Six of Cups
You lie an inch apart on your own continuum
“This is your captain speaking. We will be cruising at 35,000 feet for the rest of our flight to beautiful Indianapolis. So, sit back, relax, and our staff will be around shortly for snacks and beverages. Enjoy your flight.”
She was nervous. Of course, she was nervous.The conversation she imagined repeatedly occurred just a few weeks prior.The one where he came back... the one where he said he missed her warmth; her love; her companionship. She forced the conversation over Facetime; she needed to see him... to ensure her sanity, and her heart, that this was true. Since that conversation, they spoke every day: texting, calling; Facetime dates. The beauty behind this was that this felt different. Ina good way, of course. The nostalgia was still present, but with a different air about it. She looked out the window, overlooking what was left of the Nevada desert as she traveled eastbound to the person she called home.
Now keep the freak show talk to a careful minimum
She remembered how she felt when he told her that he needed to see her, a sense of urgency in his voice.He knew she could not afford the ticket;she had suffered hardship since he told her goodbye.“Please, let me take care of it. Come home to me.” she remembered him saying.Home... such a simple word that carried so much weight behind it. She had learned over these past several months that home could be a person, but she must find solace within herself before stepping into something new. Anxiety crept up her throat; the urge to cry was hiding behind her glasses. “Holy shit...I am going home.” She thought.Her eyes stung as the first tear fell. Luckily, she had a row to herself. If the waterworks needed to happen, there would be no judgment from the other passengers.
I’ll find a different harbor to lay my anchor in
She remembered the night he broke it off with her. “I still love you, and that’s what makes this so difficult.” She remembered what he said, through tears.Promises broken with just one sentence; promises of marriage, a new life being made together, a blended family. She remembered him asking, “Will you be mine?” at midnight on Halloween last year. Half asleep, she whispered, “Always.”
And you will find a different way to keep from setting sail again
She shook her head, almost trying to shake the memories clear from her mind. She noticed her face was streaked with tears. She removed her glasses and used her sweatshirt sleeve to wipe her face clear. She tried not to allow the memories to creep back in; she kept reminding herself it was him, but under new circumstances.She pulled out her Air pods, placed them in each ear, and began searching for something...anything, to listen to. She naturally chose a playlist titled, “Respectfully, I am unwell.” and heard the familiar sounds of Sleep Token play through. Her memories began to inch across her consciousness. This time, they were centered around the aftermath.
But I am still full of the love you want
She remembered the hollowness she felt the night he left; the fact that she had not physically seen him since January.She ran after him when he left her home, planting one more kiss on his lips.“I am sorry. But I must leave now.” She remembered what he was saying, still crying. The longing to remain in his orbit, but reminding herself she could not. The emptiness that followed left a deeper, unsettling feeling she had truly never felt before.
Still waking up beneath it all
“Enough.” She thought. Sleep Token had been blaring through her headphones.She realized she could not sleep with the loud music. She grabbed her phone and turned the music down, just enough to hear Vessel’s melodic voice. She rested her head back and slumbered off into a fitful sleep.
And I’m still full of the love you want
She heard the familiar seat belt chime ring over her music. A muffled voice came over the intercom. “This is your captain speaking. We will be arriving in Indianapolis in about five minutes. Please remain seated with your seat belt fastened. We will be on the ground shortly. Welcome to Indianapolis.”She sat up, stretched, blinking her tiredness away. “I made it.” She thought. An elated feeling washed over her. She is five minutes from home.
I reach for you on faith alone
When the plane touched down, she at once grabbed her phone and turned airplane mode off. A message, from him, popped up onto her screen. “I’m here. I just saw your plane land.”The message read.She smiled. “Yeah, but it will be an hour before I’m off the plane.” She ended the message with a laughing emoji. Three bubbles, then, “I really hope it doesn’t take that long. I need to see you.”He sent back. Her cheeks flushed. She began typing, “Well, I can have a conversation with the flight attendants to let me off first. Official police business, you know.” Sent. Read. Three bubbles. “Just tell them you’re seeing the love of your life after many months apart.” He replied. She smiled, truly smiled. “Then I will tell them just that. Give me a few minutes and I will let you know when I am off the plane.I will call you.” She sent.
Seems your heart is locked up,and I still get the combination wrong
After weaving through the airplane and reaching the terminal, she removed her phone from her pocket and called him. Heat once picked up. “Hey you.” He spoke. “Hey you. I am off the plane, walking toward baggage claim.” She replied. “Okay, perfect. I am over by carousel three.” He added.
There was a moment of silence. “Can I ask you something?” He asked; his voice was low. Her heart began to hammer.“Of course you can.” She spoke. There was another momentary pause. “Are you nervous or scared right now?” His voice was so low she could barely make out what he said. She stopped in her tracks. “I would be lying if I told you I was fine.” She continued. “I haven’t seen you physically since January. I’m not sure if I will be able to hold my emotions.” She began her trek again to baggage claim, at a faster pace. Her body knew the answer to his question before her mind did. “Are you okay?” She asked, voice shaking a bit. Another pause. “I’m scared shitless right now, babe.” He sighed. “I, too, do not know how my emotions will be.” She felt the tears well up again, stinging her eyes before gravity brought them down.She sniffed, “Well, I’m already crying, so.” She nervously laughed.She saw the baggage claim sign and followed the arrow.
Or are you simply waiting to save your love for someone I am not?
“I’m almost there. Which carousel did you say you were at again?” She asked, starting her descent on an escalator. “Carousel three, by a set of escalators.” He mentioned. She froze, “Oh shit. I think you’re going to see me in a second or two...” she trailed off as baggage claim came into view. She saw multiple carousels running as passengers looked for their luggage. She looked at the numbers near the top of the carousels and counted to herself, “One... two...three...”Her eyes desperately scanned the crowd, as she continued her descent down the escalator. Anxiety crept into her throat again as she scanned and then...
There he is.
Too many swallowed keys will make you bleed internally.
The phone was still up to his ear as his eyes locked with hers. She exited the escalator and paused, still holding the phone to her ear.Time slowed as passengers moved toward the exit and the carousels.She placed her phone in her pocket and began to close the distance, noticing he did the same. Both of their paces were fast enough without breaking into a full run. It felt as if gravity was pulling them together. Once close enough, both arms opened wide as they collided, like two solar systems in the night sky.
His arms tightened around her waist and shoulders as her arms locked around his waist. She could not help the tears as she began to sob into his chest. His right hand cradled the back of her head as he began to sway. As her head rested against his chest, she could hear his heartbeat; rapid and heavy, pounding as though it had been waiting months to be heard. Her sobs slowed as she pulled back and looked at him, truly fucking looked at him.There he is.He was also crying, tears staining his face as he smiled at her. Fora moment, she caught his eyes looking at her lips, then backup to her eyes.His right hand moved to cradle her cheek, and before she knew, his lips were on hers.
And I’m still full of the love you want
She remembered this. Remembered his lips, how soft they felt. She noticed he was cautious, as though the kiss was asking a question neither of them had been brave enough to say aloud. For half of a heartbeat,she froze. Then familiarity awakened her. Her hand naturally found the back of his neck as she deepened the kiss. Whatever hesitation existed between them disappeared. His arms tightened around her, pulling her closer while the kiss deepened. Months of restraint collapsed at once; not graceful or careful, but desperate with everything they had been unable to give each other hundreds of miles away.
When they finally separated, neither went too far. Their foreheads rested together; both breathless, small smiles pulled at the corners of their mouths. “Hi.” He laughed. She chuckled, “Hi.” She smiled. His thumb reached up and wiped a tear from her cheek.His gaze broke from hers as he looked around and said, “We need to get your bag before the next flight comes in.” She nodded and she stepped away from him, outstretching her hand to take his. Their fingers interlaced as they walked toward carousel three. It was not long before her suitcase was found. He insisted on carrying it and laughed as he said, “I am a gentleman. It’s what I do.” They both laughed as they walked toward the exit.
They continued their small talk as they traveled to his truck. He placed her suitcase in the back seat and went ahead to open the passenger door for her. As she was about to get into the passenger seat, she noticed his demeanor had changed briefly. She looked at him as he asked nervously, “Can I ask you something?” That phrase again. The same one from the phone call.He struggled for a second; he knew what he wanted, not what he feared.“Of course, love.” She replied softly, giving him a reassuring smile.He bit his lip. “I know what my answer is. But are you okay with...this?”As he gestured between both of them.
The question caught her off guard for a moment. Then she smiled sweetly, got close to him, and kissed him once more. Her hand traveled to his face as she caressed his cheek. She pulled away and made eye contact with him. “Always.” She whispered.
No matter what, forevermore.
