few minutes, I had experienced something I had always wanted.

A mother who loved me.

A family that wanted me.

A home where I belonged.

But it had only been a dream.

And reality was waiting for me outside.

The pile of clothes was already there.

I stared at it.

Then I sighed and knelt beside the bucket.

I picked up the first piece of clothing and dipped it into the soapy water.

That was my life.

Wake up.

Work.

Get yelled at.

Get punished.

Cry when nobody was looking.

Then wake up and do it all over again.

My name is Maya, and this was the life I had become used to.

Ever since my mother died, the world had never felt the same.

My father hated me.

He blamed me for her death.

And the worst part was that I blamed myself too.

I had been the one who insisted that my mother come with me to the pool that day.

If I hadn't insisted, maybe she would still be here.

Maybe she would still be there for me.

For us.

Maybe we would have been one big, happy family.

Instead, I was left with a father who could barely stand the sight of me and a stepmother who seemed determined to make every day of my life miserable.

Sometimes, I wondered if happiness simply wasn't meant for me.