the things we never say

The Girl Who Always Said, “I’m Fine”

Layan knew how to look fine.

She knew when to smile, when to nod, and when to say, “It’s okay,” even when there was nothing inside her that felt remotely okay.

She had mastered those words in a way that was almost impressive.

When her mother asked:

— How was your day?

She would say:

— Fine.

When Maryam asked:

— Are you tired?

She would say:

— A little.

And whenever someone noticed her distant expression and asked:

— Is something wrong?

She would smile and say:

— No.

She wasn’t exactly lying.

She was simply shortening things.

Condensing an entire day into a single word, years of questions into a smile, and a need for comfort into one brief sentence.

And she was very good at it.

At school, she seemed perfectly ordinary.

She laughed with Maryam, complained about homework, forgot her pen, borrowed one from someone else, and then forgot to give it back.

Maryam would say:

— If forgetting were a school subject, you’d get the highest grade.

Layan would reply:

— I believe in specializing.

And they would laugh.

But when she returned home and closed the door to her room, another version of her appeared.

A version no one knew.

She would sit at her desk, stare at the page, and read the same line three times without knowing what she had just read.

She would put her phone aside.

Then reach for it again.

Open it.

Close it.

Rest her head on the pillow.

And suddenly, she would remember something someone had said a week ago.

Why had they said it?

Did they mean it about her?

Had something changed?

Had anyone noticed that she had gone quiet?

Should she have answered differently?

And just like that, a sentence of five words could turn into an entire meeting inside Layan’s head, one that lasted until midnight.

She thought about the things that had happened.

And the things that hadn’t.

And the things that might happen.

Sometimes, she even thought about things that could never happen at all.

She knew she thought too much.

She just didn’t know how to stop.

She believed the solution was to find an answer to every question.

She didn’t know yet that some questions were never meant to be solved.

They were meant to be left unanswered.

And without realizing it, Layan’s life was passing by while she was busy trying to understand it.

Have you ever said “I’m fine” when you really weren’t?

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